Matt L Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Howdy folks, I'm the new guy. Posting in this kind of a setting is a bit new for me... usually when I post online it's for help with my car... not with... myself... As the title of this thread suggests, I've recently discovered that I'm terrified of, if not absolutely hateful of committment. In fact, it's to the point now where I almost resent people who can commit. I'm a late bloomer in every sense of the phrase really. It wasn't until I was half-way done with highschool that I finally found my social identity by growing out my hair, listening to and writing music, and working on cars. Other than a handful of unrequited crushes, my love-life in highschool was extraordinarily dim. Let's fast forward a bit now... I've seen, maybe, 2 or 3 women exclusively this year?... This was opposed to 0 for previous years mind you, and all those relationships seemed lacking in substance. I found myself taking an interest in a woman, getting to know her, then becoming bored out of my mind within 2 weeks, maybe 3 if we were lucky. Basically, I'd get to know her and realize she was completely disinteresting. Oh, and these are the relationships that were prompted by me. There were a few other, very short-lived ones that a couple of women had prompted... I got weirded out by the closeness involved, and quickly hit the 'abort' button there too. Now you don't need to tell me that I'm emotionally unavailable and totally avoidant and distrusting of people, because I know that, in fact I don't really seem to mind it that much. Being emotionally distant keeps things safe, 'crazy as that sounds... and yes... safe IS boring... and I realize that at some point I'm going to have to leave my safety circle and venture to the dark side... but I'm gonna have to be pretty damn motivated to reach that point. So far, I've yet to meet a woman that exudes trustworthiness, and not only makes me feel like I "could" entrust her with my darkest secrets, but that "should" as well. Frankly, if a woman knew what was really going on inside my head, she would lose interest in me. ... and these are all things that are entailed in committment... trustworthiness... honesty... stuff I don't really want to buy into. To me, trusting someone instantly spells danger. It leaves room for stuff to go wrong, and it prevents the said stuff from falling inside of my realm of influence; I could be ruined. Then of course, tack-on the fact that I have some kind of reduced libido or something, and my motivation for a comitted relationship drops even further. I won't pretend like I don't feel empty or lonely when I see my friends in happy, committed relationships, because I do. 'Chokes me up to think about in fact. What is their secret? Trust? (Yuck) I mean I suppose in some cases a long-term relationship could be based solely on sex, but you don't need to be committed to one person to have lots of sex as I'm sure mother-nature will gladly demonstrate. Writing this out has helped I guess... I've always envisioned myself as someone who would eventually bring up children as he reached a certain age... but whether or not that will include a marriage... I'm honestly questioning. Love is crap, afterall.
phyrespryte Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Your post bothers me because I've been trying to figure this commitment phobe thing all night. To me it doesn't seem like you're totally afraid of commitment. And to be honest, if you were bored out of your mind by those women after 3 weeks... that doesn't sound like a commitment problem. It sounds like you didn't have a connection with those women. And there's nothing wrong with that. I think you've got some trust issues which I know you've already said. But then that's normal too. Me and my friend talk about this all the time. We wonder if technology has any influence on things because it seems nowadays it's easier to cheat on someone and never find out about it. He's got a trust thing also, but he's been sucking it up because this girl hasn't let him down so far. The only thing that really sounded like a commitment issue was when you mentioned the closeness thing freaking you out. But if you've been dating someone for less than 3 weeks...it makes me wonder if those women were just coming on too strong. Like they were clingy needy women and you were right to run away from them. I just think you haven't met anyone worth trusting yet. I mean why would you share your secrets with someone you find boring? Anyways, what's your social life like? Do you have any friends you consider close enough to share your "dark" secrets with? If you do...then I don't think you have a serious trust issue. You're just cautious.
