Teacher's Pet Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 .....and climbing the walls. Four months ago tonight, my ex and I made love for the last time. It was the day after her birthday. I remember picking her up from her job, taking her out to dinner, and then going back to her place for our usual night of steamy debauchery......not realizing it would be our last. I had no warning signs, nothing. That's about the only thing I still miss about her, at least I think so. She was the best lover I ever had. She was very uninhibited, wild, and yet romantic and loving at the same time. Well, IN bed, she was. I *think* I'm better now, but I'm really not sure anymore. The last week or so, I've been so depressed over her again, after weeks of feeling just fine. I guess I'm just really confused and lonely right now. I think I've truly forgotten what it feels like to be in the arms of a woman. I mean, I go out, I have fun, but....... I just miss the way my evenings used to end.....and part of me still misses the woman they ended with. Whoever said "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all...."..... .....probably never loved. And just think. The anniversary of my breakup will be Thursday. Pool night for me and B, or what *used* to be. I PROMISED myself I'd never let myself feel this way again, but I'm just fooling myself. Dammit, someone hold me. -tp i've been cheated, been mistreated, when the F*** will i be loved?
D-Lish Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Four months still isn't a long time to get over someone you love. If you look at how far you've come in the last four months- that might make you feel better. Think about where you were at in terms of misery a couple months ago compared to now. I bet, despite the set back of missing your ex every once and a while that you'll realize just how freakin far you've come!
Art_Critic Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Four months still isn't a long time to get over someone you love. I agree with D-lish.. I was over my ex-wife almost as soon as the divorce was final.. It did take me about a year to regain myself.. or get my dating legs again. and most of my GF's I've had since I was over as soon as the breakup happened.. well almost that quick.. But there is one girl that I fell for..I'll call her Candie.. She was like a drug.. her personality was sooo addicting and I loved her.. I loved her for a million reasons though.. She infected my brain and my soul to the point I will always carry her with me.. It kinda sucks that I carry this and she couldn't care a less about me. I'm not over her.. and it has been 2 years.. it doesn't stop me from dating and moving on but damn... she was something and I'll bet she still is.. Soo...TP.. I know what you feel.. But keep dating.. someone will come along and trip your trigger even more.. that is what I'm waiting for Damn.. that was a sappy post for me to make.. Whack !!!
burning 4 revenge Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Yes. Some people we'll never get over . I'll always remember Denver Guy....wait...
fireflywy Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 I know how you feel. I ran into my ex at the bar on Friday (I just posted my story about it). I miss that part of our relationship too. I so badly want to text her to see if he communication with me was her attempt to reopen the door. But the one part of me says that it isn't. She didn't express to me how much she missed me or how much she cared..... So I guess I won't. I also want to be held right now.
Art_Critic Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 I miss that part of our relationship too. I actually miss the feeling of loving her.. During the relationship I wrote love letters to her..Some of which she never got a chance to read, I have never done that with anyone else.. ever.. She flipped a switch inside me that made me feel good.... I think that is what I'm looking for again..that same feeling.. the next time though I think I know what not to do ..
SurvivingHB Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 I do hope that we can eventually get over someone that could not cherish what they have. My exbf dumped me and could not tell me why it took him 1 1/2 years in the relationship to realize that he never loved me. It hurts, but I still miss him and love him... I am scared if I will not be able to love again. I am scared that I will meet someone like him again... I do hope it gets better for all of us...
D-Lish Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 There will be many loves in our lives. Holding on to lost loves is truly a barrier to finding new ones. Remember that. Once you've been burned, it's hard to recover and open yourself up again... but it's still important to let go and believe there is someone else out there waiting for us. :-)
fireflywy Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Very true D-Lish. Very true. I guess I'm just confused right now. I don't know what to think since this past weekend. Was she trying to come back? I feel a little taken aback today.
D-Lish Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Sometimes exes pull at our heart strings- sometimes they do it on purpose, sometimes they don't. I read your post about your encounter. Only you can say whether or not there was chemistry left between you- because you were there. What does your heart tell you? D
fireflywy Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 I don't know. Part me thinks that maybe the only reason she came up to me was because she saw me dancing with someone new and she just wanted to assert herself again in my life. She knows, that after everything that happened, I expressed to her how much I cared. However, she never expressed her regret for what happened, she just walked away. There are times that I think that MAYBE I had some impact on her but there are other times that I think maybe the only reason she said hello to me was because she was lonely, in between men, and figured that she could easily come back to me (because she knows I care) and could therefore use me as a security blanket. During that exchange, she never expressed any feelings to me and I wonder how much she remembers. Refering to her little girl as "my daughter" and her "friend", both of whom I knew quite well, was kind of odd. Does she think I'm stupid? That I don't remember the details of her and her life? Does she think that maybe I, like possibly her, have gone out, dated a ton of people, and that my memory is hazy now? (does that make sense?) In the end, I was talking to a friend of mine last night and he said that if she wants me, then she'll come back and tell me how she feels. Not just a lite casual conversation. If she wants me, she'll say something with more substance. If she doesn't, then she was just testing the waters for whatever reason, but that alone doesn't mean that she's serious about anything. Part of me wants to contact her and ask her this? Of course that was on Friday... what does everyone think? I'd hate to call her, make her angry, or find out that she has someone new... I don't think a text message is appropriate either... but I'm not sure what to do...
