loveinlife Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 OKay this is what happened today while I was at work. My ex message me asking me how I was doing? I didn't respond back to her as I know that I don't need her anymore. She then later on asking me in a second message to go out w her. She is going to pick me up this time...which she rarely did even when we went out. It is strange but I also want to see what she wants. GL with everyone!
bchlvr Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Loveinlife- This is confusing. Your ex contacts you. You decide not to respond because you are over her and don't wish to continue contact? If so, fine, but then what is this curiosity really about? Are you sure you are not still harboring feelings for her? If you are, your curiosity about what she wants is understandable, but why feed that curiosity and risk a set back by seeing her? what has happened in terms of no contact since your breakup?
jerbear Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 OKay this is what happened today while I was at work. My ex message me asking me how I was doing? I didn't respond back to her as I know that I don't need her anymore. She then later on asking me in a second message to go out w her. She is going to pick me up this time...which she rarely did even when we went out. It is strange but I also want to see what she wants. GL with everyone! If you don't need her or want to continue contact with her then don't reply to her. Get rid of curiosity, curiosity can be bad in some situations. If she gets annoying, calls more often, or shows up, then by all means set her straight and tell her to never contact you again. If she messages you put her in the ignore or spam filter. The phone sms messages are a little harder; but you can always get a new phone and number. Have a friend screen your voicemails and delete them; if she calls, leaves a message or you are unsure of the message. Your friends would understand. How long has it been? if you are curious and really want to know; I would not agree to having her pick you up; but meet at a neutral place you both can get to.
KittenMoon Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Well loveinlife- What did she want? Don't leave us hanging, man.
Author loveinlife Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 Thanks for everyone's feedback. This why i Love you guys/girls. Yesterday, my ex messaged me again saying that she can't make it to see me because she has an exam for her graduate school on Monday. I thought I wouldn't be affected by her cancellation bc I know I can't depend on her, but it got me sorta mad. I was mad that she was playing these games and I allow it to happen. This is what I think, after seeing her w her new bf(which she says they are no longer together), I believe she wants to see if I still cared about her. Perhaps she liked my attention. In another message she told me that maybe we can hang out again next time. I try to do complete NC, but bc this woman meant so much in my life awhile back, it is hard to not see what she wants. I am confused and try not to let this bother me. Thanks for everyone's response. ;D
Rooster_DAR Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Her fantasy is running out of steam, she is looking to you for a fallback. She now realizes how badly she **cked up. Cheers!
johnnytable Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I try to do complete NC, but bc this woman meant so much in my life awhile back, it is hard to not see what she wants. This is *why* you must do total NC. Its because she meant a lot to you and she still does. You need to break away from her and move on without her. When she contacts you and you accept contact, it is for her benefit and at your cost. It is causing you pain and makes you wonder. Stop the contact and stop wondering. Contact makes your ex feel good and makes you feel bad. No contact makes your ex feel bad and makes you feel less bad... with a hope of feeling great! My ex phoned me up a few weeks ago (after 2.5 months of NC) and I deleted the VM without listening to it. Was this hard? Sure! Do I still wonder what she wanted? Sometimes. Would it have been more difficult if I had listened to the message? Of course it would! I would still be thinking about it now. It would have made it even more difficult to not respond. Hang in there.
Recommended Posts