Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 My b/f (of two years) and I broke up recently and I have been feeling rather down. I know it was the right thing for me to do because I do not feel enough attraction to him, but I am so lonely. He was always the more outgoing one in the relationship. I don't really have a lot of friends and I am shy. I guess I never worried about it much because I hung out with my b/f most the time. I really feel for once I listened to my intuition and the doubts and have left. I feel good about listening to myself and bad about future lonliness. My b/f is a very good man I just don't think I was feeling enough for him. That is not fair for me or him. But now I must deal with being alone. He said he can not remain "buddies" with me because he needs to heal and move on. I understand this, I just need to know what now?
Rooster_DAR Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Good men are hard to find as they say, why did you lose the attraction? Loss of attraction is normal in lot's of relationships at certain points, you have to learn ebb and flow. Lonliness will be there for a while, it's something you will have to learn to master. I would not consider jumping into another relationship until you can learn to be happy being alone. My G/F just left me I believe for the same reason, she just wasn't into the relationship anymore I guess she lost her attraction as well. Too bad, she lost a man that was dedicated and loved her very much. Hopefully you made the right decision and wont' regret it later, it will probalbly be too late then. Good luck and hang in there, things will work out. Regards,
Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 My b/f (of two years) and I broke up recently and I have been feeling rather down. I know it was the right thing for me to do because I do not feel enough attraction to him, but I am so lonely. He was always the more outgoing one in the relationship. I don't really have a lot of friends and I am shy. I guess I never worried about it much because I hung out with my b/f most the time. I really feel for once I listened to my intuition and the doubts and have left. I feel good about listening to myself and bad about future lonliness. My b/f is a very good man I just don't think I was feeling enough for him. That is not fair for me or him. But now I must deal with being alone. He said he can not remain "buddies" with me because he needs to heal and move on. I understand this, I just need to know what now? What led to the breakup? Did it just come all at once or did you start feeling this way over a period of time. I you don't mind me asking, what is your age?
db75 Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 The lonliness will come in waves. Some days you'll feel really strong and optimistic, some days you feel like that lonliness is going to crush you. You'll find that as time passes the days that you feel strong start to outnumber the days that you feel lonely. It will pass and you will heal. Just stay as busy as you can, go out with whatever friends you do have available, spend time with family if possible. Whatever it takes basically to keep you mind occupied. Some days you'll take a couple steps forward, some days a couple back. It's a process that I'm sure we wish we could all just skip if we could, but in order to heal and become better, wiser and stonger people, it's something in this life you must endure. You will be okay in time. Hang in there and keep coming back to these forums if you need a place to vent. I've found them to be incredibly helpful. Rooster is right though, you've got to become comfortable with being alone. It's not an easy thing to do. I had done it before my most recent ex. I was happy and single, living alone for about 3 years. Loved it. Now I'm trying to remember why I loved it so much. It's coming back to me slowly but surely. It will come in time for you as well. I'd suggest try doing some things by yourself that you wouldn't normally do alone. It will feel really weird, but once you've done it a few times you'll feel your confidence increase and some of that shyness start to melt away. Take care
everlong Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 well u left because u didn't dig him right? so, take this time to figure out why you went out with him in the first place, why yer feelings changed, and what you what in a man and a relationship, go to the casino and blow as much money as you can, get throw out of nite clubs, and when you take a cab home, stiff the cabbie and jump into yer neighbours pool... [sounds like my weekend] Unconditional Love begins with loving yourself enough to protect our yourself from the people we Love but don't Love you back - if that is necessary.
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