topnotcher Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 hello everyone, i was just browsing around and i came across this website and i decided to join. i have a situation that i am dealing with and im wondering if you guys can give me some advice. about 7 months ago i wasnt feeling too well so i scheduled an appointment w/ my doctor. well i have an hmo, and we all know that having an hmo means that 9 times outa 10 when your dr is busy, you are going to end up seeing a different dr.lol anyways, i was scheduled with a new dr because mines was really booked up. so he walks in my examination room and he is really cool, about 50 yrs old(im 30) gray hair, nothing special, or nobody that i would normally consider "handsome" but he had this personallity that was HOT! then after my appointment, he took me in his personal office and sat me down, only to write me out a prescription and handed it to me. but before he let me grab it he snatched it back like 4 times, and smiled. i thought that was weird but thought to myself..."whatever" he was also very flirtatious with me, he complimented me on my looks, joked with me and even scheduled me for a 2 week follow up. so i thought nothing more of my visit and went home. well, at my next visit he continues to flirt and asked me for a piece of gum and tells me that he is a "gum freak"!! then after my appointment once again he took me into his personal office.. after my appointment he called my house and left a message on my voice mail telling me to relax and to enjoy my weekend. now i was thinking....this is really weird. well to make a long, long story short, this has been going on for the last 7 months. he is really aware of the age difference because at one appointment thats all he would bring up, was his age. then he asked me what i was doing for the weekend and i told him i was leaving outta town and he looked like i had turned him down. i have started to develope this huge crush on him... i know i know... it's unethical, but hey im only human, plus he has ben buttering me up for the last 7 months! finally last week i saw him and i asked him if he still liked this one particular store he always talks about and he said... "yeah, and as a matter of fact, im going to be there today at my lunch break, because i dont have anything else to do." thats when he started telling me that he also liked starbucks and jamba juice. so, since i had this huge crush on him i told him that he should hang out with me, since he is always complaining about how boring his life is, and he said.."where"? and he honestly seemed all for it, but a bit nervous because all of his nurses were less than a feet away at the nurses station outside the door. then like a DUMMY i asked him if he thought hanging out with his patients was unethical, i think i asked it partly because i had ran outta things to say, and you know how that is when you are nervous, and ANYTHING pops out of your mouth? so he looked at me with this weird look, and said..."yeah it is, it clouds your judgement, and you have to keep it professional." and he became alllll textbook on me!! but for the past 7 months, nothing about his behavior has been professional...nothing! so he still scheduled me for a 3 week follow up because my bloodpressure was a bit high(due to this drama) and now here i am... still having this major crush on this older guy that seems to be confused himself... what do you guys think his deal was?also do you think i blew it when i brought up ethics?
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Change your Dr NOW. It is very unprofessional of him to be flirting with you, calling you at home and letting this go on.
orangele Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Yes it is considered bad ethics to date a patient, but people are people, and sometimes attraction can occur in a professional setting. If you really like this Dr. one way to at least leave a door open is to find a new Dr. and then write him a little note explaining your change, and the uncomfortable situation. Tell him why you are changing doctors, and say that if he would like you would like to have coffee if he is interested. If he dates you he probably wont loose his license over something like this, since you are no longer his patient, and it gives an opportunity for the relationship to develop further.
Guest Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 OH! i feel your pain! I have a really bad crush on my doctor too! Now, obviously your doctor feels the same way about you. If i were you, i would schedule an appointment for the end of the day, so your the last patient. Then casually tell him your going to such and such a place ( a restaurant, a bar, a store) after your appointment, but you hate going to such places alone.... see what he says. tip> make sure the place your going is not too close to his office (he may not want to be seen by nurses etc) go to that place regardless of his reaction...if you both "happen" to meet each other there, it is different from a "date"...let me know how it goes. I'd love tips on flirting with your doctor!
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 i would schedule an appointment for the end of the day, so your the last patient. That is really bad advice and could get the guy fired. The only way ANYTHING could happen is if you changed dr's. AND, I bet he's married.
Recommended Posts