Dating girl 4 months -- no sex yet!

[scammy]

elvis has left the building

[Adunaphel]

I can get sex anytime I want. I could go out to a bar and meet some girl that will let me hit it on the first night. Or, I could call up my ex for a fling or some girls down the street I used to hang out with.

 

You surely could.

Just never, ever say this to your gf, nor even out of the direst frustration.

(Well, I'm pretty sure you weren't going to tell her such a thing anyway, were you?)

 

My point is "THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX JUST FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING MY ROCKS OFF!"

 

Point taken (since your first post).

It's about having sex with her specifically, and about what having (or not having) sex with her would mean to you or how it would make you feel.

 

Either you people are stupid or you just didn't read what I wrote.

 

Uh... actually, neither of the above.

A number of other posters happen to have first-class brains, and it sounds like they did read very carefully what you wrote.

 

Let me reiterate, "I GENUINELY CARE FOR THIS GIRL"

 

I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER FOR THESE REASONS:

 

1. I WANT TO FEEL ACCEPTED BY HER

2. I WANT TO SHARE THAT PHYSICAL INTIMACY WITH HER

3. I WANT TO FEEL THE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH HER

 

I believe you 100%.

 

I do a lot for this girl -- Ive given my time, energy , and emotion. Im just asking for it to be reciprocated. I can't fathom how that could in any way be construed as wrong.

 

Hasn't she been giving you her time, energy and emotions as well???

 

Pressuring her for sex, might make her feel like all the time, energy, and emotions she put in your relationship are not really worth much to you.

 

If she knows, or if she guessed, that you think that she "owes" you sex to reciprocate time, energy and emotions that you have been giving to her - and that she has (I should hope) been returning!!! - then I can very well see why she might not be feeling like having sex with you.

[Green]

He should be getting sex heck she keeps telling him she is going to have sex with him. Shes been doing things with him such as head which I consider more then sex. Look if she started this relationship with telling him she doesnt have sex for a long time or untill mariage when they had first started going out I'd say fine but she keeps telling him next week we'll have sex I promise next week. Look He's aloud to feel the way he does with out being looked at as jerk. Lets be realistic he was looking for a relationship in which he could fully experience his partner and he's not getting that, it would be a bad idea to pressure her but he doesnt need to be attacked for what he's thinking. I would dump this girl if she kept telling me next week we'll have sex and it kept dragging on for 2 months like it did with you. Personaly I like to experience relationships fully and there are plenty of guys who would love to go out with a girl and never have sex with them so let them do it. Lifes to short to play a bunch of mind games and go around feeling rejected by some girl who keeps on using every excuse in the book to mask saying what she knows will drive you away the truth. she probably did have sex with those other guys way sooner then now, and for what ever reason she isnt being true with her. Your not a jerk your aloud to say what you feel if this was the reverse and some girl was talking about how a guy wasnt a virgin was 28 and had sex with his past gf's sooner and just kept telling her next week and giving excuses for 2 months why they couldnt do it no one would spam them.

[Guest]

Sheew - I actually read the entire thread. Something struck me right off the bat in his first post -and nobody has said anything bout it. In his very first post he said she gives great hand jobs - but really crappy head. Um - ok - I"m 45 - head has to be pretty damn bad for a guy to say that - cuz for most guys...any head is at least decent head?

 

Really hot girls are usually assumed to be really great in bed - think a poster or two said that here - sexual dynamo's etc. Ever stop to think that she ain't that great in bed - and a prior boyfriend told her she was a lousy lay? That would put a real crimp in confidence don't ya think. And to take that risk with someone - especially someone she cares about - think that might make her chicken out/constantly come up with excuses.

 

Just a thought

[DanielMadr]

And if she says "no"... as you indicated here: "FORCE HER? Making her hot is called foreplay silly, not forcing." then it means 'STOP', not continue to get her 'hot'. There is such a thing as rape, 'silly'.

 

And to the OP... you're whiny 'expecting' attitude is a real turnoff. If you're that 'hard up', then find someone who is more willing to go along with your game but quit forcing yourself on a woman who simply isn't ready for it.

