Summer2000 Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Hello, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am 100% done with my ex.. It finally clicked that we are over.. And yes it hurts, but I am moving on with my life.. Why should I chase a man that does not want me? Why should I reach out to him after he broke my heart? I did not do anything wrong and I was punishing myself.. I felt like I did do something wrong for him not to love me.. He sent me a e-mail today, a funny little e-mail, but I did not respond, I deleted the e-mail and I have no intentions of responding to him.. If he calls and I know he will I will ignore them.. I would love to say I would like to get back with him, but I know it could never work, as to much damage has been done now.. What's done is done and I can't change it.. So I am moving on.. As far as me wanting him to be my friend, well.. If he could not be a good boyfriend to me, he will never be a good friend to me, so what is the point of that? So I am 100% done.. And I am happy about that.. I think I will miss him, but I think that is normal. I just wanted to thank everyone that has helped me through this process and stayed with me.. I am so glad Loveshack is here, cuz if it was not here I don't know what I would have done.. Thank you all so much.. I guess it is better to have loved, then to never have loved at all! That is what my ex is missing, but not my problem anymore.. When he comes crying back and I know in time he will, I will have already have moved on and I will be able to slam the door right in his face, as he did to me.. Life can be tuff at times, but I guess it is a learning process.. Now I know what I don't want in a man... Summer
Confuggled_one Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 im glad you feel better.. keep this up and you will be foreverrr better.. good luck and congrats summers
everlong Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 congrats as well...i know its hard to do at the best of times..but be happy you have reached at point where you are sure u want to do that... i know u are angry and hurt right now..but try and start thinking positive thoughts as soon as u can...because everything always looks bleak when u are down. here is a really crazy idea...treat yerself to a day at the spa for making that decision and throw all that negative energy you have right now towards her away and do so by doing something positive that will help your heal better and faster. what u are experiencing now are just hurt feelings...and u know what? there is nothing u can do to change the past right? so, you have two choices - fill yer heart with hurt and pain - which will stay there a long time and actually hinder u in yer next relationship or you can remember the good stuff
shawn_68 Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Why should I chase a man that does not want me? Why should I reach out to him after he broke my heart? I did not do anything wrong and I was punishing myself.. I felt like I did do something wrong for him not to love me.. It was apparent to me in your posts that you were somehow blaming yourself for him not "loving" you. As if YOU did something wrong. Or as if something was wrong with you. You asked, "Why can he not have feelings for me after 1 year ..." The issue was not you at all. The issue was ALL him. He was consumed with his own lustful desires. Understand this point. The strong Summer has arrived!!! Very cool. One other point, more than likely, your feelings of being "over him" will come in waves. Mine still do of being "over her" and it's been much longer. There will likely be difficult days ahead. Expect it now and be ready. Remember how you are feeling now and what it took to get there. You may need it again. You ARE well on your way!!!
Author Summer2000 Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 Its pretty funny because now he keeps e-mailing me and I am not responding.. I have nothing to say to him as he does not deserve to know anything about me.. I am really done with him, I am done crying over something that was never meant to be.. This is his loss, not mine and I know this now.. Do I still love him... Yes I do, but I love myself more and I am done getting treated like a door mat.. I am sure with in time he will come crying to me, and at that point in time I can look at him and tell him he is out of luck, as I have moved on to new and better things in my life.. I know this is not my fault as he did not love me, this is his problem. I am a great catch and since he does not want me.. well I am someone else's gain..
Buttaflyy Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I'm so glaad to hear that Summer. Good for you! And even if you miss him remember this. He doesn't deserve your love. Kudos!
Author Summer2000 Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 Your right he does not deserve me! I am way to good for him! He made the mistake by letting me go and in time he will understand what a mistake he really mad.. As far as today he has already sent me 2 e-mails and I am not responding and I will not respond no matter what, so I just deleted the e-mails so I don't see his name.. I am really done.. I have 2 dates lined up for me for this weekend and I am very happy about that.. I am not looking for a boyfriend, just something to get my mind off my ex..
Author Summer2000 Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 okay, so today my ex calls me leaves me a voice mail to call him.. I waited a few hours and like a fool I caved in and called.. He asks me how I am doing, I tell him fine, he asks me if I will watch his dog for him in Nov when he goes out of town to see some buddies, like I a fool I say I would, then I tell him I have to go and he tells me okay sexy I will talk to you later... Do you think he misses me? Ugh, now I feel like crap again.. I miss him so much and I am getting mixed signals here.. Any input would be great.. Summer
shawn_68 Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Any input would be great.. Yeah, I do have some GREAT advice. Here it is: "Your right he does not deserve me! I am way to good for him! He made the mistake by letting me go and in time he will understand what a mistake he really mad.. As far as today he has already sent me 2 e-mails and I am not responding and I will not respond no matter what, so I just deleted the e-mails so I don't see his name.. "
Author Summer2000 Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 Good point.. Thank you I guess this is just kind of hard, I am trying really hard to be strong, but sometimes I feel like I just cave in.. ugh But you are correct, I need to just stay strong and live my life without him and move on.. thank you..
Buttaflyy Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Yes, it is hard but stick to your guns. Tell him that you won't be able to watch his dog afterall and that you won't be available at that time, you've made other plans. Just who does he think he is anyways? I think he's playing games with you. Is there no one else he could have called for this favor? Or, does he just know that he can depend on you at the drop of a hat. My advice is to make yourself unavailable. Maybe really make plans and do something with friends. Stay strong Summer. You're halfway there.
shawn_68 Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 I guess this is just kind of hard, I am trying really hard to be strong, but sometimes I feel like I just cave in.. ugh But you are correct, I need to just stay strong and live my life without him and move on.. thank you.. You're welcome. The VERY hardest part is closing the door with finality. Realizing that this is over forever. I don't quite think you've fully arrived at this yet. But if I were in your shoes I would. It seems to me that what you had was destructive to you and should be treated as the poison that it is. If this were ME, I would tell him that it is over forever. "Don't call me anymore, don't email me, go away. Stay away. I am now changing my phone number, I will no longer accept your email. And I don't want to see you anymore. My decision is final." In your case I think you actually need to say the words to him. Unless he hears it firmly from you, I think he will still attempt contact. In the end, I think this is only going to cause you pain and aggrevation. I also think it would be good to hear yourself tell him these words. This gives YOU the last bit of control. And I think that's what you need. This is MY perspective. That's what I would do. Somebody else may have a different approach. Obviously YOU have to decide what is best for you and your future.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 So do you think that he is still trying to be contact with me, because he does not know what he wants, or that he just likes to play head games? I know I should tell him to stay away from me, but it is easier said then done. I can ignore the e-mails, but the phone is where I have a problem.. Ugh..
norajane Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 NO, I think he is contacting you because you have not told him what you want. I think you're afraid to tell him that you don't want to see him or talk to him...because he will actually stop trying to contact you then.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 You are right in saying that.. Its like I want him to just leave me alone, and at the same time I am hoping that he chases me and tells me he made a mistake.. This really sucks.
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