magichands Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 But the more she stays, the more comfortable he gets in knowing that he has her pretty much in the palm of her hand, and that he can remedy just about anything by saying "Sorry Tess... I didn't mean it." I agree with this completely. It's a vicious cycle. (And I know vicious - trust me.)
magichands Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Anyway, whether you think I'm a drama queen or not is irrelevant, it's not really adressing the issue I have. Sorry if it's too much drama for you. As higznkisses said, there really is no need to repsond if you disagree with my posts or think they are dramatized... Stop being a drama queen. Just kidding.
norajane Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Sometimes life doesn't go peachy for some. I know what you think of me Magic, that's your thoughts. Doesn't make my issues any less important. I still have alot to learn, I realise that, but that doesn't make me a drama queen.... I kinda understand what he's saying, sweets. There's no drama like intense first love drama, disillusionment, and heartbreak...especially when it's your first love with your first lover. I've been through a few heartbreaks but nothing compares to how I felt at the first one, when I was younger... If you were in the same situation 10 years from now, you wouldn't stand for a tenth of his behavior before walking away. You'd know how to handle it better so he couldn't create the drama, and you wouldn't feed into it. Once you are done with him and someone else asks you for advice when they're in a similar situation, you'll understand how caught up in it you are right now that you can't make logical, rational choices for yourself.
hugznkisses21 Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 yes u guys are very much on track with first love drama - BUT when u are in it you cant see it - so right now she cant see past her heart n pain so - all we can do is support and offer advice accusing her or saying that she is a drama queen wont help Maybe 10 year from now yeah she will look back or she will make different choices but it isnt 10 years from now - its now and its sensitive
ShoeGirl Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Lovestruck- I am/was in a similar situation. I was feeling like my boyfriend of two and a half years was taking me for granted, that he thought I would always be there no matter what, and that he didn't care if I left. I have read what you wrote and a lot of what you have said are thoughts that I have had. I was scared to death of telling him it was over, I didn't know what he would do, I was afraid that he wouldn't care and would let me walk away. I finally (after many months of this) got the courage to tell him that I was fed up and if things didn't change drastically I would leave and not look back. Granted when I said that it was mostly talk, I don't know if I could have actually left. Anyway, my threat of leaving (and a lot of talking about all of this) scared him and things are A LOT better. I don't know how long things will stay better but I am willing to stick it out for now and see. Maybe all you need to do is threaten to leave... he might let you, if that is the case go, he will likely come after you... if he doesn't then he is not worth it. I know it takes a lot to get the courage, you will eventually get there. Something needs to change, either he needs to realize how he is treating you or you need to leave.
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 I kinda understand what he's saying, sweets. There's no drama like intense first love drama, disillusionment, and heartbreak...especially when it's your first love with your first lover. I've been through a few heartbreaks but nothing compares to how I felt at the first one, when I was younger... If you were in the same situation 10 years from now, you wouldn't stand for a tenth of his behavior before walking away. You'd know how to handle it better so he couldn't create the drama, and you wouldn't feed into it. Once you are done with him and someone else asks you for advice when they're in a similar situation, you'll understand how caught up in it you are right now that you can't make logical, rational choices for yourself. You can't put a 30 or 40 yr old head onto my head. I am learning from what I know, I wish I could learn faster, maybe make a few less mistakes... Man, relationships are so damn hard. This is the longest relationship I have been in (10 months) and I'm even struggling now. Imagine how crap I will be at the whole marriage thing. I'll be a mess!... I think it's the vicious cycle thing that's making me weigh up things and try to cover up his bad things with good things when people suggest I leave him. See, things are good after they are bad, and so I think it's all okay. I think "No, you're wrong. I am happy at the moment. He apologized and we are back to normal"....then, it starts up again and over and over and around and around. The same thing over and over. The short bursts of anger, arguments, sadness, hurt are relaced with ALOT of happiness and good time.... Wait, see, there I go again, trying to cover it up. You know, just a little something that I haven't forgotten about. It's only a little thing and it's pretty insignificant, maybe just an immature teenage boy thing, but one day we were talking about marriage etc, how we want our wedding to be....just one of those daydreaming on the grass days....anyway, I was saying how I want a huge wedding ring, full of diamonds, all sparkly and stuff, and he goes "Pfft, I'm not wearing a wedding ring..." I'm like "Why not?" He's like "They look poofy, I'll look gay.." and I'm like "Rhys, if you wear it on your left hand on your wedding finger, you will look far from gay. You will look MARRIED." I laughed about it but I was later thinking "Hmmmmm...." I don't know, just a little something I have always thought about... Last night I asked him what he could see in the future. Where he thought we would be. He got really stressed out. I'm like "So do you really reckon we'll stick it out for ever?" and he's like "Geeez, I dont' know. Maybe. yeah, I reckon we will.....but I don't know. I dont' know the future. It scares me anyway, thinking about the future..." Should I make anything of that? He said he thinks we'll last the