bigmil Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I would say 2-3 months is good in order to have a healthy start. Im a guy -- I tend not to respect a girl that sleeps with me right off the bat. Not making a judgement call on those those that do -- for me it's more of an involutary judgement and the relationship never really works out long term. Right now Im dealing with this same issue -- I've been seeing this girl for 4.5 months and she's not putting out. It's now having the opposite effect of making me feel rejected. So I would say for me there's a window of 2-5 months when you should have sex. after 5 months he'll prob break up with you. Before 2 he won't respect you unless he's promiscuous himself then he prob won't care when you have sex.
bigmil Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now and we are waiting until marriage. So, IMO, there is no "right time" to have it unless you're married. Reading about these people who have done the deed after only a few dates makes my respect for them drop and my questions of their morality rise. Im a Christian. The views you are expressing here are wrong. They are not Christ-like. Christ embraced ALL people -- even prostitutes. Read about his interaction with the woman at the well. Christianity is not about applying your values on others --it's about expressing love. I reccommend that you examine your own morals. You are being legalistic and centric-minded by claiming that your personal morals represent a "correct" moral standard. Grow up.
Celeste_Craftenstein Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Im a Christian. The views you are expressing here are wrong. They are not Christ-like. Christ embraced ALL people -- even prostitutes. Read about his interaction with the woman at the well. Christianity is not about applying your values on others --it's about expressing love. I reccommend that you examine your own morals. You are being legalistic and centric-minded by claiming that your personal morals represent a "correct" moral standard. Grow up. I never said I did not accept them. I just do not agree. Perhaps you should "grow up" before talking down to someone.
crazy_grl Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 To Crazy_grl and amaysngrace, Hmm if your proud of your sex without commitment views.Celeste's post wouldn't bother you one bit and you would embrace her post,her differant view point and be proud she's not following the crowd on this thread.I see by your post that you can't handle her post. I think you jumped to quite a few conclusions about what I way saying. I've got no problem with her viewpoint. She's free to think or to say whatever she wants (as I said in my initial reply to her). I happen to highly respect people who will wait for marriage to have sex, and to a large extent, I agree with their viewpoint. I just wanted to give her some feedback as to why she's not being received positively and why her posts are being seen negatively compared to the other posts. She seemed to have made assumptions as to why people were reacting the way they were when it's possible that it there was more to it than that. While I agree with some of her sentiments, I feel that there could have been a better way to post her opinions, especially on a thread where the OP had specifically requested not to hear them. She's free to take my comments into consideration or not. Doesn't bother me what she thinks or what she says. She's the one coming across as judgemental, and if she's fine with that, then great for her. I just hope that others reading will realize that her words are hers individually and not respresentative of all people who feel they should wait for marriage. If she didn't intend to come across that way, then hopefully my comments will help her in changing her approach.
Green eyes Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Coming from a guy that has had alot of dates. I think that the 3rd or 4th is reasonable. I mean think of it like this. If you go out on the first date and you all end up having sex, wouldnt you think that this person has done this before. Now the second date should be reserved for the first kiss holding hands and maybe fooling around with him. Leave him wanting more. Establish the 3rd date then send the blue balled boy on his way home. This will not only drive him nuts but will let him know that you defenitly have some moral values. This will make that sex on the third date fantastic.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Falling for you, falling forever... I take it somebody here is an Amy Lee fan!
luvtoto Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Coming from a guy that has had alot of dates. Sounds like you date alot. If you decide to settle down with someone, would it matter if you had sex early or later on?
crzybeautifl88 Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now and we have not slept together. I don't think we will anytime soon either, he talks about wanting to wait...I don't sleep around or sleep with people very easily and I think that is what he is basing it off of. I'm comfortable with the fact that I haven't slept with him yet, but i'm not comfortable with the fact that he has set up a time frame (waiting at least 3 months) It's so hard for me to tell him that even though i'm not slutty I still enjoy sex....It's hard not being seen as a sexual person. Anyways I rambled pointlessly.......I don't think there is a perticular time when it's okay and not okay to sleep with somebody. The right time comes when your ready adn your comfortable with doing it.
