how do you say bye..

[tekratel]

Hi

 

Trying to figure this out but it's doing my head in.

 

I've been with my partner for six years, we've got three kids 4,2 and 1. We have had a really tempestuous relationship with loads of arguments that upset the kids, and it's very much the dynamic of the relationship.

It's gotten to the point where I've just fallen out of love with her, am not happy and can't see a future in it and don't want to look back in ten years and think why did I stay. I've told her how I feel but she can't accept it and wants us to carry on and for me to love her again - I don't think I can. Then out of the gloom I met someone who sets me on fire and it's not even a physical relationship, totally platonic but we have so much to say to each other and makes me happy.

I want to make this break, but my partner keeps blacmailing me with threats that she'll kill herself, won't let me see the kids other than for a couple of hours a week, she can't live without me and once she even said she'd kill them all if I left. What position does that put me in? I have to go back because I couldn't bear not to see the kids or even think they may be harmed. I'm just getting so stressed about it and don't know what to do for the best.

ANy advice gratefully accepted

[everlong]

omg. that's a horrible situation. frankly, everyone should be allowed to make their decision - if u want to leave this woman - u just do. u are not responsible for them. unfortunately u have kids so that will be tough.

 

i do have a suggetion tho. u say u have told her - and she doesn't accept it. well, that is too bad for them - you are allowed to leave a relationship. the key is two hold - i am assuming u have said so, stated it clearly and face to face, and if the other person still does not accept that then the next step, and trust me, this always works - you say that to her again - but this time, don't do it in a one-on-one setting. you say it, when you are almost common friends or family - and that will get thru. do so gently. but having an comforting support group - always takes the weight off u. she/he would be too embarassed to continue.

 

hope that helped. best of luck

[FELIZE]

SHE SAID THIS?

"but my partner keeps blacmailing me with threats that she'll kill herself, won't let me see the kids other than for a couple of hours a week, she can't live without me and once she even said she'd kill them all if I left"

 

And You're still with her?? What is YOUR problem???

Wheather she ment it or not, I wouldnt take too kindly to ANYONE (not even jokingly) claiming to harm my children.

She needs psychological evalution & You need to do what's best you... sooner than later!

[a4a]

I would tape her threats and take them directly to the police.....

[burning 4 revenge]

I'd talk to a family lawyer and get sound advice.

 

You don't want to fool around with a situation like that.

[Jodie]

OMG She threatened your children, won't allow you access, get a lawyer fast find out your legal options on how you could gain full custody with supervised visitation. No sane women would ever say something like that about the greatest loves of her life.

[Jodie]

Tekratel,

 

I went back and read your posts, I am very confused.

 

Did you leave your partner for another woman:

 

"So, I'm here, in love with this girl I don't love my partner"

 

or Did your partner leave you?

 

"'I've been through it a couple of times, the last one really broke my heart. Together for five and a half years, get engaged and then within a month it was I need space, it's not you it's me, "no there's no-one else", and all the other stuff,. It took me an age to come to terms with it thinking how I could possibly get her back, how I could bump into her and have a chat - it might reignite the spark - was she thinking about me how I was thinking about her etc. etc."

 

And if you don't mind me asking how old is your xpartner?

 

Take Care