ANSWERSFORYA Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 He is married.I was working with him but never got to even saying him.I could never bring myself to even talk to him for 6 months.But i could tell that he loves me.He could never keep his eyes off me.Esp,when i dress up.I noticed him because of this.Always looking at me,sometimes gwaking. Other people saw how he looked at me.Anyway i could never bring myself to look into his eyes.I was sooo mesmerized.Long storry short.Iam not working there anymore.I called him and told him i like him and i just wanted to say hi.He told me 'you know iam married 'and i said yes,but i specified that i only want to be a friend ,to call and talk to him'.I told him i won't be calling him because its hard to reach him at work and that he can call me.He was very sweet and concerned and asked me if i was okey?if i needed anything.I told him i was fine and was in need of nothing.He told me to call him if i needed anything.I told him he can call me because he has my number.He said he will.Well iam not a needy person.I love my life and could live with or without anyone.I just truely want a friend because i cannot go through what most relationship go through.I truely love my life. I have a question tho.What does he mean when he say" do you need anything"?or "you can call me if you need anything"?Thanks for answering.
JAZZY Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Honey please! You're setting yourself up for failure. Go and find you an unmarried friend, it sounds to me that you would be his "plaything". He's looking for an affair. He told you up front he's married, so he's letting you know right there, HE AINT LEAVING THE MRS. (and as a matter of fact, you knew it already). So dont play around with someone else's husband, because you wouldn't want it done to you. (if you ever marry) You deserve better! I dont care about his looking and gawking at you, go find your own man friend. If he calls you....... end it before it gets started! Seek and you shall find!
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Do not be 'friends' with him...He is married and off the market. Plus, I'm sure his wife wouldn't appreciate this. He is wrong to be telling you to call him if you need him...Unless he's just being 'nice' and really means 'please, don't call'... You say you love your life, could live with or without anyone, so I say, if you need a friend, turn to a girl friend or a single man that you know. Not a married man. Respect that.
elijahBailey Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 oh dear, oh dear...... I smell another storm brewing. For goodness sakes, he's married !
Bluepetals Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 You have got to be kidding me! Geez woman what is your problem? Hes married hes off the market he doesnt want you He doesnt need you he is not looking at you If he was he would have said it when you did work with him and he didnt. Why are you going after someone elses man? Cant you get your own? If you are so independent and dont have to have someone then why are you resorting to these desperate measures? Men look even at us married women that doesnt mean they love us it means they want to boink us maybe and then sometimes they are just looking because we are there. What makes you so certain he loves you when he is just looking at you? Man every man in America is in love with me if that is what love is!!
Author ANSWERSFORYA Posted October 15, 2006 Author Posted October 15, 2006 Is that what marriage is all about.Being in a cage because of jealousy significan't others.Well i will befriend him if he wants to be my friend.And thats all there is to it.I don't care for needy and cligy relationships at all.I have grown wayyyy to much.It frightens me to really get invoved with individuals who have not gone through self recovery.I know you guys don't understand but this guy knows my character and thats the reason he would say that.I don't think he would ask me to call if he did not want to talk to me.Plus i think he is very mature.Sometimes people fall in love with married people,it just happens and love is special and hard to find it.Why loose it over a jealousy spouse.Yet you are not cheating on them?Please be nice to anyone who truly loves you.Its a gift.Just know your bounderies.Some,people go through life without even experiencing real love.So they don't even know what love is.They are so desolate and so deprived and bitter too about life.Please stay away from such and i will too.Judgemental,self righteous,and of course controlling,jealous,needy,clingy,can't live without you kind,no self worth,untrustwothy,no integrity.Poor minds and only thinks the worst out of something sweet.Little minds that think everytime you talk to the opposite sex you are having a fling.Instead of embracing friends as gifts to help you grow they don't like change.They just remain in their own miserable pit.I love to fly away ,spread my wings and meet new people who i think are good for me.I treasure them too.
