arealdawg Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Hello to the Loveshack group. I've been lurking on this site for a while now and I would like some help with a problem I have. To make a long story short, I've been dating this woman on and off for three years. Neither of us is married. The last time we broke up is because my mother passed away and she left me because I didn't pay her enough attention. Needless to say, I was hurt. I met this very attractive woman at my job. I flirted with her every chance I got. She is someone I like. Well, I ask the lady at work if she was interested in me, but she plays hard to get. After a while, she doesn't seem to be that interested, so I back off. In the meantime, my girlfriend comes back into the picture and apologizes to me for not being my my corner at my time of need. I take her back. This was back in December. Well, she ends up pregnant. In the meantime, the woman at work is showing major interest in me. To speed the story up, me and the woman at work start to hang out more and we get to know each other better. She doesn't know that I got my girlfriend pregnant. Since we work together, I break the news to her after two or three months. She was very upset and hurt. But we still continue on with a relationship at work. Back in September, she tells me how much she cares for me, but she needs to be on her own, but yet she can't let me go. I tell her that I care for her and that she is a good friend to me and that I value our friendship more than anything. I don't want to lose her as a friend at least. When the woman at work, my friend, found out that I moved my girlfriend into my new home, she was very upset. I don't want to hurt my girlfriend and I don't want to hurt my friend, either. She was even gracious enough to give me a beautiful gift basket for my child when some friends threw me a shower. I left the job in September. My friend hasn't contacted me or im'ed me. When I call her or send her emails, she'll respond, but other than that she won't make a move to contact me. What also complicates the matter is that we've slept together five times. We have a lot of chemistry. I care about both women. I don't want to be a dawg and I'm not being greedy, but I don't know what to do. I feel that if my girlfriend left me when my mother died, at least I know I have someone I could be with. But I know that's not fair to her. Feel free to bash me as much as you want. Sincerely, DAWG
justice Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Bottom line:We all make mistakes. Some are more major than others, but are fixable. You took your girlfriend back, she's pregnant with your child, right? You need to let go of the other woman at work and really work on building your relationship with your girlfriend and getting prepared for your child coming into the world. You have a responsibility to your child and your girlfriend. Not the woman at work. Work on those things and I mean really give it effort, if it works you will find happiness, if not, then you can pursue whoever you want but at least you will know in your heart you did try to do the right thing by your gf and baby first. They need to be first right now. Best of luck.
Author arealdawg Posted October 13, 2006 Author Posted October 13, 2006 Thank you, Justice. I understand completely everything you said. But I can't help think about my friend. I've been giving my girlfriend all the attention in the world, but I can't stop thinking about my friend. I didn't eloborate a lot on the whole scenario, but my friend has helped me out in a lot of ways since I've known her. I've expressed to her that she has a lot of what I like in a woman. She's extremely beautiful (not exggerating on this!), sincere, classy, and generous and she always had my back on things I don't have time to write about right now. This was even before we slept together. So it's not just about the sex with me. I've told her that I wished she didn't play so hard to get earlier because I probably wouldn't be expecting a baby right now. She got a little perturbed when I said that. I guess it came off like I was blaming her. But I wasn't. I know people do things in their own time. I do care a lot about my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong. I want our child. I'm just torn right now.
BUTAFLY Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Tell the girl at work the TRUTH!! The worst thing you can do is string her along. Leave the woman from work alone and work on your new family. 1
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