Rockett Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Hi. I'm new. Just feel like ranting... I feel like I'm taking a risk talking here. But I don't know why I'm scared. I wasn't the one having an affair. I forgot I was supposed to be getting over it. Why do I feel inadequate? I feel like I wasn't doing enough for my marriage, for my husband. But I have no idea what I was not doing? Do I need to take sex pills, talk more, talk less, lose weight, gain weight!! My self-esteem has went to an all time low (especially upon seeing the other woman.) And should I have some blame too? Who can wake up every day to their husband and not know he was having an affair or unhappily married? He didn't tell me he was unhappily married but I read the other woman website... And I believe them. What if he told her he was staying for the kids and not love? I Love him! How do I know he cares anymore! He might just be staying for the children! So, I'm making him miserable and he won't even have the guts to tell me. I had to find out by myself. Am I stupid? I wonder if the other woman was laughing her butt off "Hahah! What a fool that wife! She's sooo dumb! Actually still in love with her husband who's f- me! hahahaha!" I bet he said that too. (I'm sorry this is broken thoughts btw..I'm angry and since I can't blame everyone, or one single person then I blame myself) Anyone else felt like this after "D-day" as they call it. More like enlightment to me, such that I ADORE MY HUBBY BUT HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ME! DAMN IT ALL! Need help. I don't want to talk to no stinky therapist. Marriage counselors are just like my hubby in trying to convice me to work out this.
Freedom Now Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 I can assure you that very few, if any, OW laugh their butts off in regards to these situations. Often times, the OW is stuck in the mire of deceit, pain, guilt, and torture during the course of the affair. Instead of laughing, I would imagine that, IF she cares about your husband, she is crying more than laughing. You are not stupid. You were deceived just as many of us were. Unfortunately, the only one who can answer your questions is your husband. And, he is not revealing much to you. How typical. Go with your gut. Women's intuition is very, very strong. Unfortunately for you, only HE knows why he is staying. So, do what is best for YOU to heal. Take care of YOU. Love yourself. I am sure there is much to love. I am truly sorry for your pain. It sucks. I know. I have been where you are and I have been the OW. In addition, no one held a gun to your husband's head and told him to cheat on you. HE is responsible for the infidelity, not you. Don't ever blame yourself for his mistake. And don't let him blame you. It simply isn't true. My peace to you. Freedom Now
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