dgiirl Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Posting in this kind of a setting is a bit new for me... usually when I post online it's for help with my car... not with... myself... lol that was pretty funny. Other than a handful of unrequited crushes, my love-life in highschool was extraordinarily dim. Highschool sucked for most people. Dont let it define who you are today. I totally agree with phyrespryte. It doesnt sound like you have a commitment problem, it just sounds like you havent met the right person yet. If you dated 100's of women and you found them all to be boring after 3 weeks, then I'd say there might be a problem with you. But from your posts, I gather you havent had much experience in dating. And it's extremely rare to find the first person you date, and build up this whole love and commitment and trust and honest relationship and ready to marry and make a life with that person in only 3 weeks. If you did, I'd be running far from you myself. Sadly, there is a lot of people out there, mostly woman, who get attached really early in the relationship. And if these women were expecting more from you after 3 weeks, then you were right to bail. Since you were the pursuer, I'm not sure if you were overly eager in the beginning, calling every day and rushing the relationship. If you are doing that, then tone it down a bit. Ease into the relationship slowly. You mentioned being exclusive with 2 or 3 women, but then the relationship only lasted 2 or 3 weeks. Why are you in an exclusive relationship after only 2 or 3 weeks? You're just getting to know one another, feeling each other out and seeing if there's any relationship material in the first 2 weeks. Did you actually have the "talk"? Who brought it up? If the women brought it up, no wonder you bailed. If you brought that up, wtf? So right now, I do not think your problem is a commitment problem. However, you do mention a few other things in your post that concern me. You mention about being weirded out by closeness. Are you really weirded out by closeness, or that it developed too fast for your comfortzone? I would totally get weirded out if I just met a guy and he started hugging and kissing and telling me he loved me on the first date. Whatever that timeline is for you is ok. One date, two dates, a month, 6 months, whatever it is, you set the pace to the one who needs more time. However, are you weirded out by closeness in general? How about your family? Your mom, sister, close women in your life who are simply friends? Are you able to show affection towards them? If not, then this is something you might want to work on. I have a difficult time showing affection to people, but it's something I'd like to change and do work on. You also mention about keeping people far because it's safe. This, I think, is an issue you might need to work on. But really ask yourself if this is really true, or have you just read too much mumbojumbo on commitmentphobic and starting to believe this about yourself. Again, you are not going to build a love-lasting relationship with a woman after knowing her only for 2 weeks. So you cant use them as a basis for determining this. Use other people in your life, and see if that's true about them. You also talk about the things running through your head and if people really knew they'd loose interest in you. Since you dont give any examples, it's hard for me to offer any advice, but if it's negative things about the person, if you are passing judgements, then you need to start to control those thoughts. Again, this isnt a commiment problem, but either a self-confidence issue and/or an anxiety issue. Since you bring up the low-libido, do you know the cause of it? I think I naturally have a low libido. But I also have anxiety and I know that makes my low-libido almost non-existent. If you are worried about commitment, about trusting people, about this and that, then it's natural that your anxiety is going to have an affect on your sex-drive. What you have to figure out is what are the main things you have an issue with that you want to change. It's normal to not feel ready to commit to a person after knowing them for only 2 weeks. It's normal not to fully trust them with your heart. It's ok to not ever want to get married too, if it's truely something you dont want, as opposed to something you're hiding from. But you need to be able to give people an honest chance to get to know you and you to them. If you see yourself pushing away people you really do enjoy spending company with, then challenge your comfortzone just a little and stay just a little longer. You still might bail the week after, but with each new woman you can try to stay a little longer. If you find yourself not really affectionate, and you want to change this, then show some affection to the people currently in your life. If you find your thoughts race, thinking negatively about others or about yourself, causing you to have a low confidence, then work on that. Try to analyze your thoughts and figure out where those thoughts came from and why.
Author Matt L Posted October 14, 2006 Author Posted October 14, 2006 Ahh... that's some good stuff. It would seem as though I've picked the right forums to vent my frustrations/get help on. Okay, so maybe it's not committment after all... I mean I don't want to be vulnerable, but I suppose that's normal now isn't it. Perhaps the real root of my problem is that I'm simply picking the wrong women. My past romances (at least the onces I initiated) were all really quiet, shy girls, and since I'm a somewhat quiet, somewhat shy guy I always figured it would work, but I'm learning this isn't the case. I think I'm really just feeling a lack of ability on the woman's part to "hold her own" in my personal arena, which leaves me feeling bored after a short period of time. Thank you both for helping me realize that there's probably nothing seriously wrong with me... I'm such an alarmist sometimes. Damn committment hype.
phyrespryte Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Perhaps the real root of my problem is that I'm simply picking the wrong women. My past romances (at least the onces I initiated) were all really quiet, shy girls, and since I'm a somewhat quiet, somewhat shy guy I always figured it would work, but I'm learning this isn't the case. There's nothing wrong with shy girls. I'm a little biased because I'm one. They just require a little more effort until they open up. I mean they could be really fascinating people, but you'll never know because they're too scared to speak up. Or they could just be so new to the whole dating thing they're afraid of turning you off. I guess it might be good to go out with someone more outgoing. But I wouldn't give up on shy girls entirely.