 

RAPE? Thats why I write about difference between NO and no. Little, dreamy 'no' is just cliche. Every sane mature guy can tell the difference between real NO and no. And yep NO to foreplay is a stop but its not what we are talking about.

 

Whinny attitude is turnoff. Thats why I advice not to ask even talk about sex. It should be spontaineous (spelling sorry) thing.

[DanielMadr]

I think this is a good idea.

 

It's a pretty big turn-off when a guy knows I don't want to have sex but keeps trying to get physical in order to coax me into it. But it'd be a pleasant surprise (and pretty sexy) for a guy to respect my wishes enough to call it off on his own. It also makes you look less desperate and more in control.

 

Yeah but it is called playing games, making shyt tests = satisfying EGO. Will you respect me? Are you needy? Are you in control? But these kinds of tests are big turnoff for guys. After these tests I feel like to throw up not to have sex. Either you love him and want to f**k his brains out or dont.

[DanielMadr]

Not only can you not form proper sentences but also you are poorly informed from the American Social Health Association here’s the link....

http://www.ashastd.org/condom/condom_introduction.cfm

You would not know the first thing on how to raise a morally decent young lady do not procreate please we have enough morons in this world. As a matter of fact every person that agrees with this poster should just go sterilize himself or herself immediately

 

1) My sentences are not perfect because English is not my native language. Sorry I was born to another part of world.....much more poorer, cruel and dumber:lmao:

 

2) I SAID.... NO STD with CONDOM. And I said....LONGER SHE WAITS MORE CHANCE FOR HIM TO CATCH STD SOMEWHERE ELSE, exactly as ASHA says.

 

3) INSULTING ME is not a good way to make debate. If you wish to cut my balls of you should visit psychiatrists;)

[Walk]

the reality is that I have been very patient, Ive told her I care for her, Ive expressed my caring not just through words but by being supportive, spending time with her, etc. Ive gone out of my way to develop a loving caring relationship with this woman. In every relationship there are needs on both sides. I have needs too. I am not being selfish by wanting to have sex with my girl! It baffles me that anyone would think that. It's not like I'm telling her "***** me or get out!"

Some of you *****ers are really demented.

 

THE GIRL IS PROBABLY SCAMMING ME. SOME WOMEN WILL TREAT YOU LIKE **** IF YOU LET THEM.

 

I think I want to change my vote.. although, I'm not sure exactly what my vote was in the first place. haha

 

Which ever poster said it earlier (can't find it now) that it would be different if she had said something along the lines of how she wanted to wait, etc. and stuck to the same line through-out. But instead she keeps alluding to the fact that she will, and soon.. and that's got to be incredibly frustrating.

 

So... This is my suggestion... tell her, you wouldn't have cared if she didn't want sex right now, or if she did... but telling you she will do something and then not followign through is not the type of person you wish to be with. Maybe you could relate it to something in her life... like if a boss kept offering that big promotion, and telling her "next week" you'll have it. And she really wanted it... but then every week it was "next week". Maybe she just doesn't realize how frustrating and aggravating this is to you. Or if you had promised you would do something she likes you to do with her, but every time it was time to do it you told her "next week, I don't feel comfortable right now."

 

Maybe just try to get her to understand that it's not so much the lack of sex (although I'm sure that's a big motivator) as the inconsistent message she's sending you. That it makes you feel as though she doesn't care about your feelings and she makes hollow promises that she doesn't intend to follow through on. Then ask her to explain why she doesn't feel comfortable enough with you to share something so intimate. (not "why won't you have sex?") But that you thought things were going well, and you would like to take it to that next level, and don't understand why she doesn't. Just ask, and see what her response is. If she tells you she doesn't know... and she can't give you any insight into what's wrong, or what's causing her to want to keep that barrier up, then you might want to think about ending the relationship. But she might really have some concerns or problems that are legitimate, adn that can be worked on to create a really strong, great relationship by resolving.

 

Guess it depends how much you want to invest in this girl. And how well the two of you can communicate what's goign on in your heads. You have to ask, and she has to communicate. Otherwise, you're both just wasting each others time.

