Babbs Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Ok everyone, I'm wondering if anyone ever felt this way and how to get over this. My affair with the MM ended about 1 year ago, but I still hurt from it and I still want to hurt him and I hope his life is miserable. I really did love this MM and then his wife found out. But instead of ending it with dignity, he started yelling at me and hanging up on me when he would call me on the phone. What can I say? I was very hurt and angry. He accused me of stalking him (making phone calls to him and hanging up). I was so angry, I posted his picture on Don't Date Him Girl. He found out and sent a threatening email to me. I deleted the post but I'm still angry at him for the way he treated me and hurt me. I guess what it really boils down to, is he didn't care for me and I didn't mean anything to him (if this is how he treated me after it was over). I am just hurt and I feel like I want to bug him the rest of his life. I have to get over this feeling though - can anyone help me? Thanks in advance.
Cheshire Cat Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Concentrate on how "bugging him the rest of your life" would damage your reputation and decrease your chances of getting together with a single nice guy. Some women might not want to date a guy whose pic appeared in that "do not date him" website, but how many men in their right mind would date someone whose favourite hobby is creating trouble in a former MM's life?!?
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 I have to get over this feeling though - can anyone help me? Thanks in advance. You have been in the anger stage for too long and it's eating you up. You need to get therapy - and get this anger under control. You cannot let him ruin your life like this! So please do see a counselor and get professional help. In the meantime, check out the posts here in the OW/OM section. You will find out that you are not alone in feeling the way you do. Most of us ex-OWs will feel betrayed by our exMMs. But most of us do get over the anger relatively soon. Knowing that your exMM is like most MMs on the planet will help you move on.
BUTAFLY Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Is he the first man you have dated? Probably not. Is he the first to break your heart this badly? If the answer is yes then you have been lucky in love. Try not to let one SOB who snuck under your radar ruin your love life. Get back on track and let his wife deal w/him. Your better & deserve much more than that.
Joelle Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 You have been in the anger stage for too long and it's eating you up. You need to get therapy - and get this anger under control. You cannot let him ruin your life like this! So please do see a counselor and get professional help. In the meantime, check out the posts here in the OW/OM section. You will find out that you are not alone in feeling the way you do. Most of us ex-OWs will feel betrayed by our exMMs. But most of us do get over the anger relatively soon. Knowing that your exMM is like most MMs on the planet will help you move on. I agree with this. Also, realize that he doesn't care for you, so why should you care enough to be angry with him? He's not worth the feelings of anger. Be glad you're rid of him.
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 This is really good advice by Joelle. Another way of looking this is, chalk it up as a bad experience that you'll never put yourself in again. We all go through one or two yukky relationships at some point, usually in our teens, and one gets hurt, but we learn from it and know for the next time NOT to put up with. Bottom line, the guy was married and even if in the moment he meant all that he said to you, he really couldn't commit ANYTHING to you because he is married. Get therapy to help you cope with your feelings and the pain. I do hope you're able to move past this and live a life which makes you happy.
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