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Well, it's true. I still have feelings for my ex...and I have reached out to him and told him my feelings in an effort to win him back. Unless someone is blinded by their pride- they will come and tell you how they feel- they will make a move. But, unfortunately for both you and I- we have to wait and see. We can't keep reaching out and pining and hoping. It's not healthy. I sent my last e-mail to my ex on the weekend- now I am through. How much rejection can the ego take ya know? D
Author Teacher's Pet Posted October 19, 2006 Author Posted October 19, 2006 And today... ....now it's 4 months since the breakup. Why the hell am I still dwelling on this? :( Next Wednesday will mark 4 months NC, however..... Even with all the dates I've had since then... My love life is at a complete standstill. I just wish....well...I NEED....something exciting to happen. I don't even mean a random sexual encounter, necessarily... Just *something* to happen in my life to wake me up again. Passion, thrills, danger...something! Maybe I should join the CIA. -tp licensed to....ecch.
burning 4 revenge Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 You should play music again. I miss that aspect of my life and one day it will be a part of my life again
bendit Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 When you are still hurting over X, dating just makes you feel worse. You're still comparing them to HER. I know you want to get laid and that will feel good for, ohh about 20 minutes or so (if you are like me ). Then you'll likely have a Peggy Lee "Is that all there is" moment, and start to feel yucky again. You'll also have this strange person next to you, who you kinda wish would just leave. If you do find a gal that Immediately rocks your world like X did, RUN! You may have found her psychic Clone. I also think that right after a horrific, sudden breakup, we are desperately searching for validation and approval, especially from the opposite sex. But we aren't ourselves yet. We're more than a bit desperate, and the opposite sex can sense our neediness, even if you don't notice it yourself. For the first year or so, its probably best to resign yourself to a period of growth, introspection, and learning, and assuming a "bunker" mentality. If someone comes along, fine; but don't force things. You're in survival mode for the first six months and its best to just, well, try and survive it. But this also can be a richly rewarding time when you can learn a great deal about yourself, and take stock of your life "so far". How did you get "here"? Where are you in your relationships, life, and in the larger scheme of things? TP, win by "not trying". Let go and give up. Stop trying so hard and you may just discover that things will start happening for you. Let the TAO, nature, take its course. regards
bendit Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 well you're talking a GOOD day. 20 minutes? I was thinking more like 25.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted October 20, 2006 Author Posted October 20, 2006 You should play music again. I miss that aspect of my life and one day it will be a part of my life again Funny you should mention that... I'm starting up a cover band (again)....hopefully our first practice will be next week... female-fronted hard rock/classic rock.... should be neat...... I have not yet met ANY of my bandmates lol... The guitarist and drummer are friends, they recruited a singer they don't know, and me. lol This..... will be interesting. lol -tp 4 strings and a dream
Author Teacher's Pet Posted October 20, 2006 Author Posted October 20, 2006 For the first year or so.... Or so? lol I was with my ex a total of 10 months (from casual dating to seriously involved).... Since the breakup, even though my love life has sucked royally, everything else has improved greatly..... Heck....if Ariawoman was around, she'd tell you. She was in a Yahoo chat room with me when my ex called to tell me to never contact her again.... she's known me since almost day 1 of my "new journey" lol I'm doing better at my job (even up for a promotion!), in better physical shape (I have like, muscles and stuff now), and heck, I beat Star Wars Battlefront II on my Xbox. I have all new friends, and even got to watch chicks pee outside a club (oh...just dig through my old posts for THAT story) Life is actually pretty good... I just miss the sex...err...romance side of it.. -tp one life one love one odd fetish
Author Teacher's Pet Posted October 20, 2006 Author Posted October 20, 2006 well you're talking a GOOD day. Sounds like me! I now know why they call getting laid "a home run" (that's baseball talk, to all you foreigners! lol) Takes just as long. "And there it goes! It's high...it's long...it's..." ...done. -tp quick on the 6-shooter ...well.... 5 1/2.
dr strangelove Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 No shag yet .. hmm I could ramble on about a few things im thinking.. Stuff I shouldnt make comments on.. like (20mins? huh??) You might try looking for women in other places like..... -A yoga class -cooking class -do u have a have pet? dogs attract women -do a google search..theres places where women outnumber the men, this makes your odds better and you get hit on. I used to take yoga so I know this.. Dance class is another place.. Sometimes this stuff is offered at next to nothing, like a community centre etc...
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