distance. So do I. Mmmm....I really hope we do. I was talking to mum a little while ago when I was having serious doubts about everything and I was thinking that Rhys doesn't love me etc... Anyway I was saying to mum "I'm not going to love someone who doesn't love me back. I can't do that, it brings too much hurt..." And she said to me "Tess, he is in love with you. He has told your father he loves you, for crying out loud. You fell in love with him, right? Well, people can't just fall OUT of love. Just like that. It has to take a hell of alot." She was also telling me that her brother (my uncle), cos he re-married to this witch he's with now, but anyway, re-married because he's previous wife was an alcoholic. But mum was telling me that he would take her back tomorrow, no problems. Because she was his first true love. Whether she's an alcoholic or not, he would take her back, without hesitation. Which I think is sweet, and true. Being with someone you love, especially your true love, makes you see past those faults, and makes you love them for who they are, warts and all...(as my mum says)... I have alot of people I love, but have alot of faults about them, just the same as I do, but to love someone TRULY, you dont' dwell on those faults. That's what scares me. Rhys often picks out bad things about people, including me... Hmmmm.....
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Lovestruck- I am/was in a similar situation. I was feeling like my boyfriend of two and a half years was taking me for granted, that he thought I would always be there no matter what, and that he didn't care if I left. I have read what you wrote and a lot of what you have said are thoughts that I have had. I was scared to death of telling him it was over, I didn't know what he would do, I was afraid that he wouldn't care and would let me walk away. I finally (after many months of this) got the courage to tell him that I was fed up and if things didn't change drastically I would leave and not look back. Granted when I said that it was mostly talk, I don't know if I could have actually left. Anyway, my threat of leaving (and a lot of talking about all of this) scared him and things are A LOT better. I don't know how long things will stay better but I am willing to stick it out for now and see. Maybe all you need to do is threaten to leave... he might let you, if that is the case go, he will likely come after you... if he doesn't then he is not worth it. I know it takes a lot to get the courage, you will eventually get there. Something needs to change, either he needs to realize how he is treating you or you need to leave. When I read stuff like that I get that urge and I'm like "YEAH!! I'm going to do it! I'm going to tell him straight out!! WOO!!" but then when it's actually shoved into my face and I'm standing there I'm about as strong as paper and my knees turn to jelly... I'm hopless.
Sparky Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Lovestruck (or Tess, if you want), after reading your long post, I am trying not to cry... Do you think I reacted to the situations well? Absolutely not. I'll tell you why in a bit... All I can say is that if I were in your shoes, I would've ripped his head off. Oh, and another thing, you know how he's always sarcastic about things? Well, he sometimes takes it too far. He had me in tears on the weekend because of one of his jokes. We were laying in bed and he was kinda half sleeping. I leant over to him and started to kiss him on the chest, neck etc and he pushed me away. he's like "Tess, go to sleep..." I giggled and just kept going, then he's liek "Tess, seriously, dont' you get it? GO TO SLEEP! F*cking hell! Leave me alone!" So I rolled over and started to cry a little. Then he's like "Naaaaah, only kidding around! Awww, what you cryng for? I was only kidding!" I'm like "well, it didn't seem like that!!" He did it a few times over the weekend. It really p*sses me off. Cos then when he IS serious, I'm giggling and joking arouns. Then that's when he gets p*ssed off.... The reason why I am crying is because I have been treated like this before by someone who was just "joking around." This not love. This is emotional harrassment. He obviously couldn't care less about how you feel. Think about it. Suppose he did... Why would he do it again unless he's trying to amuse himself? Don't you think he gets a kick out of it? Do you think he does this to see my reaction? I try not to react, but sometimes it's hard not to!! I would probably bet everything that he does. And what makes this worse? You're not reacting! He see's you're not doing anything about it, so thinks it's okay. I just don't want to start any arguments.....that's why I keep my mouth shut... Let me ask you this... Do you think this is just gonna go away by itself? When we're not arguing and on a "good streak", things are GREAT! I do have alot of fun with him, we laugh and do things that crack us up, he is really loving and affectionate (most of the time). The good in a relationship doesn't always balance out the bad. And in this case, I don't believe that there's anything that could outweight what he's done to you. IF he ever cheats on me, then I will break up with him, that's an excuse, but this isn't.....I don't know. *Sigh* I just don't. You think what he's doing right now is higher than cheating? People have pulled pranks out of their asses on me that I thought was just sickening. Driving off and leaving me stranded, telling me someone what absolutely livid with me and warning me to stay away from them, etc. and afterwards, they told me they we just joking. THAT was their excuse for making me cry. Is this your definition of love? To be walked all over like some mat? To be second choice to someone he thinks is sexy? To make you cry, disrespect you, and then backpedal by saying he was just joking? To me, this is torture. Is THIS what you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT when you don't see him for a week? Lovestruck, I'm apologizing for asking you this question, but I can't help but wonder... Do you hate yourself? Did you do something wrong to deserve this? If I were you, I'd be going to the police, and placing a restraining order on this a**hole. I can't stand to watch someone be treating like this, so I'm asking (if not begging) you to save me the heartache and ditch him.