[Walk]

Every sane mature guy can tell the difference between real NO and no. And yep NO to foreplay is a stop but its not what we are talking about.

In the US, I've heard of numerous girls who will immediately go to the hospital after an encounter as you described and get a rape kit down on them. My friend got put away for rape for doign that very thing. He's sane. There's nothing insane about him... She said no.. but he thought it was the "dreamy no" so he kept going.

 

All I'm saying is... pushing past no (even if you think the girl wants it) can still send you to jail the next day. Save yourself the headache, and if the girl puts up even the slightest resistence, just walk away.

 

One instance of getting your jollies off is not worth the lawyer fee's and court costs you could potentially face afterward. Just do yourself a favor and walk away from any girl that says no, no matter how she says it.

[josie54]

the reality is that I have been very patient, Ive told her I care for her, Ive It baffles me that anyone would think that. It's not like I'm telling her "***** me or get out!"

Some of you *****ers are really demented.

 

I can't see how my attempts to offer you honest advice and the female perspective on your question are in any way "demented." I tried to tell you that while you can only feel accepted by her by having sex with her, she obviously feels accepted in other ways. So any pressure (even if it doesn't seem like pressure to you) is not going to work. She's working on a different frequency than you are--yes, she may even be "playing" you. Who knows? You won't know unless you ask her to be honest and you both talk it out. If she's not willing to talk it out, you have other problems besides sex. If you two have such different ways of communicating, you may simply not be compatible.

 

Talk to her about this, ask her to be honest with you. If you're both honest, you can both know whether you two have compatible goals, means of communication, and sexual drives. If you don't, it doesn't matter how much you care for her. It's not going to work.

 

That's the best I can do. Sorry if that makes me seem demented. I'm sorry I even tried to help in the first place.

[DanielMadr]

In the US, I've heard of numerous girls who will immediately go to the hospital after an encounter as you described and get a rape kit down on them. My friend got put away for rape for doign that very thing. He's sane. There's nothing insane about him... She said no.. but he thought it was the "dreamy no" so he kept going.

 

All I'm saying is... pushing past no (even if you think the girl wants it) can still send you to jail the next day. Save yourself the headache, and if the girl puts up even the slightest resistence, just walk away.

 

One instance of getting your jollies off is not worth the lawyer fee's and court costs you could potentially face afterward. Just do yourself a favor and walk away from any girl that says no, no matter how she says it.

 

Thanks for advice, really. I understand concept of date-rape and I also understand the concept of use of non-physical force....when she is in your place and OK with whatever and then suddenly changes her mind for whatever reason (power struggle most of the time) but she is afraid of consequences of declining. But most of the time you can tell. Rape is not about lust it is about the power, ego etc. 7 out of 10 girls will hesitate when you slip of their panties.....because they are not that easy and they should say at least 'no' it puts their responsibility away. Immature maybe but thats how it is.....girls are told that sex is dirty afterall.

 

How to avoid jail? Watch carefuly if she is relaxed and OK then she can tell anything. Make sure she is sober. Make sure she is fully satisfied and not abandoned afterwards. Thats it. And ofcorse make sure she is not b1tch....that one would sue you even for dirty look.

[Melissa221]

I haven't read all of the responses here but to the OP. I sound a lot like your girlfriend- I"m 28 been with three guys (the last one before my present bf I was with for almost 4 years.) With the first guy I slept with he waited a little over a year and a half to have sex with me.

 

The 2nd guy I waited only 12 days! He was a friend first and it was just pure lust between the two of us. The last guy (and my current bf) I made him wait about five or six months. This was a guy who was used to women "putting out" on the first or 2nd date.

 

We did do oral and one in awhile hand jobs after just a month of dating so it wasn't like we weren't doing anythign sexual. Yet I didn't want to have sex with him. When I look back even though I felt emotionally close to him and he had told me he loved me I Just didn’t feel like giving him my body that way (even though I jumped the guy before him after only 12 days and three dates!!) because of the way he constantly talked about how he “wanted to bang me” and how he bragged about all the other women he’d “had” and how they all gave it up within a few weeks.

