Peppermintpatti Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 We have been together for 4 years and now he can't "find time" to see me. Always some excuse after another. Now the phone calls have slowed down, we always talked a few times a day, now lucky to talk to him at all. I came right out and asked to you want this relationship to be over? Just tell me and I will walk away. Never got an answer. He calls when he wants, answers my calls when he wants, I don't get it....
stillhere Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Sounds like he is distancing himself from you, which is a hint for you to move on. He doesn't want to be the bad guy and break up with you, so he is waiting until you do the job yourself. Is this guy your MM, bf, what? 4 years is a long time to spend with someone, and then just quit talking to each other. Sounds like he is pretty immature as well. Do yourself a favor and get rid of him. You will find someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Sounds like he is distancing himself from you, which is a hint for you to move on. He doesn't want to be the bad guy and break up with you, so he is waiting until you do the job yourself. Is this guy your MM, bf, what? 4 years is a long time to spend with someone, and then just quit talking to each other. Sounds like he is pretty immature as well. Do yourself a favor and get rid of him. You will find someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. My G/F of almost 5 years started doing the same thing. If you hang around, they will keep playing games until it drives you insane. Usually it means there is somebody else in the picture, but at the very least it means they are trying to get you to leave so they don't have to do the dirty work. It really sucks, but it's what you've got to work with. Good luck!
Author Peppermintpatti Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 He is my MM we both have spouses, we don't expect nor even mentioned asking the other one to leave. I had an accident went into the hospital and after that I felt treated like I had leporsy. I been reading the other posts and do the NC and than after 3 or 4 days he calls for a couple days than don't hear from him. I am scared to death about loosing him but came right out and asked do you want to end this and I never get a answer. This has been going on for 2 months. Finally friday I mentioned something about not seeing him for ages and than he says we will soon. Than drops out of sight again. SO did the NC thing since friday and he called today and thought I would give him a dose of his medicine and never took the call. Is it out of sight out of mind thing here? I just don't get it.
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 This is the problem about having relationships on the side. Your heart wants to be his number one, but realistically you know that really cannot happen. Doesn't stop it from hurting, right? Well, the only way you can stop your pain and stop him from using you (yes, he is using you, infact you both are using eachother, filling in needs that your spouses are not filling at home) is to just END IT. Think of your husband. Do you love him? Could you picture your life without your husband? If he found out about your affair, would he forgive you or leave you? You have ALOT to lose, especially if there are kids involved.
alphamale Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I don't get it.... once your self esteem resurfaces then you'll figure it out.
Author Peppermintpatti Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 His wife did find out about me 3 years ago and moved out for 10 months and than moved back in knowing quite well I was still in the picture. We have been thru alot together and we both never left each other when the chips were down. Sure wasn't my husband getting me thru my daughter being seriuosly injured and in a coma it was my MM. My husband was to busy. And it wasn't my husband who told me evrything would be ok after I lost my job after 12 years it was my MM. SO yes emotions run high here, thats why I don't get what is going on. My self esteem is just fine I survived falling down the stairs in july and a result having my kidney removed. That i can and did deal with just fine, this situation blows me out of the water. Just venting......
stillafool Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 I think your affair has run it's course. I also think you having your kidney removed freaked him out. Anyway he probably wants to mend his marriage or he could have another OW. That's the problem with cheaters they may cheat on you too. I would leave him alone and work on your marriage because that's probably what he's doing.
Author Peppermintpatti Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 Yepo thats what I have been thinking all along, he freaked out. Only thing I can come up with Nothing else makes sense. Why would that freak a person out? I am the same person, can still function normally not catchable, and dont look like frankstein did the surgery. Same person minus a body part.. Any opinion is greatly appreciated.. So at least i understand....There is no OW that i am positive on..
GuestImHere Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 MM will tell you anything to get you to a) stop nagging b) leave him alone c) hear what he thinks you want him to hear. Something could have happened at home where he really is busy, but for right now you have to give up hope. NC means not picking up the phone when he rings everytime he rings. You heart can't take it. Can your kids, your husband? Be stalwart about NC, but first you have to decide to end it at least because of you. Havent you been through enough already with kidney implants and surgery? Are you sure there has not been another D-day?
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