4Given Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Hello everyone. I'm new here to the forums, and I don't know what kind of responses to expect, but I'll give it a shot. I'm an 18 year old Christian male, remaining faithful to a beautiful young Christian lady who is 16 years old. She and I have been dating for four years and two months, I was a freshman and she was a seventh grade student when we met (our middle school at grade 7-9). Just two weeks ago, my girlfriend moved to Las Vegas, Nevada with her family. A week of settling in, and she finally registered to attend a high school. Her first day at school was awesome, and let's just say she made a very lasting first impression on everyone, especially the testosterone-filled teenage boys. And right there is where my worries and concerns come from, them testosterone-filled teenage boys. My girlfriend is a very attractive young lady with high standards (which I barely meet), and guys tend to fall for her fast. What bothers me is that she's telling everyone that she's taken and faithful, but these young men seem to take our long distance relationship to their advantage, expecting me to know nothing of their actions. Persistant little fiends... Anyway. Just last night, my girlfriend attended a group outing with her friends. There was an even number of guys and girls, so each were "paired" up. My girlfriend was paired up with a young man named Matt who is deeply in love with her (with her looks, mind you). My girlfriend asked me for permission to go prior to actually going, and I gave her the green light. After four-five hours of me sitting on my bed waiting for my girlfriend to call my cell phone, I got really worried. During those hours, I kept sending text messages to see if everything was alright. No response. She finally arrived at her home at around 11 pm, and she called me. I asked her how the outing was, and she said it was fun. Then she became completely honest with me and said that she was tempted to do things with Matt. But, thankfully, she didn't followthrough with those temptations. I don't really know what to think right now. Should I be concerned and worried about what the guys are trying to do with her? Should I question her about her temptations? Another concern is that she kinda lost her enthusiasm ever since she moved. Now that she's there at Las Vegas, she has been referring to me with my real name, rather than "baby" or "sweetie". She even get really quiet when she says her "I love you, too's". She does this when she's around her new friends, mostly guys. But when she was still here at San Diego, she'd make it know that she was in love and blurts it out loudly and enthusiastically. We believe that God's love is the foundation of the love we have for each other. I don't want anything to hinder that. Advice please?
Moose Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 First of, your thread is a little misleading. You two aren't married. Secondly, you both are too young to be in LDR and expect this to work. If I were you, I'd prepare myself for letting her go.....
SoCalCatman72 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I'm an 18 year old Christian male, remaining faithful to a beautiful young Christian lady who is 16 years old. We believe that God's love is the foundation of the love we have for each other. I don't want anything to hinder that. Advice please? I agree with Moose, however to expand. You say you are remaining faithful to her, are you remaining faithful to God in your interactions with her? Are you aware that existing laws in CA and NV take a dim view towards a 16 yr old female with an 18 yr old male? You believe that God's love is the foundation for the love you have for each other, then you must have faith in God. Is your love patient, kind, slow to anger, always protecting, always forgiving, always TRUSTING, always faithful? (1 Corinthians 13) You can't claim faith in God and not allow Him to steer your life and love life. Blessings and prayers.
Sand&Water Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 4Given, You can believe whatever you want, but actions speak louder than words. You are both young. At 16, she barely knows the ins-and-outs of dating let alone falling in love. She is, in the process of finding herself and establishing a concrete identity. After four-five hours of me sitting on my bed waiting for my girlfriend to call my cell phone, I got really worried. During those hours, I kept sending text messages to see if everything was alright. No response. IF you want to kill the relationship, keep doing what you did in those four-five hours. Do not, I repeat, do not be clingy -like a gorilla on her back. IF you can't trust her, then there is no point in continuing the relationsip. You must have confidence in her, in order for her to have confidence in you. Enjoy the pleasures of the relationship, for what it is. IF you try to aggressively fight change, you will lose. Let her go, IF it doesn't work out. Best of Luck, Sand&Water
KittenMoon Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Agreements with all said above, but I'll offer this as well: If you want to keep her, reminds her, but not obsessively, that you care and trust her. Not in words, but on occassion send her flowers, or a letter (no emails or texts), or something to that effect.
Yamaha Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Should I be concerned and worried about what the guys are trying to do with her? Heck, yea. It is hard to maintain a LDR and even harder when you are the ages you 2 are. I would be prepared for her to drift away.
Guest Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 The fact that she wanted to do stuff may indicate she isn't quite as "Christian" as you are. In fact, I would suspect so. I know this will sound highly bigoted, but as a relationship that is founded by God, where you are loyal to somebody else above your significant other is doomed for failure. I would break any law on heaven or on earth for my girlfriend.
anotherGuest Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 it is very misleading title... anyway...my comment.. you are just tooooo young. And to be frank with you, i dont think both of u are mature enough . You are insecure and you afraid of losing her because she is good looking . But actually, it is not about look. Relationship should be based on mutual trust. ok..just be prepared of any possilbilities that my happen. Another thing,when are you planning to get married? 10 years from now ? the reason why i ask you this is because you will be in dating period for so long and you may get bored .. either you or her or both of you . and what are you gonna do after that ? i am sorry to say this but LDR is just not easy.
YellowLioness Posted December 18, 2006 Posted December 18, 2006 For one thing, LDRs test the patience and maturity of even the most dedicated lovers. At 17, one is ruled by hormones, rather then logic. In my opinion, you should cut her loose. Do not wait for her to break up with you. That way, you will empower yourself, which will give you a boost in recovering over the heart break. I do not think your relationship will last much longer, even if you choose not to break up with her at this time. She is young, and will be wanting to explore her sexuality whether you are there, or not. I realize that this is probably harsh to your thinking. It would be to me too, if I were in your shoes. Good luck. PS- the title to your post was very misleading. When I first read it, I thought maybe you were a soldier serving overseas, which is why I looked at it in the first place.
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