Romeo Must Die Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Seriously. What part of "you know I'm married" didnt you understand. It isn't a challenge. it's meant to be a polite warning.. I'm sure he was flattered that you called him, but I think you are a little goofy. He was just trying to be nice. Its obvious MM knew you werent calling him for the sake of friendship, so I wouldnt take his final words to heart. I'm sure he is telling his secretary right now not to put any more of your calls through to him. Hopefully you will take the hint.
Yamaha Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 If you love him are you always going to be happy with friendship and your boundaries? Just a question you should ask yourself with an unavailable man.
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Is that what marriage is all about.Being in a cage because of jealousy significan't others.Well i will befriend him if he wants to be my friend.And thats all there is to it.I don't care for needy and cligy relationships at all.I have grown wayyyy to much.It frightens me to really get invoved with individuals who have not gone through self recovery.I know you guys don't understand but this guy knows my character and thats the reason he would say that.I don't think he would ask me to call if he did not want to talk to me.Plus i think he is very mature.Sometimes people fall in love with married people,it just happens and love is special and hard to find it.Why loose it over a jealousy spouse.Yet you are not cheating on them?Please be nice to anyone who truly loves you.Its a gift.Just know your bounderies.Some,people go through life without even experiencing real love.So they don't even know what love is.They are so desolate and so deprived and bitter too about life.Please stay away from such and i will too.Judgemental,self righteous,and of course controlling,jealous,needy,clingy,can't live without you kind,no self worth,untrustwothy,no integrity.Poor minds and only thinks the worst out of something sweet.Little minds that think everytime you talk to the opposite sex you are having a fling.Instead of embracing friends as gifts to help you grow they don't like change.They just remain in their own miserable pit.I love to fly away ,spread my wings and meet new people who i think are good for me.I treasure them too. Remember this when you are married some day. I hope you are understanding when your husband 'befriends' another woman, and allows a close friendship to grow between them. Then again, seeing as you don't get what we're trying to say, I guess you'll have NO problem with this type of friendship forming.......
Author ANSWERSFORYA Posted October 15, 2006 Author Posted October 15, 2006 You have to let people go in order to be really happy.Not everyone will love you back.That doesn't mean that you can't love them or like them.Its called unconditional love.We can't controll falling in love as human beings but lettinggo is being unselfish.That leaves you with just love to give and friendship without being needy or clingy or hurtful or even expecting anything.You just want to give and not to receive.This comes from just how much we have personal growth.
Author ANSWERSFORYA Posted October 15, 2006 Author Posted October 15, 2006 you are wasting your time with your time because you are truly not happy and you will never be.Unconditional love is needy,demanding,jelousy,selfish,self centered.....controlling,and all the dirt.Then i truly think you need to seek happiness from within first before thinking you could give love or friendship to ANYONE.Thats why there is soooo many broken relationships and unhappy ones.You have to be truly happy withyourself first.Wish you luck folks.
JAZZY Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 You poor thing! A blind man can see through this. As everyone else has that has replied to your post. Keep in mind, YOU asked a question on here and got plenty of answers & advice; You dont have to take anyones advice. Futhermore, About that soapbox you're trying to create ("Some, people go through life without even experiencing real love and judgemental crap"... Yeah, Yada! Yada! Yada! Whatever! ..... UHH NO, Try Again!! So instead, take the hard way out until you finally run into THAT BRICK WALL THAT YOU'RE FACING! You are the kind, that gives a bad name, this is why "some" Men act as they do and treat "some" women like they do because of women like YOU! You are very selfish & very inconsiderate, while being DESPERATE. That makes for a very Broken Heart!
Guest Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 I agree with Jazzy. Period. You poor thing! A blind man can see through this. As everyone else has that has replied to your post. Keep in mind, YOU asked a question on here and got plenty of answers & advice; You dont have to take anyones advice. Futhermore, About that soapbox you're trying to create ("Some, people go through life without even experiencing real love and judgemental crap"... Yeah, Yada! Yada! Yada! Whatever! ..... UHH NO, Try Again!! So instead, take the hard way out until you finally run into THAT BRICK WALL THAT YOU'RE FACING! You are the kind, that gives a bad name, this is why "some" Men act as they do and treat "some" women like they do because of women like YOU! You are very selfish & very inconsiderate, while being DESPERATE. That makes for a very Broken Heart!