norajane Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Man, relationships are so damn hard. This is the longest relationship I have been in (10 months) and I'm even struggling now. Imagine how crap I will be at the whole marriage thing. I'll be a mess!...Nuh-uh. THIS relationship is so damned hard because Rhys is making it so with his temper, immaturity, the abusive way he speaks to you and the disrespectful way he treats you. You're struggling because he is making this a very difficult relationship. It's impossible to have a good relationship with an abuser. All relationships are NOT like this! Not even close! When you're with a man who feels as lucky to have you in his life as you do him, and he shows it, it's a whole different ballgame. Do not under any circumstances think this is how all relationships are. They may take work, but not THIS kind of work. You are kind, generous, understanding, LOYAL and open to seeing the good in people. You'll be wonderful at marriage, but not if it's to a guy like Rhys. He can't be good in a marriage, he can't be a good partner until he grows up quite a bit and learns to control his anger and abuse. Someone who tells you to shut the f*ck up and calls you stupid IS NOT someone who would have a successful relationship with anyone.
ShoeGirl Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 When I read stuff like that I get that urge and I'm like "YEAH!! I'm going to do it! I'm going to tell him straight out!! WOO!!" but then when it's actually shoved into my face and I'm standing there I'm about as strong as paper and my knees turn to jelly... I'm hopless. You are not hopeless!! It took me a long time to get there... my knees were jelly many times before I got the courage to actually say it... and when I did say it to him it was 90% talk... I don't think I could have left him. You will get the courage, probably not today or tomorrow but you will!!
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Lovestruck (or Tess, if you want), after reading your long post, I am trying not to cry... Absolutely not. I'll tell you why in a bit... All I can say is that if I were in your shoes, I would've ripped his head off. The reason why I am crying is because I have been treated like this before by someone who was just "joking around." This not love. This is emotional harrassment. He obviously couldn't care less about how you feel. Think about it. Suppose he did... Why would he do it again unless he's trying to amuse himself? Don't you think he gets a kick out of it? Yeah, I definitely think he gets a kick out of it. That's what makes me so upset. If I ever tried to joke with someone like that (which I probably would never do in my entire life), I wouldn't be able to hold it for 2 seconds without feeling bad about it. He actually ENJOYS to see my reaction, which is usually sadness....kinda sick actually. I would probably bet everything that he does. And what makes this worse? You're not reacting! He see's you're not doing anything about it, so thinks it's okay. Let me ask you this... Do you think this is just gonna go away by itself? I am trying to convince myself that it will. The more I convince myself, the more I block it out, hence the worse he is getting. I guess that's why I don't react....I just block it out. Tell you what though, that wall is getting pretty damn high! The good in a relationship doesn't always balance out the bad. And in this case, I don't believe that there's anything that could outweight what he's done to you. You think what he's doing right now is higher than cheating? I think it's not as bad as cheating, but that's just me. I can cop just about EVERYTHING in a relationship bar cheaters. They make me sick. People have pulled pranks out of their asses on me that I thought was just sickening. Driving off and leaving me stranded, telling me someone what absolutely livid with me and warning me to stay away from them, etc. and afterwards, they told me they we just joking. THAT was their excuse for making me cry. Is this your definition of love? To be walked all over like some mat? To be second choice to someone he thinks is sexy? To make you cry, disrespect you, and then backpedal by saying he was just joking? To me, this is torture. Is THIS what you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT when you don't see him for a week? My definition of love....ha......love.....I'm starting to wonder myself what it is now. I don't even know anymore. Being willing to do anything for that other person? Loving them warts n all? Geez, I don't know. I know I love him, I know I am doing the right thing by my definition, but now I am trying to convinve myself that so is he. Lovestruck, I'm apologizing for asking you this question, but I can't help but wonder... Do you hate yourself? Did you do something wrong to deserve this? Sometimes I do, yes. I will admit that. I hate myself cos I start these arguments. These arguments start from me opening my mouth. If I just keep it shut we all live in peace. Ha...I am just thinking of this as a learning experience..... If I were you, I'd be going to the police, and placing a restraining order on this a**hole. I can't stand to watch someone be treating like this, so I'm asking (if not begging) you to save me the heartache and ditch him. I dont' know how much longer I can stand it either. I keep saying that, yet each day goes by and I do nothing. I let it happen....another reason why I should hate myself. I am letting this relationship go to the sh*t.
