Guest Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Hello, I am having a bit of trouble with a female I have known for a little more than a year. She is quite the girl, has the looks and personality to match, and I normally wimp out on talking to her when I happen to see her. I have only spoke to her for a bit about six months ago, this is when I was still exploring my options on who I liked at the time. We were playing a sexual game with a group of people, it was to cure boredom on a bus to some destination for college, and we were paired up a couple times during the game. We never really spoke prior and once the pairings were over and discussed. We had looked over at each other and smiled. (She disliked being paired up with another individual, not currently on the bus.) I believe that day is what sparked my interest in her for a while, now, I have not said more than a word to her since. She happens to be a year older than myself and hangs around a semi - popular crowd. I havent really gone out of my way to know any of her click, yet, some of her friends I know quite well. I am satisfied in my group of people, basically jocks. I hang around a few basketball players, golfers, and tennis players. I play tennis myself. So my social standard is well off, and I believe I could have a decent chance with her if I happened to work up enough courage to communicate with her. That is the problem, actually talking to her. I tend to see her in between classes and whenever I walk passed her, I tend to see her glancing at me, attempting to make eye contact for a second or two. Yet, being the shy person that I am, I never acknowledge her. I am too nervous. I normally have my eyes fixed on an object far ahead, looking passed her. If I do happen to grab eye contact with her, I would normally look away almost instantly. If I happen to be alone with her in a long hallway, walking towards her. I would look down at the ground as I walk, it would just be extremely akward making eye contact with her. In conclusion, I am too shy to confront her. (I believe it is a plus that she attempts to look at me in the hallway, and she knows my name although I dont talk to her. I believe that is showing some interest in me, yet, I am having trouble with exploiting it.) I have looked passed her way too many times and havent talked to her, that I believe if I just come up to her out of the blue and start talking ... it would be really akward and weird for both of us. I am just interested in a scenario in which I can start talking to her and get to know her. If there is any help towards this subject or dillema, it would be really appreciated. Thank you.
Guest Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Is there anyone who would be willing to give me some advice on this topic? Maybe on a scenario in which I can present myself to her or possibly if eye contact could mean possible interest.
basscatcher Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Get your manhood together and slow down when she approaches you, look at her and say hi to her. As you pass by her turn around and glance back for a moment. or even if she ignors you, start saying hi to her as you walk past. If she walks past you still say hi even if she isn't noticing you.. She may just start a convo with you out of curiosity as to why you ignored her before!.. You have totally given her the impression your not interested in her.. If you are, then get your shioyt together and start saying hi to her every chance you get and add a little smile to it once in awhile. Look her in her eyes.. If you continue to have this type of social insecurity your going to have bigger issues later on..
basscatcher Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Even a breif eye contact with a shy smile at her as you are starting to look away while your putting your head down will give her a clue that your shy. (if she has a brain in her head and she's interested in you. )
Guest Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Thank you, I will attempt to do just that. In regards to the social insecurity, I am only insecure about her. I could stare into a persons eyes that I dislike or hardly know for hours. It is just something about the girl that makes me do this. Around people I know, or cute girls, I could stare and smile at them. It is a natural thing. It is only this specific person I am shy around. It will indeed be extremely akward to just out of the blue say hey to her, I mean, I havent said a word to her for so long. Why would I all of a sudden say hey to her now? Would you suggest wait for a while until a situation presents itself in which I can start the cycle? or just straight up say hey? I believe if I just start saying hey to her, it will come naturally each time. It is just the start that is odd and akward.
basscatcher Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Your procrastinating now. Just get it out of your mouth... When you cross paths with her say' HI". I wouldn't over kill it if you cross paths with her a bunch of times each day. Thats overkill. At other times look at her and give her a little smile. Evenually, one of you will start a conversation. If its awkward go with it. You can apoligize for being awkward... I'm wondering if that little game, being paired up, that made you aware of her was sort-of intimate in a way. Where the both of you were able to connect on a deeply level then just meeting in a different enviroment and having the usual small talk chit-chat to get to know one another? Anyway, Don't stall off. I think you've done that long enough. If she ever asks you what took you so long to wake up -just tell her you didn't know how to approach her or what you would say to her. and YES, its ok to admit you were nervoius and a little afraid she would reject you..... It's alright to admit our weaknesses and faults as long as we don't use them to prey on someone and seek their sympathy for selfish reasons. Go for it..... Always acknowledge her if she is acknowledging you. If you don't you will be showing her you aren't interested and rejecting her.
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