mark1210 Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Hey Gang... It's been awhile...just wanted to find out what you all would have done in this situation: The story: Girl 23 moves to my city doesn't know anyone, after 2 weeks of dating her I find out she was engaged in the past and was broken up for 3 months now. However, I find out he is still trying to contact her and making up all sorts of excuses to reach her. At first I it bothered me, but the more I think of it the more it seemed like a deal breaker. Her and I had plans for Tuesday night...she loves steak so I made reservations for a fancy steak place for 8:30. At 4:00PM she calls and tells me she can't make it, she forgot she was going to have to visit her family an hour away. At 4:30 she calls and says on second thought she will not go there and join me if I am still ok with it. I told her I didn't cancel the reservations yet, so sure. 6:00 rolls around...she has to goto the mall and run errands so she may not be able to make it. 6:30 rolls around I cancel the reservations. 7:00 comes and she tells me she can now make it. I told her I cancelled the reservations. She said she would still come over and hang out if I thats ok with me. I said sure, my place at 9? and those were the plans. At 8:30 she calls saying she forgot her neice's birthday and couldn't make it at 9. She will be by for a few minutes when she is done. She did come by for a few pointless minutes just to talk and then left. Long story short, she flaked out 3 times...I probably should have just cancelled after the first and made plans with my friends but I didn't. But when you couple this with less than 2 weeks of dating, an ex fiance that won't leave her alone and her being new to the area it paints a bad picture. I called her today and told her that at this time I can't be with her. She got mad and said I was using her...we didn't have sex, we did fool around. Whats even more odd is that later today she txt'd me saying "Was the fooling around not good?" How weird is that?
bluechocolate Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 But when you couple this with less than 2 weeks of dating, an ex fiance that won't leave her alone and her being new to the area it paints a bad picture. Agreed. Whats even more odd is that later today she txt'd me saying "Was the fooling around not good?" How weird is that? Very. Like she can't make the connection between the ex-fiance & her dicking you around? Then she gets mad & accuses you of using her after dating for only 2 weeks?? You should consider yourself lucky, you got off easy.
Sand&Water Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Reply: Whats even more odd is that later today she txt'd me saying "Was the fooling around not good?" Exceptional work! This woman knows how to make a man, spin around himself. She is pretending to not know, what is going on in the situation. As a result, she decides to change the subject, and place focus on an aspect of the courtship that is totally irrelevant. She is, seriously, running away from something. Whether it be a personal, or relationship issue. I suggest, you give her alone time. IF you are into her, set up a date and inform her you do not like women who flake. Set your standards. Regards, Sand&Water
Island Girl Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 She is so completely mixed up - my guess is she forgot how long it took her to get her ex in a state of confusion (when she has pulle dthis on him, he scrambles) and started treating you the same way she has treated him for a while. You wonder why he keeps contacting her? Imagine how mushy his brain is after dealing with HER for so long and getting so twisted he actually wanted to MARRY her. Whoa buddy. I feel sorry for him. As far as the text, if you wanted to be blunt, you could text back - "Not good enough to put up with your flakey azz. C-ya!"
Author mark1210 Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 I was very clear with her on how I can't stand dishonesty or people who flake out. I guess I should just cut my losses and move on. It sucks because we clicked well. But the ex in the picture after 3 months doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
gfto Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Her and I had plans for Tuesday night...she loves steak so I made reservations for a fancy steak place for 8:30. At 4:00PM she calls and tells me she can't make it, she forgot she was going to have to visit her family an hour away. At 4:30 she calls and says on second thought she will not go there and join me if I am still ok with it. This is where you got off track. Women with high interest level don't cancel dates. At this point, you should've politely said, "Sorry, I already made other plans. Gotta run." Click. And then proceed to flush her number. I told her I didn't cancel the reservations yet, so sure. 6:00 rolls around...she has to goto the mall and run errands so she may not be able to make it. 6:30 rolls around I cancel the reservations. 7:00 comes and she tells me she can now make it. I told her I cancelled the reservations. She said she would still come over and hang out if I thats ok with me. I said sure, my place at 9? and those were the plans. At 8:30 she calls saying she forgot her neice's birthday and couldn't make it at 9. She will be by for a few minutes when she is done. She did come by for a few pointless minutes just to talk and then left. She was just jerking you around. You shouldn't have even answered any of these calls/texts/whatever. This ex-fiance who is still chasing her isn't relevant. She dumped him, because she lost interest in him. He doesn't realize that, so he's still chasing after her. But, that doesn't mean she's interested in you either. I'd definitely cease all communication with her and find a different one!
Author mark1210 Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 gfto, Yeah I made a mistake there... But from what she claims, he dumped her...she bought her own ring and his ring. Etc. Whats odd was the 3rd date she comments on wanting to move in! I just pretended like it never was even said and ignored it. I need to quit meeting girls online..seems to be a disaster everytime.
Kamille Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 gfto, I need to quit meeting girls online..seems to be a disaster everytime. Darn. And here I was hoping you'd pick me next!
Author mark1210 Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 Darn. And here I was hoping you'd pick me next! LOL...trust me with my luck..you wouldn't want me to =P
Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Reply: Exceptional work! This woman knows how to make a man, spin around himself. She is pretending to not know, what is going on in the situation. As a result, she decides to change the subject, and place focus on an aspect of the courtship that is totally irrelevant. She is, seriously, running away from something. Whether it be a personal, or relationship issue. I suggest, you give her alone time. IF you are into her, set up a date and inform her you do not like women who flake. Set your standards. Regards, Sand&Water hey mr/mrs sand n water u seemed 2 b pretty cool , would u like 2 b in touch with me , pretty sensible person
MadDog Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 gfto, Yeah I made a mistake there... But from what she claims, he dumped her...she bought her own ring and his ring. Etc. Whats odd was the 3rd date she comments on wanting to move in! I just pretended like it never was even said and ignored it. I need to quit meeting girls online..seems to be a disaster everytime. Yeah dude. The moving in comment on date three was a huge red flag. How long did she know that guy before she got engaged to him? 3 months? On top of that, she the flakiest person I ever heard of. How can you flake out 3 times in the course of one day? Time to next her. By the by, not to be discouraging but I was thinking about girls in the 23+ range and it seems like almost all the good ones (>98%) without issues are in a long-term relationship and the single ones are the ones with issues. If she's pretty and single, there's a reason why. My new philosophy on dating is to not expect anything except to find girls with issues and if I somehow find one with a good head on her shoulders, I'll consider myself in the minority. Cheers. MD
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