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 All relationships are NOT like this! Not even close! When you're with a man who feels as lucky to have you in his life as you do him, and he shows it, it's a whole different ballgame. Do not under any circumstances think this is how all relationships are. They may take work, but not THIS kind of work. Geeez, I need to get out more, I think. I had the impression they were all hard, gut-wreching work. Was I wrong or what? Lol
magichands Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I let it happen....another reason why I should hate myself. You are being waaay too hard on yourself. Wait until you've done as many stupid things in your life as me - I have no alternative when I look in the mirror but to burst out laughing. You said it yourself - there's a mixture of wonderful and forgettable times. I think that you're forgetting too many of the forgettable moments - that's all you're guilty of. Sure...it will be one of the hardest things you have ever done - if you choose to do it - but gaining some independence might be the best thing to happen to you. It's really not the end of the world...just seems like it.
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 You are not hopeless!! It took me a long time to get there... my knees were jelly many times before I got the courage to actually say it... and when I did say it to him it was 90% talk... I don't think I could have left him. You will get the courage, probably not today or tomorrow but you will!! One day....I hope. I think sometimes I've gotta stop thinking with my heart so much and start thinking with my head. I'm too wound up in all this love stuff... My head has turned to mush...
norajane Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I think it's not as bad as cheating, but that's just me. I can cop just about EVERYTHING in a relationship bar cheaters. They make me sick. Mental and emotional abuse is no better than cheating. Worse, actually, because he can't control himself. Much, much worse because you accept it and, ultimately, feel that you deserve it. I'm sure you wouldn't feel that you deserve to be cheated on, but for some reason, you feel you deserve his abuse. He can't stop hurting you Tess - can't you see that? Can't you see he can't stop? Sometimes I do, yes. I will admit that. I hate myself cos I start these arguments. These arguments start from me opening my mouth. If I just keep it shut we all live in peace. Ha...I am just thinking of this as a learning experience.....No, YOU are not starting these arguments by opening your mouth. HE is starting them, worsening them, and ending them...with you in tears or begging him for forgiveness. I don't know why you can't see that? Plenty of people in relationships open their mouths and speak up about things that bother them. And speaking their minds does not result in arguments because their love, their lover, actually doesn't feel the rage that Rhys does, and doesn't call them stupid, and tell them to shut up. I have been dating guys for 20 years, Tess, and NOT ONE GUY has ever, ever yelled at me like Rhys yells at you, and not one has ever told me to shut my f*cking mouth. NEVER. And it ain't because I keep my mouth shut. I am letting this relationship go to the sh*t.No, you are not "letting" it go to sh*t. HE is making it sh*t. Simply put, he is actually not a decent guy. He really isn't. He certainly isn't treating you like a decent guy would.
Sparky Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Well stop letting it happen, and do something about it. You think you love him? Fine, keep telling yourself that. Personally, I'm REALLY offended by how little faith you have, how easily you give up, and how you come here for help and then contradict what I am saying by giving me this excuse that you don't have the guts to stop this harassment. If you want to keep taking this from him, that's your choice. Have I been just wasting my time trying to help you? I apologize if I'm being harsh, but it's really hard to feel sorry for someone who doesn't even try to make things better. For God's sake, have a little backbone!