Author Matt L Posted October 16, 2006 Author Posted October 16, 2006 There's nothing wrong with shy girls. I'm a little biased because I'm one. They just require a little more effort until they open up. I mean they could be really fascinating people, but you'll never know because they're too scared to speak up. Or they could just be so new to the whole dating thing they're afraid of turning you off. I guess it might be good to go out with someone more outgoing. But I wouldn't give up on shy girls entirely. Right on, right on. I never meant to say I felt there was anything wrong with shy girls. Believe me, I know plenty, and they're all amazing! I think I've been picking shy girls a lot because many times they're, generally, less experienced in this area, and my charm and charisma become all-the-more effective thusly, at least that's how it seems, hrm. However, I like someone who can not only take-in my compliments and flirty mannerisms, but can skillfully retaliate! (Ohhh that's good stuff. ) None of the shy-girls I dated were up to the challenge, ah well, moving on.
phyrespryte Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 For some reason I get the feeling you're someone I know. Anyways. Good luck then with your search.
luvtoto Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Ahh... that's some good stuff. It would seem as though I've picked the right forums to vent my frustrations/get help on. Okay, so maybe it's not committment after all... I mean I don't want to be vulnerable, but I suppose that's normal now isn't it. Perhaps the real root of my problem is that I'm simply picking the wrong women. My past romances (at least the onces I initiated) were all really quiet, shy girls, and since I'm a somewhat quiet, somewhat shy guy I always figured it would work, but I'm learning this isn't the case. I think I'm really just feeling a lack of ability on the woman's part to "hold her own" in my personal arena, which leaves me feeling bored after a short period of time. Thank you both for helping me realize that there's probably nothing seriously wrong with me... I'm such an alarmist sometimes. Damn committment hype. I don't think you sound like a C-P person to me. Just sounds like you haven't met the right woman yet. Maybe you are dating women that are too inexperienced. I have no idea what your age is, but have you ever tried to date an older woman? A woman that has been through a lot in her life, and learned from her mistakes? I am sure she would be very interesting for you. ... or not.
Author Matt L Posted October 17, 2006 Author Posted October 17, 2006 For some reason I get the feeling you're someone I know. Anyways. Good luck then with your search. Ooh, scandalous. I don't think you sound like a C-P person to me. Just sounds like you haven't met the right woman yet. Maybe you are dating women that are too inexperienced. I have no idea what your age is, but have you ever tried to date an older woman? A woman that has been through a lot in her life, and learned from her mistakes? I am sure she would be very interesting for you. ... or not. I'm two weeks shy of 20, and I've never attempted courting an older woman... how much older are we talking here? I'd feel a bit weird shooting for much older than ... say.. 23 or 24? ... but yeah, that's good advice, I'm going to remember that.
BabyPhoenix Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Hi Matt, I think that all the points brought up by the previous posters are valid and important for you to think about. I would like to bring up two items that I haven’t yet seen addressed. First, can you explain what you mean about your low libido? Do you have sexual thoughts about women? Men? Do you masturbate? Second, it struck me when you said this: Frankly, if a woman knew what was really going on inside my head, she would lose interest in me. Do you think yourself to be that boring? I think you must probe deeper and find out why you think a woman would loose interest. I have a hunch that you are not yet comfortable with who you are – I mean really comfortable and unashamed of everything that you are - and that these thoughts are a component of that. This leads me to believe that your fear of commitment is in fact a mask or a façade for your real fear – fear of rejection. You are afraid of opening up, because if people see the “real” you, then you will be rejected. Don’t be ashamed of who you are, or whatever dark thoughts go around in your mind. If someone is willing to love you, they will love you for you, and your deep thoughts are a component of you. Yes, you might get rejected, but you might also find someone who innately understands you.
