Need to break up with guy #1 cuz I'm falling in love with guy #2

[skimmy]

Help!! I'm getting in deeper with guy #2 who happens to be my best friend, and I finally am making a decision that to stay with guy #1 is being unfair to him. So, I've decided to break up with him, as painful as it's going to be (he's a very very nice guy and doesn't deserve to be hurt, deserves lots of happiness) I'm not sure what to say, "I'm falling in love with my best friend?" Where should I have this talk, at his place? or neutral ground? I'd love some responses asap because it has to be today...I originally invited him to be with me when I get my first tattoo, but it's a very momentus occasion that I really want my best friend to be at...in 2.5 hours to boot. Help, anyone?

[Confuggled_one]

be straight up with him. if he deserves happiness.. it isnt gonna come from you. you should tell him ASAP so you dot hurt him even more

[skimmy]

Well, I did it, and it went somewhat better than I thought, though it was still painful...he said we never made promises so it's okay...I asked him if he's okay, he said he'll figure things out...he kept away from me, and on the surface took it really well, but I think he was hurting...I told him, genuinely, that he's a great guy, and I didn't mean it as a line, but he said "I get that a lot" and "great guys usually end up alone" that broke my heart. It just happens that were weren't quite right for each other, at least I'm not right for him (i'm kind of a freaky girl and he's kind of normal) but I really hope he finds someone special and finds happiness.

As for me, though it was painful, I'm glad I did it, because I'm no longer torn between two guys, and my man and I are perfect for each other (we're both freaky with character, I love it!) Thanks for putting up with me.

[Amour77]

Did you tell your now ex-bf that you were leaving him for another guy?

Are you going to keep in touch with your ex or just leave him be? One thing.... stop telling him he is a great guy, that it is a shame things did not work out between you and him, etc.... That will only hurt him more!

[innocntlisy1981]

u should never leave one relationship to jump straight back into another.

[Rooster_DAR]

u should never leave one relationship to jump straight back into another.

 

Ditto, this just suggests you possibly have some underlying issues to deal with.

 

Regards,

[Josalina]

u need to adrees the issues that make the guy u r with now such a bad bf, as u must have loved him once.

what makes man 2 better than what u ahve got, but if aren't happy get out of the relationship but do not jump straight into another one treat them as two seperate ones address the problems with man 1 b4 starting up another relationship with man 2 and leave a space in between to catch up with yourself don't go straight to another man bcos your current one isn't right. find time to see what you really want, b4 u regret it.

[Davis]

Thanks for writing those comments. My ex was having life issues and instead of working on them, and going to badly needed counseling, she bailed on me and went back to her ex the tweaker. She probably slept with him the same week she was trying to break up with me ... oh and she was telling me she loved me while she slept with me. Nice. That's just how a lot of people deal with it. At least you girls have some ethics! Here's my favorite saying:

 

"A WOMAN IS LIKE A MONKEY, SHE NEVER LETS GO OF ONE BRANCH UNTIL SHE HAS HOLD OF ANOTHER ONE" !!

[everlong]

HELLO PEOPLE! HOW COME NO ONE IS ADDRESS THE FACT THAT SHE IS DATING TWO GUYS AT THE SAME TIME AND YET EVERYONE FEELS SORRY SHE IS HAVING A TOUGH TIME...IF SHE WAS DOING WHAT 'U ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING' - DATING ONE AT A TIME...SHE WOULD NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM..SHE CREATED IT

 

sorry, not trying to stink on yah...but its true

 

"Help!! I'm getting in deeper with guy #2 who happens to be my best friend, and I finally am making a decision that to stay with guy #1 is being unfair to him. So, I've decided to break up with him, as painful as it's going to be (he's a very very nice guy and doesn't deserve to be hurt, deserves lots of happiness) I'm not sure what to say, "

 

sounds like a pretty easy choice...u got bored with #1 anyhooo, that's why u went to #2

and u should never assume what someone else will feel and have that dictate your actions...but u already have shown poor decision making choices by dating two men so u might end up screwing things up even more because you are being a chicken...what do i say? come on!

you tell him you have been seen someone else at the same time and you like him better and thats it! its not rocket science people. see confusion always comes into play when you start trying to untie the first mess. now i can tell you fer sure, if you lie while breaking up, now u have created another teir of beytrau...try being honest...its kinda good fer the soul.

 

"I'm falling in love with my best friend?"

i love this falling in love thing. is it just a chikicha thing? i never hear guys say..that..its like i am almost there...but not...lol

 

"Where should I have this talk, at his place? or neutral ground?"

 

neutral. go eat some indian food, have a pint, make the setting relax and celebrate the end don't make it road kill

 

"I'd love some responses asap because it has to be today...I originally invited him to be with me when I get my first tattoo, but it's a very momentus occasion that I really want my best friend to be at...in 2.5 hours to boot. Help, anyone?"

 

no, tattoos are fer the guy u are keeping. tattoos mean alot. i have three. there all mark turning points in my life. inking yer bod is serious. don't spend it with a guy u are dumping. that is hurtful.

[SurvivingHB]

Just be honest with the guy #1 and don't ever turn back. It hurts to hear the truth, but it hurts more to be in a limbo stage. Don't give him any hope, so he can move on. You can do whatever you want with guy #2, but let the #1 go. You have already hurt him in many ways, so don't try to be nice and try to be friends with him. It will only drag him down more.

[skimmy]

Thanks all for your comments, though some of you may not have had all the information and wrote some pretty interesting advice, I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I believe I acting with as much integrity as I could have and it ended pretty well...guy 1 even wrote me a humorous email saying goodbye and thanks for a great time...I don't expect everyone to know where I'm coming from because ultimately, none of us really know each other like our RL friends. And just to reply to some of the responses here, life and relationships are not as black and white as we think they are, there are no easy choices where people are involved. The best thing anyone can do is care for the other persons' well being as much as you can in whatever moment you find yourself in, no matter how fracked up it is. It's no good b*tching about the past, but you can do something about the present and the future.

[Rooster_DAR]

And just to reply to some of the responses here, life and relationships are not as black and white as we think they are, there are no easy choices where people are involved. The best thing anyone can do is care for the other persons' well being as much as you can in whatever moment you find yourself in, no matter how fracked up it is. It's no good b*tching about the past, but you can do something about the present and the future.

 

This is called minimizing.