Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 The ex and I broke up after 2years about 6 months ago. I did no contact and he moved in w/ an old gf. He periodically called and I usually didn't talk to him. He tried to come back a few months back and I told he'd have to wait a few days. Then he changed his mind in a few days. He tried to call several times and I didn't talk to him. Several weeks ago he called and left several messages saying he wanted to come back. He also gave his friend messages for me saying the same thing. I called him, never mentioned the messages and neither did he. I haven't seen him at all since we split. He was waiting for me last night when I came out of the mall. The truth is I love the guy and want him back, but he's been living w/ the old gf all of this time. We talked about what happened. That was about what I expected it to be. He's been having a terrible time and is living w/ a family member and still seeing the gf. I told him I couldn't be his friend. He was disappointed by this. As he was leaving I told him I missed him. He was completely shocked by this. He truly thought I hated him up to that point. I asked him if he wanted to go get a room or something and he turned me down. But he told me to check in with him in a few weeks. Did he just not want to be with me? Does he really want me to check in with him, and if so, why? He really did have to be home (respect for family thing). I told him no strings and nothing physical, I'd be happy with just spending time with him. He said it definitely wouldn't be that way. I never did tell him I got his messages. He had told his friend that he loves me and wanted me back and was not with her anymore-and he wasn't at the time. I was really trying to do the no contact thing, but if they are going to come back, you've got to talk sometime! Is he just playing with me? He didn't say anything definite-just to check in with him. I really do want to get back with him. What should I do?
magda Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I wouldn't listen to a damn thing he says until he's not living with the other girl. She he SAYS he loves you, but what does that mean when he's LIVING with someone else? To me, not much. I think he means he doesn't know what he wants and won't anytime soon. If he knew what he wanted, and it was you, he wouldn't be living with that girl and he'd be trying harder. Don't even entertain the thought of a relationship with him until he's single and living on his own or you'll send the message that you're okay with crumbs he's tossing at you.
Jane Doe Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 It sounds to me like he can't get his head screwed on correctly and is playing with you in the meantime. Regardless of what he says, the fact is, he's still living with this girlfriend. Look at the actions; don't listen to the words.
dr strangelove Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Is he living with his ex or just seeing her? You are right, at some point to get back together you have to talk.
Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I wouldn't listen to a damn thing he says until he's not living with the other girl. She he SAYS he loves you, but what does that mean when he's LIVING with someone else? To me, not much. I think he means he doesn't know what he wants and won't anytime soon. If he knew what he wanted, and it was you, he wouldn't be living with that girl and he'd be trying harder. Don't even entertain the thought of a relationship with him until he's single and living on his own or you'll send the message that you're okay with crumbs he's tossing at you. He's not living with her-he's still seeing her though. He's living with a family member and really had to be in at a certain time. They wouldn't be too pleased if he hadn't come home. He has a lot of serious issues right now. Staying w/ family means he's hit rock bottom. I haven't entertained going back with him until he's done with her. He really wasn't with her when he left the messages and talked to his friends.
Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 It sounds to me like he can't get his head screwed on correctly and is playing with you in the meantime. Regardless of what he says, the fact is, he's still living with this girlfriend. Look at the actions; don't listen to the words. He's not living with her. He's living with a family member. He does have a lot of issues right now. He didn't try to get back with me when I saw him. I hit on him, which is very unusual for me. He turned me down and asked me to check in with him in a few weeks. He was genuinely shocked. And he really did need to be back at the house at a certain time or risk losing a place to live.
Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Is he living with his ex or just seeing her? You are right, at some point to get back together you have to talk. He is just seeing her. He was not with her when he left the messages and talked to his friends. He is living with a family member and really did have to be in at a certain time. We're not kids, we both have our own teenagers. They just wouldn't appreciate having him come in and out whenever he chose. He's not in a good place right now and has gone through hell since we split. He's lost just about everything he had when we first got together. It started before the split, but has gotten much worse since. He was just completely shocked by me. But he wouldn't even give me a hug. And he did that for years when we were just friends. He stressed the fact that he wasn't going home to her. I verified where he is living. He said he was working on him. And to check in with him in a few weeks to see where he is at. I really had him convinced that I hated him. His friends have made him feel like an ass, not because of anything I've said or done, I don't discuss it with them, but by how he treated the situation. But they all expect me to end up back with him. I know he's not sure of my situation. And he didn't ask. But he has in the past, and I wouldn't answer him because he was with her. He more than likely thinks I'm with someone, or have been. There's been no one. He is all I can think about, and I try very hard not to. And I don't know if I should bother calling him or not.
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