SurvivingHB Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I went through the same thing as well. My exbf's bday is coming up as well. I don't think I will do anything for him this year. I planned a trip to SF last year and spent more than enough on that trip. You have probably done enough for her as well. I think there will be alot more sleepless nights ahead of you (and me), but we will get better.
Author Confuggled_one Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 Surviving.. i hope you get out of this soon too.. you seem like a nice person.. i am sorry you yourself has to be going through this phase.. i did do a lot for her.. sigh oh well....... thanks for your kind words.. do you plan on even saying a happy bday to him? are you guys on talkin terms?
SurvivingHB Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Thank you for the nice comment. I will probably not say anything to him for his bday because he would have enough blessings from others. We are still talking to each othe occasionally, but not much. We did NC for 1 1/2 months and just started talking this past weekend. I don't know if this will help. One of my friends said "If you truely love someone, you will want this person to be happy even you are not part of his/her happiness." If this is how you feel, then it will be easier to set him/her free and set yourself free. We will both get better and stronger slowly but surely. Let me know if you need to chat when you hit the bumps in your recovering process. You need all the support you can get. I will send you my IM and email addr. Keep up the good work.
Author Confuggled_one Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 Hey Surviving.. thank you for offering your Email or IM.. do you mind if you share? I would love to talk to you and hear directly from you about what happened.. thanks a lot for your help................................... and im sure we will get better through time too.. and i do want her to be happy deep down.. but im guess im just bitter for what she put me through. im rather dysfunctional now.. and i can barely focus on my own life. things have been harder and harder each day.. but i know i will pull throuhg. ty again
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 CO- You will pull through. Everything you are feeling is normal during the course of a break up. We can't choose the people we love- but we can choose to respect ourselves. We can choose to make decisions that have a positive impact on our lives. She may very well become angry if you don't say happy b-day- she may remove you from her web page... But that's another way for her control you isn't it? She breaks your heart- so you go away and don't say happy b-day- then she gets mad and punishes you? Think about how that sounds. Just stop doing what she expects of you. It's hard not to reach out...(and I suspect that you will say happy birthday) But if you do- you'll be playing into her hands again. If you stop contacting her and act like you're moving on- you'll inspire longing in her. I think you should cut this girl loose for your own health- but if you want to get her back- you have to go NC. And NC means no b-day acknowledgement. NC allows you to take back control. Good luck- let us know how you make out. D
Author Confuggled_one Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 D-lish.. I found out she was indeed seeing that guy and had feelings for him. she just didnt want to use him as a rebound and that guy was wayy too cheap for her. and she told everyone she still had me in her heart. but i think it's time.. she keeps playin mind games with me. im really tired of guessin what she is up to.. you're right.. i have been trouble findin a therapist.. but ill keep lookin.. she wrote me a msg on myspace saying " I just wanted to tell you I have a lot of great songs from a lot of artist! AND YOU KNOW I LOVE SENDING SONGS TO PEOPLE >=D So i wont be talking to you, hahaha >=D dont worry~" so i totally know she is tryin to gain control. luckily i talked to you guys and friends. i just needa tryta stop this ****.. it's really startin to get to me the deeper i think into it.. i dont even konw what she wants anymore, but like you said.. it doesnt matter.. it's about me now.. so thanks dlish props and hope to hear from you guys soon:o
SurvivingHB Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Here is my IM and Email - [email protected]. When you are down and weary, ping me and I will be there for you.
Recommended Posts