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 Jazzy, somehow your reply got ahead of mine so my "Huh" comment looks like it's referring to what you said! My reply was referring to posts 10 and 11... Good post reply BTW!
Bluepetals Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Woman that man is going to walk all over your heart you are so stupid!
stillafool Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 You have got to be kidding me! Geez woman what is your problem? Hes married hes off the market he doesnt want you He doesnt need you he is not looking at you If he was he would have said it when you did work with him and he didnt. Why are you going after someone elses man? Cant you get your own? If you are so independent and dont have to have someone then why are you resorting to these desperate measures? Men look even at us married women that doesnt mean they love us it means they want to boink us maybe and then sometimes they are just looking because we are there. What makes you so certain he loves you when he is just looking at you? Man every man in America is in love with me if that is what love is!! Exactly!!!! If you love your life so much why don't you get your own man. Why are you calling and trying to seduce someone else's husband? If you are so dressed up to get his attention I'm sure he isn't the only one looking at you - the women are looking too. People probably know what you're up to. Have some pride and respect for yourself! Also your ego is way out of control if you think this guy is in love with you because he looked at you hard. You certainly are no friend to this guy or you wouldn't try to bring harm to him and his family by purposely setting out to destroy them.
hopeto Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 he is married!!!!!!!!!!MARRIED!!!!!!!! do you not understand what you and so many other people do when you imbark on a man that is married!!!! YOU HAVE NO INTENTIONS FOR BEING A "FRIEND" !! you said in your post that he looks at you and that he is in love with you...sheeeesh what ever, just because a man looks at you and you could not look him in the eyes does not mean he is in love with you!!!! he may think you are nice looking and that is the human in us all we all look and window shop it is the key if you are an adult enough to not act on it. however there are some idiots that do. he was telling you that he is married and that only if you need something would he help you but other than that you have no chance in hell. GOOD FOR HIM. you have to relize that this man is married, has a wife and maybe even children and you could be a home wrecker. it would be your fault on a marriage that would be wrecked you made the call first!!!!!!!!! he would also be to blame if he acted on it but hopeful he cares enough about his family and his children if he has any. for futher info on romance and trying to hook up with someone try not to call a married man to wreck his home.
whichwayisup Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Just because a man flatters you and wants to f*ckk ya, doesn't mean he LOVES you. Remember, many men can separate love and emotion from sex. Honestly, if a guy just wanted to screw me for the sake of screwing me, I wouldn't feel so flattered...Especially if I liked him! Be careful for what you wish for, it could turn and bite you in the bum!
typical Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Poor minds and only thinks the worst out of something sweet.Little minds that think everytime you talk to the opposite sex you are having a fling. Well, honestly, isnt that what you are trying to do? Have a fling with him? Its no surprise why these "poor minds" that you speak of that think the worst think the way they do. This: But i could tell that he loves me.He could never keep his eyes off me and this: Esp,when i dress up.I noticed him because of this.Always looking at me,sometimes gwaking. Other people saw how he looked at me as well as this: Anyway i could never bring myself to look into his eyes.I was sooo mesmerized. and especially this: called him and told him i like him and i just wanted to say hi. are all very good reasons as to why your intentions to just have a normal friendship with this man are unclean. Your intentions are dirty. You know it. You are interested in him, far more than a normal "friend" would be. There is no harm in becoming friends with the opposite of sex, even if they are married. The harm comes when your intentions are bad. Your intentions are not pure. There is a difference with becoming friends with a man who is married, and its an innocent thing, you are both friendly and there is no attraction. But the point is, with you and this man, it is not an innocent thing. You are attracted. You werent friends, you called to try to set up a friendship. It didnt just happen. When you want to be friends with someone, you dont just call up out of the blue to start up a friendship, like it is a contract or something. Friendships happens naturally. You calling him up came with bad intentions. Your intention is to see where it leads. You put a false name of "friends" when you know that you are being manipulating and sneaky. At the same time, you are bashing people who have "little minds". I am not sure where your anger and resentment comes from, but your thoughts are very harsh and strong. It makes me wonder if you know his wife, because you seem to be speaking and implying as if you know that this is how she is: Judgemental,self righteous,and of course controlling,jealous,needy,clingy,can't live without you kind,no self worth,untrustwothy,no integrity.Poor minds and only thinks the worst out of something sweet.Little minds that think everytime you talk to the opposite sex you are having a fling.Instead of embracing friends as gifts to help you grow they don't like change.They just remain in their own miserable pit Call me crazy, but I dont think you are trying to do "something sweet" by becoming friends with this man. And why would his woman (or anyone) want to become your friend as well, knowing that you are trying to intentionally steal her husband? Last time I checked, women arent too happy with other women who intentionally (and obviously) are trying to steal their men. Women can usually pick up on this vibe, and it makes them not want to leave their man around you. We can't controll falling in love as human beings but lettinggo is being unselfish. So are you suggesting that if a wife who has fallen in love with her husband, she should let him go? Let him go to where? To you??!! You dont think that she should fight to keep what she has? Dont you think that is selfish??? I will tell you what personal growth and being unselfish is.....Its "lettinggo" as you say, to trying to become friends with a married man. You dont need to have a friendship with a married man that you are attracted to and lusting after. Why dont you practice your own advice and let go, and be unselfish and look somewhere else to have your needs and desires met? Why dont you be "unselfish" and leave their marriage alone? After all, it was you who called him first. He didnt try to start something up with you. He might have looked when you were flinging it in front of his face, but when you left, you noticed he didnt call you. You called him. How are you any different from those "little minds" that you described? Arent you doing the same thing in this circumstance? Arent you being controlling, self righteous, selfish, no self worth, untrustworthy, with no integrity? Dont you think going after a married man is doing those things? Does it have to be a married man? Are there not enough men in the world, that you have to have one woman catch him for you first? Or are you just being lazy?? You have alot of good points, alot of good ideas, but you are going in the wrong direction. Try using all those positive things you speak of FOR positive things, instead of intentionally setting out to be destructive and harmful.
FELIZE Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 "When you want to be friends with someone, you dont just call up out of the blue to start up a friendship, like it is a contract or something. Friendships happens naturally." Here-Here Typical !
typical Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Here-Here Typical ! Thanks, Felize.. I mean, honestly, who calls to "set up" a friendship?? "Hi, my name is Typical, and I am just calling because I have a reservation to be your friend starting today" The way you went about it, answersforya, was almost like a business arrangement. On a side note, Answersforya, Imagine yourself as his wife. How would you feel if a woman (who felt just like you do about her husband) wanted to start a friendship with your husband?
Bluepetals Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 From what Im reading in her posts she is so great no man would ever want anyone but her I mean all he has to do is look at her and hes in love. Someone else asked this already but I have to raise the point again. If you love someone you do not set out to destroy everything that is obviously important to them like their marriage, the children of that marriage, their home, and all that the marriage accomplished and attained in its duration so if you love a person you dont go out and ruin lives based on your selfish useless needs. This is where a lot of cheaters dont get it. If a person loves you and you are already committed to someone else that person will leave you alone and let you have the life you have committed yourself too not hound you and chase you and have sex with you all the while destroying everything close to you. I had a married man I worked with years ago tell me when he went home at night he was so happy because he had been with me all day and his wife picked up on it. He said he was always looking forward to coming to work to be with me so I told him that he was my friend but we needed to back up and think of what this could do to us all if it went further. He meant too much to me to hurt him and his family like that. So we remained friends and we are still friends.
FELIZE Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 "I mean, honestly, who calls to "set up" a friendship?" Exactly Typical. It's funny how Answersforya...........dosen't have any answers!
Rooster_DAR Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 I detect selfishness and inmaturity. Cheers!
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