almostthere Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 For any of you who know my story I have made some decisions this weekend. This past week I have spent a lot of time thinking about my situation. I think its all me now. I think because all the phone calls and arguing my bf and his ex did while we were together have really hurt me. And i just cannot get over it. He is wonderful to me now. things have been quiet or acceptable for a few months now. she is finally moved in with her finance and now i should feel some relief. its just that in the beginning i felt that he still loved her and thats why he kept arguing with her when we were together about her wanting him to come back home. I do feel that he is finally over her. 99% anyway. I will always have my doubts. and as long as i dont know and he doesnt bring it up or cheat on me who really cares. right? i mean i think thats a healthy way to look at it. i really think that i jst cannot let it go. i am not sure why i cant. i even tried to break up with him last weekend but decided i am not solving any problems. I think I have depression or ocd. this eats away at me every other day. i hate everytime she calls. i hate how she is as a mother. she left her oldest son (from a marriage before hers and my bf's) behind when she moved with her finance and she knows he wil have to live out of a car. she just doesnt care. she is a horrible person. In my opinion. I have decided to go to couseling and I will be telling my bf when we have time to talk again. We live together but he worked 85 hours last week and left us with just yesterday. are any of my actions normal? if you were wronged like me would you feel like i do? i dont want to keep bothering him about it so thats why i want to seek a counselor. i guess i want someone to help me just let it go. because all i can tell right now is that inorder for me to feel better i would have to leave and not go back. and i dont want to do that. i want this to work. Am i crazy for blaming this on myself? it been since June for the last outbreak (thats when she said her and my bf slept together while we were together). After that its been ok. not great but a lot better then it was. I just dont know how to forgive and forget. what am i looking for him to say or do? he has already apologized and tried to explain that he just didnt know how to handle all that. maybe he really didnt know. could you possibly be that ignorant to the fact that you have to respect some people before other people deserve it?
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