Ladywithafan Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 As of course can be expected, I went home, threw the phone bill at my bf and asked what the hell is going on? To him, it was no big deal. He doesn't accept the notion of emotional infidelity...so I took the matter into my own hands for my control. I called the girl left a very nice message to the tune of my bf likes to frequent chat lines, you aren't the first and you won't be the last. It's not on you, he's the one that started it. and I hope you have a nice time talking to him in the future. My bf just called me, pissed off and told me I had no right to do this, I beg to differ. If this is the end of my relationship, so be it. My emotional health is more important that staying in a relationship with someone who abuses my intimacy. It's going to be tough, and I'm going to hurt but what about my feelings? Was my bf wrong to be mad at me for interfering? Thoughts?
a4a Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 This sounds like a lost cause, pack it in on this R and move on. He is pissed cuz you busted him......... :lmao: :lmao: Made him out to be an ass that he is to this woman. He was indeed doing a EA correct?
Author Ladywithafan Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 This sounds like a lost cause, pack it in on this R and move on. He is pissed cuz you busted him......... :lmao: :lmao: Made him out to be an ass that he is to this woman. He was indeed doing a EA correct? ...A free number where you, I guess listen to people and call them to chat...I'm not into this and have decided to not even listen...it doesn't interest me. As far as I know...he started with her on 10/2 as that what was on the phone bill... One of my friends told me now, I'm playing pscho bitch but I don't feel that I said anything wrong...I just layed it on the line...I called on my cell..she has that in her caller id...I didn't say anything more nasty than you're not the first and you won't be the last...which I would say sums up my bf's behaviourl. I would say calling chat lines when you have a SO could lead to an EA? I feel he's a selfish person that doesn't take my feelings into consideration...pissed at me? Well, I guess I gave them both something to think about... Maybe this is his way of getting me to break up...who knows..we've been together since Feb 2000.... I wonder if his drug abuse has altered his mind so that he really doesn't know good from bad anymore.
elijahBailey Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 If he's on drugs, it's hard to talk to him like he's a level-headed person. I think bailing out may be the easiest option for you. Is it difficult for you to leave him?
a4a Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 nice on drugs, and if I remember correctly you pay the bills and keep a roof over his head........he is driving your truck? If I remembered correctly about the facts above he has a lovely way of showing his appreciation. Bail.
Author Ladywithafan Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 If he's on drugs, it's hard to talk to him like he's a level-headed person. I think bailing out may be the easiest option for you. Is it difficult for you to leave him? Bailing is about where I'm at...and it sucks all the way around.... He lives with me, so he will be the one to move out. Apt. is in my name. I'm no angel, I've partied with him, but, I don't "enjoy" drugs like he does. I.E. for him it's an escape from reality...for me, it was just for fun, but just for fun got me into the last six years of hardship from custody issues to blowing through my alimony/child support...but I pulled myself up & out & have worked steady for the past two years at a great job. Unfortunately the pay is not as great as the job but I can support myself by myself as he tends to be a drain on the funds anyhow... I think the difficulty in splitting up has been a fantasy I've harbored that he will have a light bulb turn on over his head and wake up. Unfortunately, my fantasy is not becoming a reality. It just hurts so much emotionally. You want to trust someone yet, that's not happening either. I've been divorced since 2006...classic doctor's wife story, got the nurse pregnant & I divorced him, he married her and I ended up with what seemed like a great boyfriend but it's Dr.Jeckyle/Mr. Hyde. He always says he's not like my husband but I think the actions speak otherwise. Sometimes I feel like bailing is the answer but other times, my self esteem goes down and I get scared.
Author Ladywithafan Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 nice on drugs, and if I remember correctly you pay the bills and keep a roof over his head........he is driving your truck? If I remembered correctly about the facts above he has a lovely way of showing his appreciation. Bail. ...I drive my own truck...yes, he has a very strange way of showing affection.... I need help in bailing...
elijahBailey Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Bailing is about where I'm at...and it sucks all the way around.... He lives with me, so he will be the one to move out. Apt. is in my name. That's tough. Is it possible for you to kick him out without any drama? Will he get violent and stuff? Sometimes I feel like bailing is the answer but other times, my self esteem goes down and I get scared. Sometimes the most "correct" thing to do is the toughest thing to do. It never ceases to amaze me how women ( and sometimes men ) can put up with abusive, manipulative people, or even people who just take advantage of you. And they are able to take advantage because they are counting on the fact that you wouldn't dare bail. I can see why you're fearful that your self-esteem will go down. But that's about all that I could understand. What I'm sayin' is .... you're bringing in the money, you're provide a roof for him. I mean, c'mon, you're not a shelter for addicts you know. There are institutions for that. Don't you have friends that you can lean on at this point of time? Going thru it alone is scary, but not if you have some close girlfriends, or, even better, people who's gone thru the same thing that you're going thru now. Keep us posted. ps. you don't need to use Italics or Bold. We hear you just the same without
Author Ladywithafan Posted October 20, 2006 Author Posted October 20, 2006 I can see why you're fearful that your self-esteem will go down. But that's about all that I could understand. What I'm sayin' is .... you're bringing in the money, you're provide a roof for him. I mean, c'mon, you're not a shelter for addicts you know. There are institutions for that. Don't you have friends that you can lean on at this point of time? Going thru it alone is scary, but not if you have some close girlfriends, or, even better, people who's gone thru the same thing that you're going thru now. Keep us posted. ...who have told me that I can lean on them...they are aware of the situation and there for me which helps a lot. It's not that I fear my self-esteem will go down if I leave him; it's been just kind of fluctuating as I deal with the emotions of the present time. He does give me $ now, that he's working, like a normal person, but the past was just a mess with him. Nope, not a shelter for addicts, you're right... Will keep ya posted...it's Friday, hope to have a quiet day at the office & looking forward to a halloween party tomorrow evening at my friends house. BF will not be attending with me and there will be nice, normal people at the party!
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