Shoestring Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Hi all I haven't posted for a while - since June. My MM and I have been hot and heavy all this time. Some of you will remember there has also been competition from Jaws (another co-worker as well). I truly believe he was only sleeping with me, but he always had this emotional connection to Jaws. I got a transfer so she wouldn't be my supervisor, and she transferred out of her job six weeks later to be a direct report to him. Would you believe it?? We have slept together 4 times per week, and would go more if we could get together. We just about made a year, but I called it quits tonight. Why? - for the following small reasons but they scream big warning signs. I gave him some fruit in tubs which I asked him to return when he had finished so I could recycle them. He did return the tubs, and gave them back to me in my office. However I forgot to take them home as I had put them in a cupboard. I put them out on my bench as a reminder. He saw them and asked me to hide them so Jaws wouldn't see them. He told me that she saw them first thing Monday morning in his office and wanted to know who they were for. He told her a lie(!!) and said they were for some guy who had an orchard, and he didn't want her to see them in my office and know that he lied (so what else is new). Why he didn't say none of her business is beyond me. He also organised a morning tea this morning. Told me about it, but told me I was not invited because he didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about us - in other words Jaws. She was invited but I wasn't. He told me I would get first pick of the cakes and I told him not to bother. If he had I would have taken them down to Jaws and slapped it into her face . It was the last straw. Remember, he called it off for 3 weeks in April this year because she was sent a copy of a personal email from him to me and she went ballistic about it. The ironic thing is that we slept together yesterday, he must have phoned me at least 8 times during the day, called in numerous times and spent the last hour talking to me in my office and then walked me down the stairs holding my hand. Had the morning tea this morning and didn't see much of him. I think yesterday may have been because he was feeling guilty. I really don't know anymore, but I have gone beyond caring. He still walks Jaws to her car - she still hangs back till 5.30pm waiting for him. I have seen them but never asked. I think his actions have spoken loudly. She will always be number one and I felt like a third class citizen. Time to stand up for me. I feel quite OK at the moment so hope this strength continues. Wish me good luck but I am hoping I don't need it.
Freedom Now Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I say this with no malice: You are a booty call to him. He has shown you that you are not even Number 2 in his life....you are his third choice after Jaws. Not only is he hiding his relationship with you from his wife, he is hiding it from Jaws. It can't make you feel good. And, so what if you sleep with him as frequently as you do? I have a friend who is in exactly the same position as you and I have repeatedly told her to cut him off sexually. Just yesterday, I told her that again. She looked at me once again, blinked at me as if I had not made any valid point whatsoever and told me that stopping the sex is just not an option.... She, too, will be destroyed by this man in her life, as I have heard that he is dating yet another woman from another department. He simply doesn't respect my friend. She is a warm body for him. Nothing more. And your MM doesn't respect you. Wake up. Walk away and STAY AWAY. This man does NOT respect you. And without respect, there is no love. You deserve more than this.
PoshPrincess Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Freedom is right. There was a guy in an office I worked in a few years ago when I was childless but not single. He gave me a lot of attention and as things were unsettled in my R I was seriously flattered. We exchanged a few flirtly emails and even went out for a quick drink one night. He tried to kiss me at a company do but I managed to relent (mainly because my partner at the time was there!) We arranged to get together another night but that same night he was busy flirting with one of the other women in the firm and ended up going home with her (he was engaged to be married at the time). He still had the front the following week to ask me where I went to that night! By that stage I realised I would've been just another notch on his bed post! Anyway, I am so glad now that nothing happened. He married soon after, they had a baby and from what I have heard he has been sleeping with his secretary too (who married just before him!) since becoming a father, and maybe other women that my friends and I have yet to hear about. What an a**hole! To think I could have assisted in him behaving like that. A lucky escape! I suppose what I am saying is that some men enjoy the flattery that comes with having as many flings/affairs/whatever you want to call them, as possible. You're better than this! Let Jaws have him. She is welcome to him. Put it down to experience and move on. Find yourself a decent, single bloke who respects you for what you are, not what he can get out of you!
NoIDidn't Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 The other posters are right. He has no respect for you. But let's not completely blame him. Respect yourself and your body more than you have. The frequency of sex does not a relationship make. Don't be surprised if some of the guys in the office start sniffing around you. No telling what he will say about you now that you cut him off. Chalk it up to experience and make sure not to make the same mistake again.
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