Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 summer of 2005 i met a guy. we felt something the first day we met. started talking and 2 months later we got together. everything moved really fast and it seemed almost perfect. we felt like we had found each other to save us from our troubles. he told me he never felt happiness before me and said he loves me after one month. he was in a 4 year relationship before but never said he loved her. he was never affectionate with anyone before. i felt really special cuz we were each other's "first love" even though not first relationship. we understood each other with our compassion. however, soon reality kicked in and expectations started making him tired. he hated feeling incompetent cuz i wanted him to do the lil things but he dint cuz he never did before and hated being pressured to do them. so we kept argueing cuz he would do them and i would be happy until i find out that he felt pressured into doing it and i dint want it cuz it wasnt real. so after 4 months we were on and off. after so many breaking up and getting back he got tired and said lets be friends first to build a foundation cuz he was stressed from work and everything else. but i couldnt be his friend cuz it hurts me to hang out with him and see him normally and not be able to hold him and stuff. but he was always afraid of losing me so he agreed to get back together. but the fighting kept going and he got real tired and so we went on "exclusive but no commitment." i know that he wont cheat on me and jus want to focus on his work and feel less obligated to do things for me so i agreed. however, after 5 months of that i was sad cuz he referred to me as a friend one day so i wanted to give him REAL space to take care of his things. but i brought it up saying we shouldnt see each other anymore and said the wrong things at the wrong time (near his bday and our supposedly one year) so i regret it and came back. but he got really frustrated with me because he had asked for space and all i gave him was a week. i waited at his apartment to talk to him and he said he dint wanna see me but i dint leave so he blew up on me saying that it was stalkerish and i need psychological help and he'll take legal actions against me if i went to his apt again. i knw he has a trust issue and safety issue and doesnt like poeople but i never thought he would say those things to me. we slept on the same pillow for a year and i walked in the rain to bring him dinner when he worked late. how can he think i would physically harm him and say those things to me as if the history between us meant nothing. its been two months since we fought. i saw him twice. once he pretended he dint see me and walked the other way. the other time i pretended to have moved on and make a short casual convo with him and walked aaway. he still seemed like he doesnt want to tlak to me. i still can't get over him cuz i do love him and i gave him everything. i thought he was my soul mate. i wanna believe that he's not like that and he's jus frustrated cuz i never gave him space. but after two months, how can he leave me feeling ****ty if he really cared about me and love me like he says?
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