HeyYouGuys Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 There's such a societal push to 'couple up' that it makes singles feel like freaks! It's so ridiculous! I had no desire to be 'comitted' AT ALL during my twenties. I enjoyed dating, having some short-term relationships and flings. From time to time I'd feel like I 'should' be with a boyfriend and I'd try to be committed and monogamous. You know what? Until you're ready for it, it DOES suck. I didn't really settle down into a serious-serious relationship until the advanced age of 34 or so. And even that one, as special and great as it was, didn't last beyond 6 1/2 years. Take heart, OP....there's nothing wrong with biding your time, enjoying people in your own way, just as long as you're honest about it. Eventually, you MAY meet that special "one" who holds you for life. Or perhaps not. Just be true to yourself.
basscatcher Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Matt--when I first read your initial post I was tripping.. Your words could have came right out of TCK's mouth... I was even thinking that maybe he came on this forum (finding me on it) and baited me. I can't offer you any solutions. I would like to say-- I could easy be one of those girls you've encountered. You sound a lot like TCK.. Your words sound like his.. I've posted a lot about him in LS..
phyrespryte Posted October 17, 2006 Posted October 17, 2006 Matt--when I first read your initial post I was tripping.. Your words could have came right out of TCK's mouth... I was even thinking that maybe he came on this forum (finding me on it) and baited me. I can't offer you any solutions. I had the same feeling too! Well not that he was TCK, but another guy I know from Minnesota. Really freaked me out.
Author Matt L Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 I'm unfamiliar with this TCK guy... I know every set of forums has its fair share of history, and I'm certain, in due time, I will learn of this "tale." ... So perhaps this just means that I'm the any and every guy? Since I seem to be reminding you women of other men you know... and prithee tell phyrespryte, am I who I remind you of? ... My real name is Matt you know. As it was suggested, I'm avoiding the whole "serious" relationship thing right now, I mean, to me, that's just a given. Through the couple of "exclusive" relationships I've had, I simply learned that's not my thing right now... it's not where I'm at, ya know? Anyhoo: Babyphoenix: The reason I wrote that statement about myself (you know, other than being emo and attempting to gain a little notorioty by being melodramatic, lol), isn't so much that I think that if someone got to know me, and I mean the real me, they'd find me boring... ... On the contrary, I think they'd find me a little... disturbing, or even creepy. Though, hell... I can't be sure of that. I've done some things in the past... (ya know, not to sound cryptic or anything)... and thought about doing some things... and all of those thoughts and things I feel would be deal-breakers... Ya know... to the point where it wouldn't matter how many redeeming qualities I have. That's where that came from on that.
BabyPhoenix Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 On the contrary, I think they'd find me a little... disturbing, or even creepy. Though, hell... I can't be sure of that. I've done some things in the past... (ya know, not to sound cryptic or anything)... and thought about doing some things... and all of those thoughts and things I feel would be deal-breakers... Ya know... to the point where it wouldn't matter how many redeeming qualities I have. That's where that came from on that. Cute. I leerve emo. Well, you are posting on an anonymous forum – so dish. What evil deal-breakers are you talking about? In light of what you have written, I still maintain that my original supposition may still be correct. Also, you didn’t answer my question about your libido. I think it might be important to address, as sexuality is certainly a part of our humanity.
phyrespryte Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 ... So perhaps this just means that I'm the any and every guy? Since I seem to be reminding you women of other men you know... and prithee tell phyrespryte, am I who I remind you of? ... My real name is Matt you know. Well I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. But you're not him. Too young and wrong name. You really reminded me of a guy that recently broke up with me. He didn't have any real long term relationships or much experience with dating either. Anyways. I still don't think there's anything wrong with you. I mean you didn't have a connection you didn't have a connection. It's not like you went out with them and talked only about yourself for hours on end and then said...wow. We have nothing in common. If you tried to get to know the girls better and it still didn't click...well there's nothing you can do about that.
Ms.suess Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 Your 20. Don't feel weird for not wanting to commit at this point in your life. On the contrary, I think you are making a very wise decision. You are still getting to know yourself @ 20. Mabey you are "a little... disturbing, or even creepy." ....the right woman may find this incredably sexy, you know. Anyway, you have been offered some really great advice by the other posters here. There is nothing wrong with playing the field, as long as your honest. Keep it casual.
