Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 This is quite a tale...I have been with my husband for a total of 4 1/2 years. we dated for 3 and have been married for 1 1/2. I recently filed for divorce because since we said our vows he has treated me differently. He constantly complains that our marriage isnt like everyone elses in the world because I work full time and an unable to do all the cooking, cleaning etc (wife duties) alone. He drinks too much...everyday actually. and this just increases his anger and he continually starts fights. I think he may be bipolar due to the signs and symptoms he presents acting one minute like dr. Jekyll and anothe like mr. hyde. I filed for divorce when it looked like his antics were turning physical instead of only verbal. not to mention this happened in front of my 6 yr old daughter from a previos relationship and scared her like crazy. I filed only to get him to leave the home, so I could move back in with my little girl after living at my parents home out of a suitcase for over 3 weeks. ANyway, he left and immediately hired a lawyer. He has been out of the home for about 1 week now and has decided he likes things better out of the home so he has no responsibility and less burden as he calls it on his shoulder. the original plan was to go to counseling together, which he blew off for a lawyer appointment. anyway, i made the counseling and the counselor after hearing my story told me to get out now...My husband has now decided that due to being under less stress not living with me he thinks we were better when we dated...less pressure, responsibility caussing him stress etc. and he wants a divorce, but wants to go back to being boyfirend and girlfriend, when things wer awesome between us. I would ike that too, however do not know if it will work. I have heard even from attorneys, that this is very common among divorced people who are still totally in love. if a divorced couple does not have a desire to be with anyone else and still loves each other, just were not maritally compatible...please offer any advice. Am I crazy to try it, either way I will be divorced and seperate doing my own thing. I will see him because I want to, not because I have to and he cannot take his domestic stress out on me for I will have no responsibility maintaining his new home...Or am I simply blinded by love and afraid to get hurt again so I will stay with him instead of meeting others...
tikigods Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 you need to get out NOW! there is no excuse for being abusive in any way shape or form, and even more so in front of your daughter. You are teaching her very bad lessons in relationships
anna13 Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 He sounds so immature , ( so did my H when he left) all about not wanting to deal with stress ect , but your H is alrerady you XH and since he is your XH , you should move on . any Abuse is something you dont want to stick by because it usually ( more then less) escalates.( spelling?) . even if there wasnt abuse it sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too . obviously he is still attracted to you and wants you in his life , this doesnt mean he Loves you but dating leaves his options wide open . If you are wondering if you can work things out with him again , I would not see him anymore, and see how far he is willing to go to be with you . and if he does persue you tell him what he needs to do . Anger management , therapy ect. If his feelings are "deep" for you he will do what it takes. if not, his care is shallow and self serving I think. just listen to the song "When a Man Loves a woman " it will remind you of what kind of Love you want in your life. anyway , this is just my opinion and I hope it helped.
LakesideDream Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Sounds like it's time to "move on". The relationship was short, the guy is threatening..... As they say... "three times a charm"?
Gunny376 Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 And, he has exactally what that the other 3.5 billion other men in the World don't have?
Guest Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 This is quite a tale...I have been with my husband for a total of 4 1/2 years. we dated for 3 and have been married for 1 1/2. I recently filed for divorce because since we said our vows he has treated me differently. He constantly complains that our marriage isn't like everyone else's in the world because I work full time and an unable to do all the cooking, cleaning etc (wife duties) alone. He drinks too much...everyday actually. and this just increases his anger and he continually starts fights. I think he may be bipolar due to the signs and symptoms he presents acting one minute like Dr. Jekyll and another like Mr. Hyde. I filed for divorce when it looked like his antics were turning physical instead of only verbal. not to mention this happened in front of my 6 yr old daughter from a previous relationship and scared her like crazy. I filed only to get him to leave the home, so I could move back in with my little girl after living at my parents home out of a suitcase for over 3 weeks. anyway, he left and immediately hired a lawyer. He has been out of the home for about 1 week now and has decided he likes things better out of the home so he has no responsibility and less burden as he calls it on his shoulder. the original plan was to go to counseling together, which he blew off for a lawyer appointment. anyway, i made the counseling and the counselor after hearing my story told me to get out now...My husband has now decided that due to being under less stress not living with me he thinks we were better when we dated...less pressure, responsibility causing him stress etc. and he wants a divorce, but wants to go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend, when things were awesome between us. I would like that too, however do not know if it will work. I have heard even from attorneys, that this is very common among divorced people who are still totally in love. if a divorced couple does not have a desire to be with anyone else and still loves each other, just were not maritally compatible...please offer any advice. Am I crazy to try it, either way I will be divorced and separate doing my own thing. I will see him because I want to, not because I have to and he cannot take his domestic stress out on me for I will have no responsibility maintaining his new home...Or am I simply blinded by love and afraid to get hurt again so I will stay with him instead of meeting others... "we were better when we dated...less pressure, go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend, when things were awesome between us." MANY PEOPLE WOULD SEE THAT AS A STEP BACK BUT I WOULD SEE IT AS A HUGE STEP FORWARD. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU BOTH JUST HIT A ROUGH PATCH AND 'RETURNING' TO A STYLE OF RELATIONSHIP WILL HELP YOU BOTH REGROUP AND RECAPTURE THOSE AWESOME FEELINGS SO WHEN YOU ARE BOTH READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP AGAIN [AND I THINK YOU BOTH DO] YOU WILL BE WISER, STRONGER, MORE ABLE TO MAKE IT WORK.
Recommended Posts