 

He never told me the line about 100% intimacy but he just couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let him go all the way. It was because I felt he was too demanding, begging, he constantly asked me if we could have sex and if I said no not yet or didn’t want to he just would ask the same thing a few days later. It was like his ultimate goal was to get into my pants and it was just such a turnoff.

 

Also if my bf told me I gave lousy bjs or complained about what we WERE doing that would just make things worse. It sounds to me that your gf has no intention of sleeping with you until you lay off. My advice would be to stop mentioning sex to her all the time and stop pressuring her because your attitude is turning her off. When my bf stopped making sex such a big deal and started treating me with more respect and not just as a “piece of ass” then I eventually felt comfortable enough to have sex with him.

[crazy_grl]

Thanks for advice, really. I understand concept of date-rape and I also understand the concept of use of non-physical force....when she is in your place and OK with whatever and then suddenly changes her mind for whatever reason (power struggle most of the time) but she is afraid of consequences of declining. But most of the time you can tell. Rape is not about lust it is about the power, ego etc. 7 out of 10 girls will hesitate when you slip of their panties.....because they are not that easy and they should say at least 'no' it puts their responsibility away. Immature maybe but thats how it is.....girls are told that sex is dirty afterall.

 

How to avoid jail? Watch carefuly if she is relaxed and OK then she can tell anything. Make sure she is sober. Make sure she is fully satisfied and not abandoned afterwards. Thats it. And ofcorse make sure she is not b1tch....that one would sue you even for dirty look.

 

:sick: I think I'm going to throw up... Guys like you are the reason girls hesitate to have sex. It's not about a power play, sex being dirty, whether you'll respect her even if she doesn't have sex, or whatever else you think is in women's heads. It's about avoiding sleeping with guys who are this disgusting but put up a decent front.

[DanielMadr]

:sick: I think I'm going to throw up... Guys like you are the reason girls hesitate to have sex. It's not about a power play, sex being dirty, whether you'll respect her even if she doesn't have sex, or whatever else you think is in women's heads. It's about avoiding sleeping with guys who are this disgusting but put up a decent front.

 

Can you please tell me what is it that disgusted you?

You probably read something else or you were just halucinating.

 

Girls who are avoiding sex because of the guy himself (oh yeah that pure evil Daniel for example) say 'NO'. Others who dont see the guy (probably not me, because I have horns and I stink of sulphur) so repulsive say 'no', and some say 'YES' or 'yes'. !!!The power struggle etc was meant for the 'no' category!!!

 

If you are nasty because I wrote about some manipulative beahaviour which girls are cappable of and which is hidden to most of the naive guys, shame on you. Or maybe you are upset because I have penis and you dont or you think that girls are always saint whatever they do and boys are always the horny bad ones fighting, raping, fornicating etc. and to mention anything bad about girls is a sin. Or you were offended by thought that someone would shatter the concept of 'NO'. Shhhh dont tell them that 'no' is not always 'no'.

 

If you feel like to insult someone in the most harmful way(hoping), please be my guest but dont do so under false accusation. Telling someone those lines you told me tells a lot about your own character, so next time be more cautious.

[DanielMadr]

When my bf stopped making sex such a big deal and started treating me with more respect and not just as a “piece of ass” then I eventually felt comfortable enough to have sex with him.

 

....He finally started to act like a man, not a needy whiny boy. That was your goal? Congratulations.....sexploitation works

 

I doubt if he has more respect for you. I think you just excersized your sexual power over him. And now because he wasnt able to find someone else became your slave.

 

You know, men respect women for other reasons. We dont say....'Oh she hold me by my blue balls the whole year....I think I am in love with her and I respect her so much I would raise her children'. We say to ourselves....'Oh she is so shy, she probably has some defect' or 'Oh she is playing hard to get a little bit too long...she praize herself so high like she wants to make me think she is a princess of Persia'

 

Sad truth is....when he started to lose interest in you, you gave up. I personally hate these games.

 

Look, I understand it is repulsive to be needy (some naive guys call it to be straight). I dont understand why not to dump him at a spot and instead humiliate him.