basscatcher Posted October 18, 2006 Posted October 18, 2006 You are still getting to know yourself @ 20. Mabey you are "a little... disturbing, or even creepy." ....the right woman may find this incredably sexy, you know. I agree at 20 you are still learning about yourself. At least your not a big romance dreamer out trying to get married now....'like so many of us did"--only to fail and mess your life up more.. Its ok to feel no need for a serious relationship right now. I agree with Ms.suess about 'maybe you are.....' TCK is different, he has a quirkyness about him that others would find unattractive. I find him very enduring and attractive. Ex: He is 6 ft 2 and skinny as a rail.. his waist is the skinniest I've ever seen on a man his height. He is all legs and arms... He has really long, stringy, thin hair which is naturally curly and it goes all over the place...he is balding on top and it's noticable.. Most women would find that unattractive (a dude stuck in the hippie era) yet I find him the most handsome man with his big round denium blue close centered eyes. he isn't really coordinated in his movements and I find that very very sexy.. He has big feet that look kinda odd with his tall linky body.. But even with all his quirks, his lack of coordination, his less then kept grooming appearance and his manners and sense of self (which people would take offense too because he is very confident with himself)--I adore him... So work hard at not putting yourself down on looks or build... There are women out there who will love all those oddities about you when/if your desire and interest in seeking a mate come forth. There are men who are self efficient, and fullfilled they don't desire a womans companionship. There are men who chose a road of celebicy or singleness. Your still young and you will blossom in the direction you know is good for you. Being a late bloomer is not a bad thing... It can actually be good.. I was 15 by the time I have my first real boyfriend. Most of my friends and other kids I knew had already had their first kisses, their first crushes, etc by the time I first had mine. I was looked at as a late bloomer in my peer group now look at me. I have plenty of knowledge and lots of experience and have super-exceeded some of those who started earlier then I did. I have more knowledge then most of them about relationships and the dynamics that entail them.. So being a late bloomer is not bad. Enjoy who you are, where you are at and live for now and dont let tomorrow worry you. Today has too much you dont' want to miss because your thinking about tomorrow!!
Author Matt L Posted October 18, 2006 Author Posted October 18, 2006 Wow, you folks write a lot, I love it. I'm obviously not going to make a response directed toward every single one of you, but please know that I am reading everything you write and taking it in. Cute. I leerve emo. *leerved?* Well, you are posting on an anonymous forum – so dish. What evil deal-breakers are you talking about?Okay, deal-breakers... Well, for starters, I used to have a rather extensive collection of videos and clips depicting various sexual acts between humans and animals... yes that's right... beastiality... and basically it boils down to a recurring issue with porn addiction. I won't lie though, I'm not over it, and I don't know if I ever will be, or really want to be... Also, you didn’t answer my question about your libido. I think it might be important to address, as sexuality is certainly a part of our humanity.I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm less sexually driven than my male compatriots. I mean, granted yes, there are times when I get all hot and bothered and I do fantasize about (and masturbate to) the thought of having intercourse with a woman, but this can be infrequent. I mean, if a woman walked into my room at any given moment, stripped her clothes, and asked me to have sex with her... I honestly don't know what I would say... I mean, depending on who it was, or the circumstances... you know? Though I guess that's not too unusual (Please? Not without protection, not without good reason!). Rarely do I think about men this way (and don't get me wrong, it's not as though male/male intercourse disgusts or anything, as it supposedly does for most men) it just doesn't suit me. Or rather, I'll pitch it to you like this: I'd be a bit disappointed if I turned out to be gay, like 'damn, all of this flirting and enjoying myself with women for nothing? ****' I do think about transsexual women with regular frequency it seems like though, and I do feel bad about this sometimes. TS/TG people are people too, and I don't feel right thinking about them merely as sexual objects or as some sort of fetish. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that if I actually came to know a TS/TG person in real-life, this sexual interest would slowly dissolve, or maybe peak? who knows. Anyway, my roommate had told me that when he first discovered masturbation (at like 14 or 15) he would be able to go at it 4 to 6 times a day without losing any steam. I, on the other hand, would maybe have a go at it once a day, if that, and call it good... and now it seems like I go at it once every few days... maybe a week? Obviously it depends on my lifestyle... stress levels and other factors contribute to horniness as I'm sure everyone else is aware. Right now I have a cold, and that's definitely got my libido on the back-burner. Frankly, I'd be worried if my libido got too high... as though it could grow beyond my control and lead me to do things I'd regret later on, you know? Actually, that happened once, before I discovered masturbation (at like 14 or something), and I was lashing out, sexually. I ended up molesting one of my younger, male friends, hoping to get some gratification (yes, this is "deal-breaker" #2), but naturally, all this did was leave me feeling worse than before... and naturally once I grew older and realized the implications of "gay," remembering this incident led me to begin questioning my own sexuality a little bit (as emotionally sensitive and effeminate as I can be, I don't feel gay?). Anyway, maybe this could be part of the root here... a guilt associated with feeling horny? ... and as such I don't want to let myself feel that way again? Interesting... I love writing through this ****.