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Imagine how crap I will be at the whole marriage thing. I'll be a mess!... You will learn through experience, and grow. Trust me on this one! Look, I have to say this - Rhys broke his promise to you that he wouldn't be cruel to you, swear at you. Remember he said he was going to stop doing that? Well, he lied! Or couldn't help himself... He says awful and disrespectful things to you, then says sorry. He treats you like crap, then says sorry. He is MEAN to you, then says sorry. My fear for you Tess is, one day he is gonna smack you - Then say sorry. And you'll still be sitting there with him, saying to him "I'm sorry Rhys, I didn't mean to piss you off." And that cycle will start up and get worse and worse. Please, next time he tells you to F off, or calls you stupid, DO NOT SAY WORD, just walk away from him and go home. Don't answer his calls, no matter how much it kills. I would rather see you alone, than with Rhys. He is manipulating you so badly, he knows you so well and knows the exact button to push so you do what he wants... I know you can't see this yet, but hopefully some day soon you will. Promise me this - Keep your mom and dad IN the loop of what is going on with Rhys. IF it gets real bad, bad enough that you fear him (because of his anger, resentment, whatever) LET your dad tell him off and not to come near you again. Rhys doesn't deserve you Tess. You're above him in so many ways, I just wish you'd see this in yourself.
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Mental and emotional abuse is no better than cheating. Worse, actually, because he can't control himself. Much, much worse because you accept it and, ultimately, feel that you deserve it. I'm sure you wouldn't feel that you deserve to be cheated on, but for some reason, you feel you deserve his abuse. He can't stop hurting you Tess - can't you see that? Can't you see he can't stop? No, YOU are not starting these arguments by opening your mouth. HE is starting them, worsening them, and ending them...with you in tears or begging him for forgiveness. I don't know why you can't see that? Plenty of people in relationships open their mouths and speak up about things that bother them. And speaking their minds does not result in arguments because their love, their lover, actually doesn't feel the rage that Rhys does, and doesn't call them stupid, and tell them to shut up. I have been dating guys for 20 years, Tess, and NOT ONE GUY has ever, ever yelled at me like Rhys yells at you, and not one has ever told me to shut my f*cking mouth. NEVER. And it ain't because I keep my mouth shut. No, you are not "letting" it go to sh*t. HE is making it sh*t. Simply put, he is actually not a decent guy. He really isn't. He certainly isn't treating you like a decent guy would. It's just his constant "You are only good for one thing...arguments" or "You're nothing but a f*cking idiot" or "I can't see us being together forever" or "This is it..." or "F*ck off. I have had enough of you!" that is sort of circling in my head 24/7 that makes me NOT see that HE is starting these arguments, fights or disagreements... I'm not sure how it happened, I certainly didn't say anything, but Mum found out what Rhys had said to me about her. He must have said to someone else, I dont' know, but anyway, mum was just in tears to me on the phone. Just now. Each little thing he is doing as of late is just making me get more and more p*ssed off. Messing with my family is probably one of the worst things you could do by me. I have a feeling things aren't going to be too happy-chappy this afternoon....(wow, what a change!) So not ONE guy has ever told you to shut up or anything like that? Not one? Wow, I want to find the guys YOU'RE dating!! Like I said, I am under the impression that this is how relationships go. No other way....pfft, I have been under one BIG A** rock! On Friday night when I was laing in bed falling asleep I was thinking "Nup, this isn't right, there has got to be something better..." and I was thinking of one of my ex's. He was not only a boyfriend, but a best best best friend. He was so caring. I would ring him up crying about something and he would be like "Awwww, you sound so cute when you cry...shhhh, it's ok." and he would listen to everything, offer me advice, even sometimes cry with me. Then I thought that if I rang Rhys with the same thing he would just say "Oh, she'll be right, mate. Crying doesn't get you anywhere. Come on, get over it." I was laying there for about half an hour just comparing different things/scenarios that I had had with my ex, then now with Rhys, and it nearly made me cry to think that I was the one that ended that relationship. I didn't realise how good I had it..... And you know what? I ended it cos I was falling for Rhys. I selfishly broke this guys heart, who was crazy bout me, for this guy. What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Well stop letting it happen, and do something about it. You think you love him? Fine, keep telling yourself that. Personally, I'm REALLY offended by how little faith you have, how easily you give up, and how you come here for help and then contradict what I am saying by giving me this excuse that you don't have the guts to stop this harassment. If you want to keep taking this from him, that's your choice. Have I been just wasting my time trying to help you? I apologize if I'm being harsh, but it's really hard to feel sorry for someone who doesn't even try to make things better. For God's sake, have a little backbone! Gee, thanks, Sparky. On top of the tears that are rolling down my cheeks while writing this, I get this from you. That's awesome. Thanks for your support. Obviously you don't understand. You say you do, you don't. You don't understand how hard this is for me, cos your sitting there blurbing out stuff like that. That's great. That just made me feel so good. Thanks heaps.
