Guest Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 Its such a long story i could write a book so i will just give a rough outline. After 10yrs with a man that begged me to leave my husband, then treated me like dirt, asked me to marry him and then changed his mind 5 times, banned me from going out with my best friend then phoned her up and asked if she would f*** him apparently because he wanted to hurt me because i had "upset" him .Told me he hated me threw me out of his house and sold it then begged me to carry on seeing him, 3 yrs on and hes still the same. he arranges things with me then cancels at last minute if something better to do he says he'll ring at certain time and then just doesnt bother and gets angry and abusive if i complain he calls me names and insults me, in the past 8yrs he has taken me out approx 4 times and then more or less ignores me and looks at other women all nite and states "its a bloke thing and nothing wrong with it".He has made me feel so worthless, insecure and jealous, i am never allowed to ask him anything about when he goes out or i get shouted at and verbally abused and he complains that i dont trust him yet he has told thousands of lies to me which he just shrugs off and says "so".Everything has to be on his terms, Im so sad and lonely, he only wants to know me when he is bored and got nothing better to do
fishtaco Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 So why did you stay with him for 10 years? Why are you still with him now?
Cheshire Cat Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Assuming, or hoping, that you posted on here to get a wake-up call and hear from other people what you already know well, I'll be happy to oblige. What kind of guy is he? He is a jerk, a dork, a scumbag, a liar, an abuser, probably a cheater. Does he give a crap about you? No. He does not give a crap about you. A guy who cared about you, let alone loved you, would not be treating you like this. Why he is still together with you? Because it's convenient to him. Because he is not going to find many other women who will act like a doormat and take all his abuse. Because you haven't left him yet. Why does he treat you like dirt? Because he likes to take out his worst side with you. Because he probably enjoys it. Because you allow him. Should a relationship be like that? Obviously not. Would you be able to find a guy who'll treat you well? Yes. Plenty of them. Why are you still with him? Why is this guy so special to you? Why do you feel like you do not deserve anything better? Are you addicted to being abused and treated badly? For you to answer.
Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Posted October 15, 2006 Assuming, or hoping, that you posted on here to get a wake-up call and hear from other people what you already know well, I'll be happy to oblige. What kind of guy is he? He is a jerk, a dork, a scumbag, a liar, an abuser, probably a cheater. Does he give a crap about you? No. He does not give a crap about you. A guy who cared about you, let alone loved you, would not be treating you like this. Why he is still together with you? Because it's convenient to him. Because he is not going to find many other women who will act like a doormat and take all his abuse. Because you haven't left him yet. Why does he treat you like dirt? Because he likes to take out his worst side with you. Because he probably enjoys it. Because you allow him. Should a relationship be like that? Obviously not. Would you be able to find a guy who'll treat you well? Yes. Plenty of them. Why are you still with him? Why is this guy so special to you? Why do you feel like you do not deserve anything better? Are you addicted to being abused and treated badly? For you to answer. Thanks very much for taking the time to reply to me, i needed somebody to give an opinion to help prove to myself that it's not just me who thinks its wrong. Your right, i do already know most of what your saying , but not so easy to be strong enough to let go after how i think people like that , change you from a strong person into a weak person, I'll explain. Before i met him i was a strong willed, practical, sociable, kind, caring person and i always swore that theres No way i would ever let a man treat me like that, but they gradually suck you in, he can be very nice when he wants to be and he was when i first met him and up untill he knew he'd got me and i eventually moved out of my home and into his as he wanted, i had fallen madly in love with him. Weeks after was the first sign and a dramtic change in personality, i really couldnt understand what i'd done, i was gutted, i'd left everything, but then he would change after a couple of days or so and be ultra nice, i felt like my mind wouldnt function properly and i deeply loved him, unfortunately one more chance leads to one more year untill before you know it your ten years down the line and although i know there shouldnt be any feelings left there is still a tug deep down, he was supposed to be my "soul mate". I am lonely without a partner around and when he gets in touch after a break he always begs and insists he will change and eventully i weaken and so the cycle begins again, alcohol is almost guaranteed to bring out the worst in him he becomes abusive and know matter what he will force a row, although he denies completely even his own friends have come to me and mentioned that they have seen it when they have been out with him. I am getting stronger because everytime he behaves like that he kills a bit more of the feelings i have for him. He really doesnt seem to think that he's in the wrong at all, and that everything is my fault, dont get me wrong some may be my fault but i'm never abusive and i will always admit if i'm in the wrong and apologise. I really could go on for hours but i'll give you a break from it, i hope that sort of explains it to you, its very difficult without writing pages. Thanks again
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