Abenaki Blood Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Is it possible that I have realized all of the flaws I have had over the past year in one day? I am not only realizing these flaws in hopes of saving my marriage, but in hopes of saving myself. The things that have impacted my marriage have also impacted myself. Since I have told my wife and myself that I would go back to the person that I was a year ago, I have felt like a whole new person. I look at everything different now. It reminds me of that song "Live like you were dying." No, I am not litterally dying, but I was emotionally dying. I just feel so alive right now, so happy... all while going through the hardest time of my life. The hope and faith I have.. I could have never imagined it was there. It's like I took off this Halloween Costume that I have been wearing for the past year. Does this make sense? I know people can either go into depression or they can make a stand and make a change today, not tomorrow. I also know things don't change overnight but this change sure feels great.
dgiirl Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 It sounds like you've had an awaken. And it's an important first step. But realizing your faults is easy. Fixing them and never repeating them is difficult. When you are in crisis mode, it's really easy to pay attention to what you are doing and doing things right. But when you not in crisis mode, when you are in day to day living, we tend to loose focus and that is where we slack. To make real lasting change is to find solutions that we can implement even while we're not in crisis mode.
Author Abenaki Blood Posted October 14, 2006 Author Posted October 14, 2006 You want to know two of my biggest flaws? 1. Being on the computer all of the time when she was home or playing video games online. 2. Never wanting to go to her friend's house with her. I never realized it meant so much to her. I figured she would want to go without me. Since all of this, I have grown to hate the computer and I will only go on from time to time. Not sure why I allowed the computer to suck me in. I sold my XBOX 360 and I haven't looked back. I haven't missed it. I really feel I will never go back to that lifestyle. With or without her.
dgiirl Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 1. Being on the computer all of the time when she was home or playing video games online. been there, done that. I gave up the gaming community a few years ago because of all the time it sucked out of me.
Author Abenaki Blood Posted October 14, 2006 Author Posted October 14, 2006 been there, done that. I gave up the gaming community a few years ago because of all the time it sucked out of me. Does anyone know why gaming/computers consume us? I do suffer from OCD, I wonder if that is a reason for it?
PWSX3 Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 I would have to say yes, because I feel I had an awaking in just one day. I agree and disagree with Dgiirl, I don't think it is easy realizing what your faults are because me & the W had been seeing a counselor for a few years before my eyes were finally opened, but I do agree with it's going to be VERY hard to work out the problems. Yes realizing what your doing wrong is the first step, then wanting to do something about them is next, then doing them is a life change and that is where the work will start and never end. It is funny how things take up our lives and you think they are important yet once you start doing without them it's no big deal. I am a "BIG" gear head and I watched a lot of TV but now I don't even turn it on until around 7:00 and sometimes it doesn't even get turned on. Instead I walk, ride my bike or listen to music while I do things around the house. It used to be the first thing that went on when we walked into the house after the lights but not anymore. My situation might be different but once you start doing things to better yourself other things start to fall into place and you start seeing life in a different way that's for sure. Good luck seeing what you need to change and I hope you will be able to keep it up!!!!!
Author Abenaki Blood Posted October 14, 2006 Author Posted October 14, 2006 I would have to say yes, because I feel I had an awaking in just one day. I agree and disagree with Dgiirl, I don't think it is easy realizing what your faults are because me & the W had been seeing a counselor for a few years before my eyes were finally opened, but I do agree with it's going to be VERY hard to work out the problems. Yes realizing what your doing wrong is the first step, then wanting to do something about them is next, then doing them is a life change and that is where the work will start and never end. It is funny how things take up our lives and you think they are important yet once you start doing without them it's no big deal. I am a "BIG" gear head and I watched a lot of TV but now I don't even turn it on until around 7:00 and sometimes it doesn't even get turned on. Instead I walk, ride my bike or listen to music while I do things around the house. It used to be the first thing that went on when we walked into the house after the lights but not anymore. My situation might be different but once you start doing things to better yourself other things start to fall into place and you start seeing life in a different way that's for sure. Good luck seeing what you need to change and I hope you will be able to keep it up!!!!! Thank you. That was very motivational for me and you really summed it up. I think we share the same past... doing something we thought was so much a part of our lives only to realize we don't need them.
PWSX3 Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Since the W moved out and I only see my son every other week I try and spend time with him and it's amazing how much fun he gets out of just setting at the table and playing a couple rounds of card games. Sure we turn the stereo on and listen to music but the TV is off and we are enjoying each others company even though I'm not much of a game playing person I am also enjoying time with him.
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