[bigmil]

It seems I've sparked off some interesting discussions. Many of you have offerred me very productive adivice and I appreciate that. This weekend I got pretty close to having sex with her - I used Walk's advice and didn't talk at all about sex. It worked pretty good but I still didn't get laid. She still has that tampon in due to the bleeding from her depo-provera shot.

I did establish something though -- I asked her if the only thing at this time holding us back from getting down is the bleeding thing and she said "yes".

So as far as I'm concerned as soon as that is over with I'll have sex with her. If, at that time she has another excuse then I will just break up with her. There's too many fun, beautiful wonen out there that want a complete relationship.

[bigmil]

"

I don’t take you seriously because your grammer shows you have no attention to detail so therefore I assume you are not the best person to give sound and thoughtful advice.

 

Don't use your nationality as an excuse for being the type of person that you are. I don't like what you are saying I find it rude and lacking in moral character not to mention just plain offensive. I posted earlier having a jellyfish stuck up the crack of my butt… that is the feeling I have every time you post something that pertains to this subject.

 

 

Umm, I'm curious scammy, how many languages besides English do you speak?

I learned Spanish as an adult and I can tell you it is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. The fact that this guy can speak another language other than his native tongue is likely an indication that he is smart and has exposure to a varied array of social situations. (due to the fact that he has lived his life cross-culturally)

People sometimes wrongly assume that non-native English speakers in some way are cognitively deficient in relation to native speakers. Your comments suggest that's how you think. It's not accurate --and it's also rude to suggest that.

Personally I commend him for learning our language and attempting to communicate with us native speakers. Cut him a break and give him some credit for doing something that is incredibly difficult.

[DanielMadr]

Umm, I'm curious scammy, how many languages besides English do you speak?

I learned Spanish as an adult and I can tell you it is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. The fact that this guy can speak another language other than his native tongue is likely an indication that he is smart and has exposure to a varied array of social situations. (due to the fact that he has lived his life cross-culturally)

People sometimes wrongly assume that non-native English speakers in some way are cognitively deficient in relation to native speakers. Your comments suggest that's how you think. It's not accurate --and it's also rude to suggest that.

Personally I commend him for learning our language and attempting to communicate with us native speakers. Cut him a break and give him some credit for doing something that is incredibly difficult.

 

Thanks for support. Actually Im trying to learn the language better by posting in forums like this.

 

If I may give you one more advice about your problem. As you said....No mentioning of sex. Make it spontaneous. If she insists on not havig proper intercourse even when hot, try to comfort her telling her she and her body is pretty etc, shes maybe too self-aware or there is more serious trauma in which case you cant help not being sexuologist.

Girls dont like needy guys (they hate to have power over them)....they simply dont respect them...they respect and love those who are not so much in "love" with them. Sad but true and after all even logical - because it signals to her, that you have higher social status than her (you can walk away).

 

Make some shaolin monk training....then when you dont want the sex...you have it plenty

 

And for girls...guys have 5 times more testosteron so after 4 months without sex its like two years without sex for you....imagine.

[Green]

DanR brings up a good point some times girls say no and mean yes. its very rarely that a girl says lets have sex. Its a sad reality but some times when your a guy you run into the girl who is saying no but means yes and im not talking about raping a girl here just to clear things up...

[SmoochieFace]

And for girls...guys have 5 times more testosteron so after 4 months without sex its like two years without sex for you....imagine.

 

Well, it wouldn't seem like 'two years' if those guys had other things going on in their lives besides being obsessed over sex.

 

Gotta channel that pent-up energy into other activities such as sports, etc. Sitting around on your ass whining about it will indeed make four months seem like two years.

[crazy_grl]

DanR brings up a good point some times girls say no and mean yes. its very rarely that a girl says lets have sex. Its a sad reality but some times when your a guy you run into the girl who is saying no but means yes and im not talking about raping a girl here just to clear things up...

 

Sorry, but I think if a girl really wants you, she'll say yes. If she's saying no, she's either not comfortable with it or she's playing games with you. If she's trying to play you, why not forget her and go find a girl who's not like that instead of playing into her game? Why not just take a girl at her word and not risk pushing yourself on a girl who doesn't want to but is afraid of saying no again after you didn't stop the first time she said it?

