chocolate_boy Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Hi guys... I'm crazy about my girl and we just spent a weeekend together, and yesterday she went back home, lives about an hour away. At midnight she called me to tell me she was missing me so much it hurt... we chatted for about 15 mins about what we'd been up to, sex talk etc. lots of sweet flirting and how much she loved me, then we got chatting about what we were doing tommorow, and i have to give a presentation in the monring about a subject I don''t know much about, and she's really good at, we ended up chatting about that for an hour almost, her giving me loads of good advice, she just talked at me for an hour.. then at the end of the conversation said "i dont miss you at all now". We ended the call. She then text me to say she wanted affection and she felt really loved up til now, and she feels like getting affection elsewhere. I left it a few mins then tried calling her again, she was in bed and said she was too tired to talk. I feel really ****ty now, i know i ****ed up, talking shop with your girlfriend when she calls at midnight for some affection is bad.. she seemed happy to help and i was panicking about this presentation, and now with her help i will deliver it superbly. I feel depressed as hell, have i screwed up bad? I hate the fact that she has gone to bed feeling nothing for me now and before she was missing me... we're not gonna see each other for at least a week now. I really wish i'd never answered the phone, maybe i should avoid late night calls, at least she'd still miss me then eh?
burning 4 revenge Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Either she was joking, or she's stupid, or she's crazy. Hope that helped, B4R
Author chocolate_boy Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 Well i can sort of see where she was coming from, she'd missed me and we hadn't spoken all day, then when she does call i just talk about work to her for an hour... not really very affectionate is it... she is actually down, she text before she went to sleep saying she hated feeling like this and she just feels sad now, and liked missing me actually. I did ruin the happy loved up feeling she'd had all day by being boring and work orientated, we're still a new relationship... I'd like to hear some femal views on this?
the_alchemyst Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I don't see why she should be upset. I understand that you're saying that she was feeling kind of blue beforehand, and that she was calling you to see if you could "cheer" her up in a way by being affectionate and understanding during a time when she was feeling bad, but . . . I wouldn't be mad. If anything, I would have felt a lot better knowing I was able to help "you." And besides that, I would have also felt better because you would have helped me ease my mind of my problems. So, to me it would be like: I'm sad, let me call my hunny. He's talking about work. I care. Let me listen. Oh look, I can help him. I try to help him. He appreciates it. I stopped thinking about my problems for a while and did something really good: I helped my hunny. I feel a lot better. I'm happy. But that's just me. Why do you have to wait a week to see her, though? I mean, if she got upset, and if you feel you did something wrong (although I don't really think you did, unless she was upset over something really important and you knew beforehand that she was), apologize to her by telling her you didn't mean to be insensitive or to hurt her feelings. Just tell her you really didn't mean to and that you don't want to make something big out of something small. She should be okay unless she's just really, well, selfish. (Because you have to realize that just as she was feeling blue, you were also, given the frustruation you had with the pending presentation.) But what do I know? Not much. ...
Author chocolate_boy Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 Yeah it just seems to me i blew it this time and should have kept the conversation short and sweet, said good night and gone to bed feeling loved up and missing each other, now i just feel heavy hearted like we've fallen out. She sms me saying "i just wanted to hear ur voice and for some affection not to talk work for an hour.. i hate feeling like this makes me want to look for affection elsewhere..but use that 20 sec piece i told u about hope it helps u owe me, nite" It was then I called and she just was giving me one word answers, she has big problems talking about her feelings usually, so fact that she told me she missed me was actually first time she did! She usually bottles them up, and she just seemed really distant on the phone, one word answers, talking really quiet and sounding sad. I didn't want to be clingy or pander to her to turn me off more, i said " u ok? i didnt want us to fall out, i appreciate ur help..." she went "ok." i said "talk to me baby" she said she was in bed, i asked her if she wanted me to go, she said yeah.. that was it. I'm just kicking myself a bit, we've only been together properly for less than two months, I don't want to play games, but i suppose i wasnt doing much toi generate that much needed attraction she was feeling so much of til we spoke, sort of killed the happy high she was on. We work in different cities, she's busy tommorow and wed all day and night, i'm working thurs night and on fri she's off to do some work in london for few days til tues, so gonna be at least a week til i see her again.. **** to think i've ruined the happy state of mind she had after our romantic weekend away. I feel i should just back off now, and maybe she'll feel differently tommorrow?
burning 4 revenge Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 How old is this woman? Does she have a high school diploma?
Author chocolate_boy Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 How old is this woman? Does she have a high school diploma? 20... she is young yeah. But i don't see that making out she's mental helps, it obviously upset her, so it is serious... i just didn't want to. This is bad for me as my presentation is in 6 hours now and i can't sleep as i feel bad. She'll prob just call tommorrow and act as if nothing happened, thats her usual style, she'll get annoyed if i bring it up, but it feels like it damages the realtionship deeper when stuff like this happpens. Really appreciate ur advice though guys.
the_alchemyst Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I'm mental and I'm 20 and I have a high school diploma. Anyway, I know the feeling of not being able to sleep because you feel bad over something that happened. Heck, I know it so well I turned into a vampire, really. Maybe you can drop off a note or something for her at her house, apologizing if you feel the need, or simply telling her that you, uhm love/like her or something like that. I like notes. But not ones with blood. Anyway, since you already called her, there's not much you can do for tonight, really. Just write something for her and give leave it for her whenever you have a chance or something. Judging from the last text she sent you, I don't think this will lead to anything major. She seems to simply be a bit upset right now, but I think she'll get over it. But I do think she is overreacting. Are you dating the female version of my exbf? (Try this: One night he called me to tell me he was going out with some friends/idiots, and that he would call me back when he got home. I said okay, but ended up falling asleep because I had been in school taking midterms nearly all day (9-6), and I was exhausted. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it. Finally, I woke up for no reason at around 12.30 am, and checked my phone, and saw he had called me twice: 11.30 and 12 something. I called him back and he was angry that I didn't answer even after I explained to him what had happened. He broke up with me for 1 month.) Yea. Okay. Is that mental enough? Maybe you should make some chamomile tea or something to help you sleep because you really need to so you can deliver a good presentation.
Author chocolate_boy Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 Wow your ex does sound pretty "special" lol. thanks for the advice. It's been five hours now since i spoke to her, i bet she's sound asleep, my presentation is in four hours... grr i have to be up in three, i give up trying to sleep now, gonna get up and have a shower. It does make me feel sad that total strangers were there for me and advised and supported me and not her too. Not looking forward to today, got a 10 hour shift at work ahead of me, and a friend's birthday tonight.. and i already feel exhausted.
allina Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 You could leave her a sweet e-mail saying that you appreciate her help and that it helped a stressful situation and that you love her. That could make both of you feel better, no?
Author chocolate_boy Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 Edit - she called me and apologied for being off with me last night saying she was just tired and grumpy... she misses me again ;-)
Recommended Posts