BabyPhoenix Posted October 19, 2006 Posted October 19, 2006 Well, for starters, I used to have a rather extensive collection of videos and clips depicting various sexual acts between humans and animals... yes that's right... beastiality... and basically it boils down to a recurring issue with porn addiction. I won't lie though, I'm not over it, and I don't know if I ever will be, or really want to be... Firstly, what do you consider an addiction, and why do you see your porn viewing as such? Second, there are obviously other people out there who consume bestiality, or else there would be no call for it. There are many men and women out there who like viewing it, so the idea of it being a deal breaker I reject. However, its deal–breaker status is less important in your own journey of self-discovery. What I think is important for you to introspect about is your own lack of self-acceptance around this issue. You view it as bad or immoral, to name but a few views that have been inculcated in you since a young age. I urge you to think about your opinions on it, and not something that has been forced upon you by the conservative right, or other hypocrites who are dying to control conceptions of societal norms. I agree, addictions are bad. But looking at porn, whatever kind that is, is in itself not bad. In fact, it can teach you a great deal about your own sexuality, if you are honest enough and accepting of your true self. (For example, why you prefer this over standard “vanilla” type porn.) I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm less sexually driven than my male compatriots. I mean, granted yes, there are times when I get all hot and bothered and I do fantasize about (and masturbate to) the thought of having intercourse with a woman, but this can be infrequent. So what scenes are more frequent? What are your three most frequent fantasies? I do think about transsexual women with regular frequency it seems like though, and I do feel bad about this sometimes. Why do you feel bad about this? TS/TG people are people too, and I don't feel right thinking about them merely as sexual objects or as some sort of fetish. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that if I actually came to know a TS/TG person in real-life, this sexual interest would slowly dissolve, or maybe peak? Not to digress too much, but the whole porn industry centers around viewing people as sexual objects, whether they are men or women, or something in between. Why is viewing a tranny as a mere sexual object any worse, morally speaking, than a woman, or a dog? Frankly, I'd be worried if my libido got too high... as though it could grow beyond my control and lead me to do things I'd regret later on, you know? Do you think you subconsciously suppress it because you are afraid of doing things you might regret? Have you ever felt sexually out of control in the past? I ended up molesting one of my younger, male friends, hoping to get some gratification (yes, this is "deal-breaker" #2), but naturally, all this did was leave me feeling worse than before... and naturally once I grew older and realized the implications of "gay," remembering this incident led me to begin questioning my own sexuality a little bit (as emotionally sensitive and effeminate as I can be, I don't feel gay?)” I don’t think acting out sexually, however (in)appropriate, at such a young age is a deal-breaker. What people like to think is that children are innocent creatures devoid of any sexuality. But children are also sexual creatures, and act out in sexual ways, often unconsciously before they even understand sex or their own sexuality. It is just how we humans are wired. For example, females discover at a very early age that they can manipulate men with their sexuality, down to something as simple as an Electra complex – the typical Daddy’s little girl. Your phrase “implication of ‘gay’ is interesting. You were exploring your sexuality as a child, and as you grew older you refused yourself participation in this (even as a mere thought or mental reference) because of societal stigmas – opinions made by someone other than yourself. If you study sexuality (Kinsey for instance) you will see that research has found that most people are neither completely homosexual nor completely heterosexual. Most lie somewhere in the continuum of sexuality, or bi-sexuality. Anyway, maybe this could be part of the root here... a guilt associated with feeling horny? ... and as such I don't want to let myself feel that way again? Interesting... I love writing through this ****. See, I thought I might be on to something….. Keep thinking, and posting your thoughts.
everlong Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 ok...u hit all the markers low sex drive...too bad u didn't include shrimp penis size fer good measure oh yah, someone asked if u wanked - if you had a high sex drive probably...hey, everyone wanks - men and women - big deal anyhooo so u grab shy gurls so u can manipulate them you are much more educated in snob language u are just better than anything on this planet yet somehow not! hmmmm here's what u do...find someone that doesn't attack your core in order to feed their insecurities...and the next woman that questions yer manhood - dump them faster than a baked potato - and then find one that understand her sexuality next, do not listen to anyone tell u that u are better than them because that's a setup for disaster - u want someone strong by yerself - and we all have strengths and weakness next - do not project yer vibe onto them and kill their vibe! LOL DANGER MAN next - if u start thinking that your the next THING because someone looks up to u - kick them off that pedastel [in a playful manner] and do things with someone instead for all the time
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