 

When people try to convince young guys that all girls are trying to play them, that creates a angry, hostile feeling (which with some individuals can lead to rape) instead of a feeling of understanding. The hostility toward women apparent in DanielMadr's post along with the "no doesn't always mean no" does make a person start thinking "rapist". Quite frankly, the things he said are pretty scary.

 

Some college websites have some information about how these types of attitudes from men lead to rape. A couple I found were from MITand KSU:

http://web.mit.edu/cp/www/acqurape.htm

http://www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/rape.html

 

From the MIT site:

 

"When men believe that "No" does not mean no, that they are supposed to be aggressive, that they can lose control if they are led on, that women often "ask for it" and that they are confused by conflicting cultural messages, it is not surprising that they are shocked if they are accused of acquaintance rape. The feeling that aggressive behavior is normal is one that some men fool themselves into believing."

 

From the KSU site:

"Myth: When a woman says "no" to sex, she really means "yes." Women want men to force them to have sex.

 

Fact: In a study of college male attitudes about sexual coercion, Sandberg, et al. (1987) reported that 74 percent believed that when a woman says "no" to sex, she really means "yes.~ This belief seems to be used to justify the use of violence and aggression to obtain sex. When a woman says "no," that is what she means. Women do not want to have sex against their will."

[moredeborah]

maybe she has an STD?

[lighthouse]

I have so resisted posting on this thread but here I go. 4 months (OP)? Forcing her (Daniel)? No No No No No.

OP - I just recently started seeing a guy and I imagine that he will expect (your words) sex after a couple of dates. Tough. I like sex, a lot. I also like turtles, a lot. BUT I dont own a turtle and I don't see sex as a NEED. I mean, come on, are you the guy in high school that said "you know, if you don't get me off it could kill me?" I am not trying to be rude to you but you don't deserve her - even with her "social status." Would you rather be with a girl that screwed every guy that came along? Grrrr..

Daniel - I am 30 and have been with less that 10 guys (NOT multiplied by 3). I don't have an STD but, although I am a very sexual person, I don't want to get nailed by every guy that comes along. I don't even want to sleep with every 50th guy that comes along AND I don't want to be with a guy that thinks "you can just get a prostitute." No means no. Not dreamy, not drunk. If I say no on any topic I mean NO. And I am not the b**ch you talk about girls being. I just know what I want and am dam* picky about it. You should be also.

I can't wait until you both have daughters and come home crying because a guy didn't believe NO or, god forbid, didn't want to sleep with every guy that wanted to "get his rocks off (whatever you said)."

I don't doubt that you care about her OP. You just care about you more and that, right there, would be enough to turn me off.

Signing off now.

Demented (according to some),

LH

[Island Girl]

And for girls...guys have 5 times more testosteron so after 4 months without sex its like two years without sex for you....imagine.

 

 

Perhaps you do not understand the basic differences between men and women.

 

One of those is women have more of an emotional attachment to sex.

 

Men can have sex with a woman and not feel a thing emotionally.

 

There are times when a woman is simply a receptacle to you. - And there are girls you care about.

 

I have dated LOTS of men. Most of them I did not sleep with. There are only a select few who got to that level of intimacy with me.

 

Notice I said intimacy. This means I knew them well enough to REALLY care about them and they cared enough about me. This kind of intimacy would be very rare after 4 MONTHS.

 

How well do you KNOW someone in 4 MONTHS??? Not very!

 

Had I subscribed to your theories of relationships I would have slept with over 60 guys by now. Instead, there has been less than 8 including my husband.

 

I love the way you think about things:

 

"I spend time with you and talk to you. That is intimacy! I don't care if it is 2 weeks or 2 months, that is intimacy! -- I want sex - and IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO WANT TO AND NOT GET IT. I am a guy and I have needs. YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF MY NEEDS" and being so obtuse that you don't even understand that would be putting YOUR 'needs' ahead of OUR OWN. No self-respectable woman would do that and certainly not after knowing you for a few months.

 

Or, and Daniel this IS MY FAVORITE, "If you don't, I'll go have sex with someone else."

