Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 i have been broken up with the ex for 1 year and 3 months and i am still not over him. i feel like he was the one for me and if the circumstances had been different we would not have fallen apart. it was a tug of war. i tried to break up with him, he tried to break up with me, then i made him leave. things were different after that. he didn't cheat, but he did break my trust. i feel like we had a connection. every day i go on with my life, but in the back of my mind i think about him all the time. i move forward, i smile, i do things with my life, but i always remember him. we email, sure, maybe every 20 days or so...don't want to appear too eager to write to each other. i even tried talking to a psychic once. if only i could read his mind. i don't speak of him to anyone bc no one wants to hear about it, but writing this brings tears to my eyes. you hold everything in for so long and one day you just burst. how can he act like he doesn't care? how can he not want closure? how come he doesnt want to be with me? in the back of my mind I think he loves me and he is waiting for a couple of years until he thinks I have matured or something and then he is going to call me up again. we met online. he is going to be moving back across the country next summer. he moved here to be with me in 2002. we broke up july 2005. we lived together the whole time. if only i knew what he was thinking, but i never will, will i? j
phyrespryte Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 how can he act like he doesn't care? how can he not want closure? how come he doesnt want to be with me? Well you told him to leave. I think that's closure and probably why he doesn't try to be with you. Why did you make him leave if you didn't want him to?
shawn_68 Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 I think you need to have an honest heart-to-heart talk with this guy. Find out if there really is a chance to make this work if that's what you want. You don't want to be stuck here. And hoping for something that will never happen is wasted time. Time that can never be retrieved again. And time that you could be spending on someone that you could actually have a future with. So find out. Forget the pride. Forget the power games. Just talk to him.
Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Well you told him to leave. I think that's closure and probably why he doesn't try to be with you. Why did you make him leave if you didn't want him to? I made him leave because he stole from me and he wasn't treating me right. I found out on my birthday of all days. I kept hoping he would get better. He would be nicer and have some empathy, but he never did.
Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 I think you need to have an honest heart-to-heart talk with this guy. Find out if there really is a chance to make this work if that's what you want. You don't want to be stuck here. And hoping for something that will never happen is wasted time. Time that can never be retrieved again. And time that you could be spending on someone that you could actually have a future with. So find out. Forget the pride. Forget the power games. Just talk to him. I don't even know if he would meet with me or anything. I honestly think that he is just trying to make himself busy and forget he ever knew me. I know he is hurt, but he acts like he is doing really well. I know I don't really have a problem because my life has not stopped. I dated one other person since he left, but I haven't found the chemistry and bond that I shared with him and that I miss so much. We both had problems, but I think he is too stubborn to ever open up. The times I have emailed trying to work things out he emails back and completely ignores what I wrote or just doesn't reply at all. Other times, he is really mean to me, but I don't think it's real. I think he is trying to be mean to protect himself. That is what I have to believe I guess.
LakesideDream Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Have you considered that he may have actually moved on, and has no feelings, good or bad toward you? You said "it's what you have to believe"... well the old adage "If it walks like a duck" is in play isn't it? It's your turn to move on now. Keep "pretending" and it will become a behavior, then a habit... finally a reality. If there really is hope.. it has to come from him. After all you kicked him to the curb.
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