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 You will learn through experience, and grow. Trust me on this one! Look, I have to say this - Rhys broke his promise to you that he wouldn't be cruel to you, swear at you. Remember he said he was going to stop doing that? Well, he lied! Or couldn't help himself... He says awful and disrespectful things to you, then says sorry. He treats you like crap, then says sorry. He is MEAN to you, then says sorry. My fear for you Tess is, one day he is gonna smack you - Then say sorry. And you'll still be sitting there with him, saying to him "I'm sorry Rhys, I didn't mean to piss you off." And that cycle will start up and get worse and worse. Please, next time he tells you to F off, or calls you stupid, DO NOT SAY WORD, just walk away from him and go home. Don't answer his calls, no matter how much it kills. I would rather see you alone, than with Rhys. He is manipulating you so badly, he knows you so well and knows the exact button to push so you do what he wants... I know you can't see this yet, but hopefully some day soon you will. Promise me this - Keep your mom and dad IN the loop of what is going on with Rhys. IF it gets real bad, bad enough that you fear him (because of his anger, resentment, whatever) LET your dad tell him off and not to come near you again. Rhys doesn't deserve you Tess. You're above him in so many ways, I just wish you'd see this in yourself. He told me he would never hit me. He promised me that, and he has held his word.....so far.... I am trying to learn. I really am. I am trying so hard. Sometimes people get pretty f*cking sick of trying. Actually, you just reminded me of that promise...I had forgotten all about that, yeah, so much for that! "I promise I will never make you cry again..." Yeeeeesssss....you've done well to keep that promise Rhys darlin! Next time I AM going to walk away. I will. I have NEVER ONCE told him to F off, or called him stupid, or called him ANY name, apart from beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, darling...I get F*cking idiot, little b*tch, p*ss off, leave me alone....it makes me feel so valued, you know?? Pfft.
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Don't stoop to his level and tell him to F off. No matter what. Even if he deserves it Tess...The best revenge? Walk away and don't say a word. By doing that, YOU take control. Nup, this isn't right, there has got to be something better..." There is, I can promise you that 100%! My other concern is, all those awful things he says to you and how he treats you, is really messing your head up. Take a look in the mirror Tess. You are beautiful. And, as a person you are kind hearted, loving, giving and have a great sense of humour. And, you're smart too! You got it ALL going for you and Rhys is trying to take that away from you! Don't let him!! Don't let his words make you feel bad, stupid or little. I know, all LS members know, your mom and dad know, all your friends know - HOW SPECIAL you are! Remember that!
norajane Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 So not ONE guy has ever told you to shut up or anything like that? Not one? Wow, I want to find the guys YOU'RE dating!! NOT ONE GUY has ever told me to shut up or anything like that. And certainly not anything where he's cursed at me or called me f*cking stupid. My father has a temper and yells - we're an emotional ethnic family - but even he has never said anything that derogatory to me or my mother or my sister ever, even during a rant. Those guys are everywhere, sweets. It's not normal for a guy to say sh*t like that to his girlfriend.
Kittiecat Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 NOT ONE GUY has ever told me to shut up or anything like that. And certainly not anything where he's cursed at me or called me f*cking stupid. My father has a temper and yells - we're an emotional ethnic family - but even he has never said anything that derogatory to me or my mother or my sister ever, even during a rant. Those guys are everywhere, sweets. It's not normal for a guy to say sh*t like that to his girlfriend. AMEN. Nora is right Tess - this is baloney. You seem like such a sweet girl, and I hate to see you get treated like crap. I know you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. You don't need him, and you know that, but you're afraid. And trust me, there's nothing to be afraid of. You're a beautiful young lady and you have your pick of the litter. Don't put up with his crap for a second more. If he really loved you, he would NEVER speak to you the way he speaks to you now. There's just no excuse.
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Tess. What's the worst that can happen if you two break up? What is it that you're so afraid of? The pain? Crying? Being without Rhys, thinking you'll never fall inlove again? Remember, time heals all wounds. As cliche as that is, it's true.
Author lovestruck234 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Everyone is telling me the same things over and over....why am I not doing it?... I haven't looked in the mirror and seen anything I like for about....all my life. I'm not critical of myself or anything like that, but I just don't see anything...."beautiful" or "attractive" about myself....*shrugs*... I just.....want it all to go away....
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