That is REALLY TELLING of the actual level of intimacy you feel for a particular woman.

 

You make my point so easily for me I'm sure the other posters out there get where I'm headed...

 

We are lego pieces to you - completely interchangable.

 

And because we don't immediately jump into bed with you we are somehow using sex as a weapon or have some political agenda. RIDICULOUS.

 

What about the truth?

 

I know I'm going to have to explain it for you.

 

That is, we have enough respect for ourselves to not allow an invasion of our bodies and emotions just so some guy can "get his rocks off".

 

We have enough self-esteem to see all of us as valuable, not just our sexual parts.

 

We have enough intelligence to know we are not RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR 'NEEDS'.

 

We are not put here simply for your amusement or pleasure to do with whatever you want whenever you want.

 

WE HAVE OUR OWN NEEDS that we prioritize before yours.

Sadly men that think like you DON'T know how to meet them.

 

 

So again back to what you posted:

And for girls...guys have 5 times more testosteron so after 4 months without sex its like two years without sex for you....imagine.

 

That is YOUR PROBLEM not OURS.

 

If you can't control yourself physically, that is YOUR PROBLEM.

 

If you get out of control because of it and do something like date rape some girl then you go to jail.

 

If you can't handle getting all worked up but not getting any then don't get all worked up.

 

A MAN can control himself.

 

A MAN wants the woman to feel just as comfortable and secure as she must to surrender herself completely to him.

 

If you have never had sex like that -- IT IS THE MOST WORTHWHILE EXPERIENCE EVER. Talk about fulfilling! Wow - animalistic, sensual, wild, slow, it is ALL of it. And talk about creating willingness in the woman, I'll go back for that again and again as much as I can - and I'll wait for that man FOREVER if I have to. THAT is what a MAN wants with his woman.

[DanielMadr]

Sorry, but I think if a girl really wants you, she'll say yes. If she's saying no, she's either not comfortable with it or she's playing games with you. If she's trying to play you, why not forget her and go find a girl who's not like that instead of playing into her game? Why not just take a girl at her word and not risk pushing yourself on a girl who doesn't want to but is afraid of saying no again after you didn't stop the first time she said it?

 

When people try to convince young guys that all girls are trying to play them, that creates a angry, hostile feeling (which with some individuals can lead to rape) instead of a feeling of understanding. The hostility toward women apparent in DanielMadr's post along with the "no doesn't always mean no" does make a person start thinking "rapist". Quite frankly, the things he said are pretty scary.

 

Some college websites have some information about how these types of attitudes from men lead to rape. A couple I found were from MITand KSU:

http://web.mit.edu/cp/www/acqurape.htm

http://www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/rape.html

 

From the MIT site:

 

"When men believe that "No" does not mean no, that they are supposed to be aggressive, that they can lose control if they are led on, that women often "ask for it" and that they are confused by conflicting cultural messages, it is not surprising that they are shocked if they are accused of acquaintance rape. The feeling that aggressive behavior is normal is one that some men fool themselves into believing."

 

From the KSU site:

"Myth: When a woman says "no" to sex, she really means "yes." Women want men to force them to have sex.

 

Fact: In a study of college male attitudes about sexual coercion, Sandberg, et al. (1987) reported that 74 percent believed that when a woman says "no" to sex, she really means "yes.~ This belief seems to be used to justify the use of violence and aggression to obtain sex. When a woman says "no," that is what she means. Women do not want to have sex against their will."

 

Look, you cant blame me for some girls saying 'no' meaning 'yes'. I just wrote it. I also wrote to look for multiple signs etc.

 

Guys capable of rape is what? 3%? My piece of information will not make them rapist.....I put difference between social-conditioned 'no' and simple 'NO'. Frustration, emotional and/or sexual make them rapist and they are sick people, they would find other excuse.

 

Portraiting all women as victims and guys as potentional rapists is bad policy, making boys looser wimps and girls insecure phobia driven wrecks.

 

I think both gender deserve sincerity.

 

I agree with you...he should dump her.....but not everyone is so lucky that women are asking him for sex and even then there is room for social-conditiened shyness.