Green Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 I went on what I would call our 3rd date yester day and we were making out and and I tested the waters with the full on groping of the boobs and putting my hands down her pants a little, she had her hands under my shirt. now when I take her out on this 4th date I would really enjoy some sex
lexilas Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 Seems that you were considering you posted that after I did. Sarcastic smiles don't work for me either. I believe that since everyone else seems to be making judgmental comments about when is the correct time, that mine should be equally accepted. I respect individuality, but am surprised by the lack of agreement with my post. THAT IS ALL. Lecturing me about being "open minded" and "growing" is very shallow of you. Perhaps condescending someone makes you feel better. But I am not here for a flame war. All this arguing could have been avoided if you paid attention to the original post where she specifically asked for the type of opinion you've given NOT to be included.
candyksses4u Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 I think it all depends on both of you and the chemistry between you both, everyone is different. My current boyfriend I've been with him for almost 3 years and the first time for us was about a week or 2 after we started dating, Me personally I don't like to rush into it. But like I said everyone is different and is you both feel that it is right then go for it. Maybe females tend to stray away from the subject in fear of being called some sort of name which isn't fair...Good Luck!
kjl933 Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Depends. Unless there is some mega chemistry--first nighters are usually one nighters. Probably even the second night. I would say depending on all sorts of circumstances, anytime after the third date things could get intimate, but as a guy, if I am into a girl, I have no problem waiting as long as it takes. And on a lighter note....I heard that women are not so sure of their own "rules" and often times on the first several dates will wear the big ol granny panties and not the sexy little thongs or bikinis. THe reasoning is that by having them, she is sure as hell not gonna let a man see that. It is more of an incentive to keep her on good behavior. An older couple were sitting at the table one morning and the wife all of a sudden slaps her hubby and knocks him off his chair. He asks "What the hell was that for?" She says, that is for having a small penis. He pauses, looks at her and slaps her back. She says, "What the hell was THAT for?" and he says "Knowing they come in different sizes."
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 I went on what I would call our 3rd date yester day and we were making out and and I tested the waters with the full on groping of the boobs and putting my hands down her pants a little, she had her hands under my shirt. now when I take her out on this 4th date I would really enjoy some sex What my stud muffins went to the store and brought some more muffins?
DanielMadr Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Hi, 3 dates is maximum, that is 6 hours together in sum. By that time you should be able to eliminate freaks. So if you are not sure after that...there is a problem, you are not probaly so much in to him/her. But you were asking about minimum time.....if I am sure she is not freak immediately we can have sex the same night we have met. I wont think she is a slvt. It is retarded cliche. I would be honoured that she was sure of me so soon. If she is waiting too long, it is like she has some doubts about me. Slvts are banging lot of guys too early and too often. No girl becomes slvt sleeping with me. I know its pretty common to wait a little bit...not to appear easy, but its sometimes too obvious and lame. Like I said. One hour of sober chat, then kiss and then its okay to have sex if its okay with her.
luvtoto Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Well, I got some this weekend. Third date and all!! When he showed up at my house, he *gave* me a cell phone (fully charged & packed with prepaid minutes) and a neck rub thingy that I enjoyed from last weekend for me to keep. So...I felt safe with him, and decided that having sex with him was only going to enhance what we are starting to have!
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 I hope to be going on my first date EVER next month and i hope i DON"T get none for awhile.
amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I think it's a matter of choice. And it ultimately comes down to levels of comfort. If someone is uncomfortable being pressured into having sex with someone before they're ready, that's not going to work out too well. If waiting till marriage is the utmost sign of respect to some, then by all means they should wait. No need to go against your beliefs to go with the grain, so to speak. Of course, maturity levels need to be considered before ever engaging in sexual intercourse. And some are just not really mature enough to handle all that a sexual relationship entails. Personally I like having sex. I would have sex 24/7 if there were no other responsibilities placed on me. I prefer to have sex early on in a relationship rather than waiting, simply because I enjoy the act. Luckily I've found partners who appreciate my desire for pleasure and I've never been disrespected for enjoying what is only natural. Nobody is right or wrong in their opinions...we're just different. And we most likely attract members of the opposite sex who are best suited for ourselves as a result. It's all good.
magichands Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I would have sex 24/7 if there were no other responsibilities placed on me. Which football team do you support?
amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Which football team do you support? Very funny. I don't watch football. I can't seem to understand people screaming at a TV and high-fiving each other because some guy caught a ball or made a tackle. Isn't that what they get paid like a million dollars a year to do? I should hope they'd do a good job with the salaries they earn. But hey...that's just me...
Kamille Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Very funny. I don't watch football. I can't seem to understand people screaming at a TV and high-fiving each other because some guy caught a ball or made a tackle. Isn't that what they get paid like a million dollars a year to do? I should hope they'd do a good job with the salaries they earn. But hey...that's just me... Besides, football would only take away from all that valuable nooky time...
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