Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 ok, so my ex and i broke up last monday. she told me tues that she was talking to some guy on sunday and thats why she broke up with me on monday. i tried to get her back but she said she doesnt wanna give me a chance because she like this guy more now. "he is everything" she wants in a guy, so she says. now we were in a relationship of 1 year and 3 months. i started the NC, but now it might break because shes in a sorority and i am in a fraternity. now the frat and the sorority is gonna throw a party with one another, here is where my question falls in... should i go or not go? i still love her and i would probably take her back if she wants to, but i doubt itll happen because she really likes this new guy and already slept with him. so it hurts just to see her even walk by. on weds, she came to my work for a lil bit to drop somthing off and i got pissed that she even showed up. but she acted like NOTHING, happened. and thats what pissed me off even more. now i dont wanna be in a bad mood at the party, but i also dont want her the satisfaction of knowing im hurt. so what should i do? should i go or not? should go to the party and get hurt, or should i just avoid her and not go and have her realize how her life is WITHOUT me...? please help, because i really dont know.
heartbroken1234 Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Personally... I feel you still MUST go to the party! Yeah, you're gonna be hurting, but who wouldn't. You just need to go out and try and have a good time. Although she is the one that has moved on.... if she see's you out enjoying yourself and having a good time w/ out her, she's gonna be very jealous and wonder why you aren't upset. So do your best to play it off like you're still living... She knows your hurting and deep down she probably is as well, so thats just a given. SO definitely go, but if you want to avoid her while there, thats your choice. Just make sure if you do talk to her try not to bring everything up about how you feel and all that. Just play it cool man. Let her know how you feel and after that there is really nothing more you can do. Everytime you wonder about talking to her, calling her, or anything, just think to yourself... " In doing so, is she gonna want me back instantly?" B/c no offense, but odds are it won't make a difference, The change will have to be from her heart and her mind alone. Good luck man! I'll be praying for ya. And just remember, you're probably very blessed compared to many people in this world. I know this is a thread about break-ups. But be thankful for everything you do have and will have in life. You can only control so much so just live your life and try to be happy!!!
D-Lish Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Honestly? Don't go. It will be painful to see someone you love making love stares with their new partner...why put yourself through that? In order to recover, you need to take time away from this person- believe me, it makes it easier when you don't see them or have contact with them. If she's found a new man, then you don't want her anyway. You've stated your case and your feelings to her- now take a step back and go into no contact mode with her. It's inevitable that after a year and 3 months that she still has feelings- when you're suddenly absent from her life, she'll be forced to wonder what you're doing. If your buddies are going to be at this party- tell them to tell her you're out on a date. And if you do happen to run into her at anytime- appear like you are happy and "over it". She's in control right now because she's the dumper and has someone new. Make her believe you are over it and have moved on, even plunge yourself back in the dating scene. I wouldn't put myself through the pain of seeing her - it will be easier on you if you just don't go. Make sure to do something else that is fun and keeps your mind off things... Good luck.
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