Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 I have been in a committed relationship with Mike for a year and a half now. We don't fight very much, but i have pent up anger because he is a "couch crasher." A MOOCH. A BUM. Ok. i said it. now i feel bad. see its that guilt thing..... He is "homeless" on-and-off for various reasons (roommates split up, eviction, no funds, etc) and always ends up crashing with me. He is not a burden (he does dishes, doesn't leave a mess). But he doesn't split rent with me or help out with bills. My rent is $700/month and $80 in bills. I am financially not struggling, but could use the help. The latest homeless streak has been going on for 4 months now.... I JUST FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT PAY RENT ANYWHERE. I have tried to talk to him about this but it always goes bad because (here are some things he says:) Quotes from mike: He doesn't 'Really" live here b/c his stuff is all in storage He is just a humble house guest and I invite him over He is my boyfriend--i CHOOSE to have him here, he never signed a lease, he is not responsible for my rent, he only comes over at 7pm and leaves the next morning. ETC ETC ETC This has now been going on steadily (the latest homeless streak) for about 4 months!!!!!!!!!!! Also, he is a construction worker who is in and out of work, so sometimes goes for like a month with no work. So, no money so we don't do anything fun....nothing. Can anyone help me figure out why I am so disgruntled? What do I do? Please help me. Is this totally unacceptable and I should just move on? I do care about him and love him, but the love and attraction is starting to go away as i become more and more angry with him for doing this. My mom says that he is "taking advantage of my good nature."
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 When you two go out, does he pay? I think he could help and give $$ for groceries. Unless he's actually living with you then you can't ask him to pay rent. Can I ask? Is he a big spender or he just can't save up money? OR is it really just his job and the inconsistant income...Something makes me wonder if he just is bad with money and always has had some issues...
Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 When you two go out, does he pay? we never go out but he use to pay a lot when we did eat out I think he could help and give $$ for groceries. he buys groceries occasionally but not for me, for us, and we eat very different things Unless he's actually living with you then you can't ask him to pay rent. well....this has been going on consistently for a year and a half.... and he showers at my place, sleeps, uses pots and pans, cooks, etc etc etc. Can I ask? Is he a big spender or he just can't save up money? he has a smoking habit and doesnt budget at all. also, if he sells a big job like a kitchen remodel, he goes and blows $1000 of it on a guitar or something else that is a hobby or interest OR is it really just his job and the inconsistant income...Something makes me wonder if he just is bad with money and always has had some issues... i dont know about that. i do know that he gets creditors calling all the time, doesnt have a savings accoungt, and didnt have a bank acount till he met me
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Well, I can tell you, money is going to be an issue in your relationship until he learns how to be more responsible about it. No more creditors calling, and hopefully he can save some dough in the bank account. Other than this issue, are you happy with him? Can you see yourself marrying this guy one day? These are all things you have to ask yourself because if he doesn't change his ways, life is going to be difficult when it comes to him handling money...
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