leftone Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 going through NC and i'm strugglin hard. i non stop think about her and what she's doing and how she's feeling. the urges to contact her are overwhelming but i know it'll be all for nothing if i do end up contacting her. how do i get through this...i'm dying here..please help
Ruff Ryder Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 One line answer: When you let it. Thats the answer it will stay with you as long as you allow it to. Read some treads here they will help.
everlong Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 the pain will go away when it is replaced with a greater pain...grab a fork and jab it in your hand....or play a game of bloody knuckles with someone...that pain will replace the other...joking of course... the pain goes away when you stop thinking of things in a negative way...start doing positive things...turn that clown frown upside down - [lame - sorry]
db75 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 going through NC and i'm strugglin hard. i non stop think about her and what she's doing and how she's feeling. the urges to contact her are overwhelming but i know it'll be all for nothing if i do end up contacting her. how do i get through this...i'm dying here..please help I guess I should ask how long have you two been broken up? Ultimatley though, I know it's really hard and all you're experiencing is quite normal. What she's doing now and how she's feeling simply don't matter, I know that's hard to accept when you still care about someone, but how you feel is what matters now. One day at a time my friend. You will be okay. You will feel better eventually.
EllieBear Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I hear ya on this! I am going through the same thing as my ex-boyfriend and I just broke up 3 weeks ago...and in time it will get better...Take it one day at a time and try to keep busy...Also what I found to be good is to read breaking up books, quotes, or even these threads...it will keep your mind of off things...What doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Good luck!
Author leftone Posted October 13, 2006 Author Posted October 13, 2006 thx for all the replies guys. db75 it was a 5 yr relationship and just ended on Monday. the hardest thing is that she's with someone else and in love with him. yes she does still want me part of her life because i have been for so long and yes i do want to but not in the way she wants me to. I want her as a lover..she wants me as a friend. hard to accept but have to accept right. everlong...yeah you're right positivitey is the key and i'm really trying and i'm letting go of the relationship but the pain is there. this i can't help but feel. elliebear...i have been reading on lines quotes and online material on letting go and accepting and all that gd stuff and it does help. reading ppls threads and reading what other ppl are going through makes me feel a bit better too cause i know i'm not alone even though i feel like i am. i miss her terribly...but she loved me because she needed me...she didn't need me because she loved me...and that's what hurts but i guess that's life. sigh
Amour77 Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 thx for all the replies guys. db75 it was a 5 yr relationship and just ended on Monday. the hardest thing is that she's with someone else and in love with him. yes she does still want me part of her life because i have been for so long and yes i do want to but not in the way she wants me to. I want her as a lover..she wants me as a friend. hard to accept but have to accept right. What were the circumstances surrounding the break up? Tell us a bit more more about what happened? You are saying she is with someone else and loves him.... Does it mean she has been seeing this guy for quite some time now when you were still together? Did she cheat on you? Why does she want to be friends? What does she say about it?
Author leftone Posted October 13, 2006 Author Posted October 13, 2006 okay...here's what happened...beginning of the year she met a new group of friends through one of her best friends. they started hanging out quite often and there was this guy that was interested in her. initially she didn't give him the time of day and made it clear that she was happy in her relationship with me. as the months went on she went out with them more often and i was getting a bit concerned cause this dude was picking her up all the time. i would confront her and she said it was nothing and that i have to trust her. anyways, my nagging on her spending all her time with her friends and barely any time with me got to her. i believe i had all the right to say something and i did, but it pushed her away. in may, we decided to take a break because she didn't know what she wanted anymore. apparently she developed some feelings for this guy and that's where it all began. from may till just recently, she's was supposedly trying to figure out who she wanted to be with. this new guy who she was getting all this new excitement from but felt that she didn't have a future with because he didn't have any direction in life or me, the person that she's loved for so long, knows she has a good future with me and at the time only saw a future with me. the way i see it now is that the time from may till now for her was more of a trial period for her to see if something would develop between her and this new guy because she wasn't sure if she would be making the right decision if she chose to be with him. i went from letting her go to holding on to letting her go because i was getting sick and tired of waiting. i was definitely a sucker for giving into the little things she would do to keep me hanging on. so finally, she realized that the "feeling" wasn't there with me anymore and she had outgrown me i guess as she said she didn't know if she was in love with him. i think that's crap cause you either know you're in love with someone or you don't. anyways, this past weekend, she finally told me that for now, its not gonna work between us and that he makes her happy but she loves me and wants me in her life but as a friend because i've been such a big part of her life and as a person she says that i'm one of two people she can truly rely on to give her real advice in her life. i told her that's **** and there's no way i can do that. i told her its either him or me and she made her choice and it wasn't me. so NC began on Monday and i know what you guys are gonna say...she's not worth it and i know this but i was on the verge of proposing..thank God i didn't...and i believed i was gonna spend the rest of my life with her. i love her with all my heart. but i guess when you really love somebody, you gotta know when to hold on and when to let go....i held on for so long that letting go is alien to me. it must be done but it hurts like hell......especially knowing that the love she once gave to me, she now gives to someone else.... feeling pretty empty...but i guess it was about time i woke up and stopped fighting a fight i wasn't gonna win.
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