kandi r Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 This is an update to everyone. I posted one thread some days ago. Well here is the news. Me and my ex are still not together. I still cry everynight, but the pain is not as intense but is still very much there. Since we broke up I have been going over everynight for like an hour just to visit and have dinner. His ex has called while I was there and when I answered I told her this is his girlfriend and do not call. Her response was tell him a friend called and hung up. That got me fed up. I asked him are you back with her.He stated no and I am not going back with anyone. My question is why does he let me come over then. Is it because I am being pushy because I am. That is like the only reason I get to come over. He doesn't ask me to come over. I asked him if your with ur ex again then tell me and I will walk away forever. He says I am a grown man and No I am not seeing her. I told him to tell her to stop calling he said he will. So more over. I was there this last entire weekend. I wanted him so bad to hold me at night, but nothing just the normal back rub I gave him and off to sleep we went. I miss him so much. I want him to just let me come home. He keeps saying we need a little time still. My stubborness won't let it be. Its like in my mind i am giving him another two weeks and if he decides he still needs time I am going to walk away and leave the choice up to him. I know I may sound selfish but, I love this man and I have not cheated all I did was get out of control with anger. Why doese he let me come over. why??? also why does when I ask him can we still remain a couple but not live together he says fine. then when I bring the subject up again he gets pissed. He is getting another job interview this wed. He is trying to concentrate on. I just want to know DOes it seem like he wants to take me back soon. Or does it seem like a dead end road. I call him everyday and he answers. recently he is just keeping our conversations short. I don't email. I cry sometimes on the phone. Then he says don't cry because that gets me upset. what does he mean it gets him upset. I am the one crying. I love him dearly. I want to be his wife and have his children. Oh dear lord help me.
Lor Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Hey, Kandi. don't know why this new post of yours didn't show up right away for me as unread, but....... One thing I'd like you to do, post to this thread only for a while. Its easier to see what is happening if you don't have multiple threads out there. I have to ask ~ how old are you? No offense but you sound rather young. One thing you need to quit doing is going to see him. I know, that's not what you want, but you need to. Its good that you're not emailing but the phone calls, the constant I love you, I need you, please let me come home won't do anything but keep pushing him further away. I know this for a fact cuz that's what I did when my husband decided he didn't want me in his life anymore and I'm now headed for divorce. Quit trying to talk to him about it, quit trying to tell him what to do. You told him to quit talking to his ex ~ you can't make him and he'll do it if he wants. You can't make him take you back, you can't make him do anything. You sound needy, clingy, and impatient. He's wanting to see if you'll grow up ~ clean the house, stop the bickering, and take control of your own life. You've got it in your mind that since you love each other everything should be roses all the time, but in reality they aren't. Saying I love you doesn't mean sh*t, really, its how you show them you love them. I say it over and over; actions speak louder than words. You are back at your parents place. Okay, now its time to start working on who you want to be. Time to get your own place. If you don't have a job, time to get one. Time to go to college if you haven't already. You don't have kids yet so you are fortunate there. You need to get to a point in your life where you don't need anyone, and that includes the exBF! Believe me, you aren't ready to go back to him ~ if you moved back in tomorrow you'll fall right back into the old habits in a week or two. And it sounds like he's mature enough to realize that. You've had your eyes opened a little to what it would take to make a relationship work ~ realizing you were taking him for granted and all, but now its time to really learn how to take care of yourself and to grow into someone who can handle a serious relationship. Right now you're a stalker. Don't laugh cuz its true. Did you hear what you wrote? You beg him to let you come over, you answer his phone, you tell his ex to take a hike, you tell him not to talk to her, you tell him over and over you love him, you beg him to let you come back. If you had a guy in your life that treated you like this, what would you do? Keep us posted on what's going on and I truely mean you no offense by any of this ~ only to make you really see what your actions are doing to your chances of getting back with him.
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