Ssheena Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I sent my bf an email telling him I needed to be away from him for awhile and I couldn't keep going on like I have been (among other things in the email and I was pretty honest about what I have learned/observed about him). He really has some HUGE issues and needs therapy and we have talked about this as well (so it wasn't just delivered in an email). I love him and have for a long time. When I sent the email and now I was hoping that he would get some help and then talk to me about what was going on but after getting the email he called me up and said, so I guess we aren't going out anymore and that he was fine with breaking up. Now, it appears he has just moved right on. Looking to meet and date other girls now, happy to be single etc. I'm surprised. We were a part of each others lives everyday and each others best friend for more than a year and he can just turn it off? It hasn't been easy for me - even though I'm the one the initiated the break up, it feels like he didn't even love me if he can just move on so fast. Wow. There was not any "one" thing that lead me to just decide, I need a break and I was clear about what I think (and he knows as well) he has issues about but... have any of you had such an experience? In a relationship and then telling the person; actually, I said, if you don't get therapy, I can't keep on like this and them just saying basically, ok. Bye. I miss this guy. Breakups suck. I'm questioning whether he ever really loved me now if he can just let go like this. One day at a time, I guess. (funny, I just got My Chemical Romance's, "I'm not ok" going through my head). Oh btw, I'm not saying I don't have my own issues but I've had years of therapy and made lots of progress. He's on lexapro and hasn't ever spoken to anyone - which I think is not the way anti-depressants should be used. I advocate a combination of talk therapy/anti depressants. Sigh. What do you all think? Words of wisdom?
Moose Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Well....personally, I probably would've done the same thing your boyfriend did. The last thing I would need, (especially in this condition), is a girlfriend or partner who reminds me of my shortcomings. It's not that he didn't have feeling for you, he probably did and probably still does. BUT, and that's a big BUT.......being depressed already it could be that he's numbed himself to avoid a breakdown..... I think you're whole problem might be that you didn't realize what you had until you let it go. You might've just realized that we all have issues and we all deal with them differently. You really had no right to put his issues in his face when you have some of your own to deal with.....glass houses.....I dunno....the fact is, you're not too sure you did the right thing after all....... Just because you've dealt with your problems a certain way, it doesn't mean he has to follow suit.....
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