Guest Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I could use some input on this situation. On Sunday, I woke up with a bad cold--sore throat, low-grade fever, the works. My boyfriend of about nine months asked me to go home right away (we were at his place) so that I wouldn't get him sick. When I got upset, he defended himself by saying that if he were sick, he would go home to make sure that he didn't infect me. I understand his point, as he works two jobs and can't afford to lose any time at eitiher. At the same time, I felt hurt that instead of just asking me not to touch him, or to make sure I coughed into a tissue, washed my hands frequently, etc., he actually wanted me to leave. Am I being too hard on him? Or was he being a little cold (pardon the pun)? Thanks for any thoughts you can offer.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 You should have sneezed in his face hands free, and then furiously left the premises. I bet in a couple of hours he would have called you back and apologized. I wasn't there to here the tone of his voice, so I can't really judge him. I thing you will both get over this after a good fight.
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I completely understand where you boyfriend is coming from. You two don't live together, he didn't want to catch what you had seeing as he has two jobs and can't afford to take time off. I think he was being wise. He said he'd do the same for you, he'd leave if he were at your house and woke up sick. These days with all the yukky stuff flowing around out there, it's a good idea to just be careful. At the same time, I felt hurt that instead of just asking me not to touch him, or to make sure I coughed into a tissue, washed my hands frequently, etc You can still catch something, even with the handwashing, etc... You can't expect him to look after you when you're sick until you two live together. It would be wonderful if he didn't feel as he did, but hey, he was honest and upfront with you - Don't be too hurt, k. He was just worrying about catching a cold from you.
Guest Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 By the time you've got symptoms, you've already had the virus for a while and have shed it. So it's already too late. He'll either already be immune to the virus or will get it. Either way, shoving you out the door was pointless.
dgiirl Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I can empathize with both your points, and this is one of those situations you both need to compromise and put yourself in the other's shoes. I know you felt rejected, and you are hurt. Is there any way he could have worded it differently for it to be acceptable by you?
littlekitty Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I completely understand where you boyfriend is coming from. You two don't live together, he didn't want to catch what you had seeing as he has two jobs and can't afford to take time off. I think he was being wise. He said he'd do the same for you, he'd leave if he were at your house and woke up sick. These days with all the yukky stuff flowing around out there, it's a good idea to just be careful. You can still catch something, even with the handwashing, etc... You can't expect him to look after you when you're sick until you two live together. It would be wonderful if he didn't feel as he did, but hey, he was honest and upfront with you - Don't be too hurt, k. He was just worrying about catching a cold from you. I agree with this! I live with my SO, and if I had the flu or something, I'd probably sleep in the spare room as well just to avoid him catching it as much as possible. I don't think he was mean, just sensible.
bluechocolate Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 By the time you've got symptoms, you've already had the virus for a while and have shed it. So it's already too late. This was my understanding too. Once you're symptomatic you've already done the spreading, as it were.
IpAncA Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I don't think that its personally or anything. He just doesn't want to get sick too. No one does.
Ripples Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Ooo, I've had a really similar experience. I guess what would be nice is if they showed they cared along with the "please leave". Maybe something along the lines of "Let me get you some LemSip/Asprin/whisky to take with you."
Spiderman Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I could use some input on this situation. On Sunday, I woke up with a bad cold--sore throat, low-grade fever, the works. My boyfriend of about nine months asked me to go home right away (we were at his place) so that I wouldn't get him sick. Very compassionate. The truth of the matter is he's probably p*ssed because you're not up for doing anything fun and he doesn't want to sit around 'nurse maiding' you. It personally wouldn't worry me, if you get ill you deal with it.
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I agree with this! I live with my SO, and if I had the flu or something, I'd probably sleep in the spare room as well just to avoid him catching it as much as possible. I don't think he was mean, just sensible. My hubby and I do this now. If one of us is sick, the healthy person sleeps in the guest bedroom. There's nothing wrong with that either. I mean, if he is sick and making his 'sick' noises, , I really don't want to hear it and sleep beside him! Also, he'll sleep better alone. Again, don't take it personally! I'm sure in afew days when you're feeling well again and in a better frame of mind it won't hurt you like it did that night.
Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Thanks to all of you who responded--your feedback helped me to put the situation into perspective. My boyfriend and I have talked about what happened and (mostly) worked through it. I really appreciate hearing from everyone!
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