Guest Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Where do i begin? My boyfriend has a job as a bartender at a pretty busy upscale bar so he often gets home very very late. Well I have gotten used to his schedule and often I will wake up in the middle of the night and depending on which night of the week it is he is either home or not. Well about a week ago it was a Tuesday night (not a busy night at his bar) it was 4:30 am and he was not home and it freaked me out. Now I know some of you reading this are thinking oh no he's cheating but don't worry that's not it. I am not one of those girls in denial at all as far as morals and honesty go he is one of the least likely people I have ever met to cheat. Anyway lets move on so I freak out b/c it's 4:30 in the a.m. and he always tells me these stories about crazy drivers when he is driving home...etc. So I panic and I call the highway patrol and they run his name just to make sure he wasn't pulled over or in an accident, well his name had not been run so I knew he was probably ok but was still worried. Finally it was 6 in the morning and I decided to take a shower to get ready for work and thought hopefully he would get home while I was in the shower. 6:30 rolls around and in he strolls, apparently he and some of the other bartenders decided to stay after work drink and then he didn't want to drive so he stayed at one of his friends that lives almost across the street from his bar (his commute is about 35 minutes). I of course yelled at him and said that was NOT OKAY and he needs to call me if that's the situation, that I was worried and thought he was dead or something. He said he didn't want to wake me b/c I get mad when I get woken up which is true but I said I still dont' care in a situation like that I want a call. He agreed but didn't understand why I was sooo angry so we agreed to disagree on the issue but he agreed to never ever ever do that again. What do you know it's Sunday night and his friend has tix to the game, I asked him to be home by 10:30 pm b/c we had a huge day on Monday (for our company) and I didn't want him to be tired or hungover. he said he promised he would NOT drink and drive and would be home at a reasonable time. The game ended @ 9:15 and by 11 I had not heard from him so I called his phone and he answers saying he and his friend are going to this bar. I got upset and said he needed to get home we had a huge day planned the next day and that was way more imporatnat than partying. We sort of got into an argument and I eneded up hanging up on him. I fell asleep around 11:30 and I woke up @ 3:30 and what do you know he's not home. I call his cell phone and it jjust rings and rings and rings. So I stayed up until 7 am when I finally get a call from him. he and his friends got super out of control and got thrown in DETOX!!! Now the reason this is such a big deal is b/c he is not a loser, he's an educated man, smart, career oriented and I don't think DETOX is acceptable. Also at some piont he decided not to "get into trouble" by calling me and letting me know where he was (before he got thrown into DETOX). The reason he works as a bartender is b/c we have a fairly new company and although our company is bringing in revenue, we both still need supplemental income...anyway when he finally got released from DETOX he came home and I said i didn't know if our relationship could continue. I said it was not fair of him to do that to me, our company and himself. He promised he would never ever go out and not call again and not even a week later he did it. i am absolutely in love with this man and he with me, we have discussed marriage...etc. I feel like if I don't stick to my guns and leave just as I threatened that he will continue this behavior but I love him and can't imagine being w/out him....help!
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