Author PWSX3 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Posted December 24, 2006 Hi PW Sounds like you are realy doing great... Its also nice to see your DW is reaching out by giving gifts to you... ... good sign... but (not for sure right)... to early on your journey up the mountain... to tell (right) You are correct there, just because we are talking and she is gave me a gift doesn't mean I'm ready for her to move back in just yet. There are still things we will have to work out and work on before we are comfortable with her coming back. That might sound harsh to some, but I want to make sure the foundation is firm before we start building on it. ;)It's pretty hard to build a house on quick sand and this is the last house I want to build so I want it to have a good foundation so it will last for at least another 25 years. From that past several posts you have made... you have shown some amazing progress... and your attitude is becoming infectious... Thank you very much, I do appreciate that. BTW... what colour is your wifes favourite? (wrapping paper..hmmm?) Just a thought... That color would be "GREEN" and yes I looked for that color first but this purple just JUMPED out at me and she will appreciate the purple as well. She kind of got used to purple since there is so much of it around our house, my work desk, my vehicle, and everything in the vehicle.
ilmw Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 You are correct there, just because we are talking and she is gave me a gift doesn't mean I'm ready for her to move back in just yet. There are still things we will have to work out and work on before we are comfortable with her coming back. That might sound harsh to some, but I want to make sure the foundation is firm before we start building on it. ;)It's pretty hard to build a house on quick sand and this is the last house I want to build so I want it to have a good foundation so it will last for at least another 25 years. Thank you very much, I do appreciate that. That color would be "GREEN" and yes I looked for that color first but this purple just JUMPED out at me and she will appreciate the purple as well. She kind of got used to purple since there is so much of it around our house, my work desk, my vehicle, and everything in the vehicle. :lmao: :lmao:
Author PWSX3 Posted December 26, 2006 Author Posted December 26, 2006 Today was a good day, I had to pick up my son at the W's so it gave me a chance to give her my Christmas gift. I was so excited to be able to give it to her. I gave it to her and she said thanks, I asked if I could give her a kiss on the cheek and she said yes, then she gave me a one handed hug. (package in the other) I called her later and she said thanks, she explained the pop was her favorite, the gift card for movies were because it's something she likes to do and the DVD of Young Frankenstein was our first date and I told her she did well knowing why I got all the items. She then told me it brought a tear to her eye and thanked me again. Then she reminded me today was the day our friends lost there daughter, when she was born her cord was wrapped around her neck I think, so she wouldn't have been able to live on her own or take care of herself. I called and just wanted to wish them a Merry Christmas and let them know someone was thinking of them and he really appreciated the phone call. I told him they need to think of the positive and good things and he said they were doing that and so far they were doing pretty well but the afternoon would be worse since that is when all the crazy stuff started to happen and they took her to the hospital where she later passed away. It felt good to be able to talk to him and make someone that had a lot worse memory of Christmas maybe just a little better knowing someone thought of them. Me and my boy went to my folks and had lunch with them then we opened presents and then played a game of cards. My boy made one of the dishes for the first time and it turned out really good and I have left overs for lunches for the rest of the week. All in all it was a very good Christmas
Author PWSX3 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 I hope everyone had a HAPPY NEW YEAR and are ready to start 2007 with a BANG!! Yesterday was the W's birthday and I had asked if she wanted to go eat with me, or me & our boy and she said; she was going to spend the day with her sister so I said that was fine. Then she suggested that maybe we could go eat tonight instead and asked if I thought my folks would like to go with? In the past when someone has a birthday we all get together and whoever has the birthday gets to decide where we are going to eat so I thought that was pretty neat she asked if they wanted to go with, so we are all going out tonight to celebrate her birthday. I'm looking forward to giving her the CD's that I made for her and just spending time together, this will be the first time we have done something as a family. As for me, 2007 is starting off on the right track, I'm headed to the health club to work out. :lmao: I got my hiking shoes on, my water, some food, & I'm ready to start climbing that mountain. Hey Gunny it is a tall mountain but I will make it to the top and while I'm climbing I'm going to stop once in a while and just enjoy life, and when I slip I'll pick myself up and ask myself; WTF was that? Learn from it then get back on the path and move forward. There will be some rainy days, snowy days, but there are going to be a LOT of sunny days.
Author PWSX3 Posted January 3, 2007 Author Posted January 3, 2007 Time to change the sails, the water is getting stag net where I am at this time. Gunny thanks for your post in Ilmw's thread, I have been trying to hard to get back with the W and even though I've been learning a lot about myself I need to stop doing all the work. I need to stop sharing what I'm doing and learning with her. I've been doing all the work and making it easy for her, because she knows what I'm doing, how I feel, etc. and she hasn't shared her thoughts and feelings with me, and she doesn't have to think what it's going to be like without me because she knows I'm waiting if things don't work out the way she wants them to. She has told me she wants to work on our relationship, but isn't ready to date. Has told me she misses the family aspect of our relationship, but doesn't miss me. We did spend the one day together shoveling snow and then went out to eat afterwards, and she said she had a great time, and we went out as a family for her birthday this week. I've been nice and watched her dog while she goes to her sisters for the weekend, which I need to say no I guess so she has to figure what she would do if I wasn't there to help her. It's really hard, I don't mind helping her but then that might be her taking advantage of me and she needs to know what it would be like without me around always helping. Ilmw, it's back to the basics my friend for the both of us!!!!
chadnickole Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 PWS your stich looks a little more promising than ours, but I'm surley no expert (or I wouldn't be on here) I think we are all in the same boat in our minds though "ready, willing and able to move on" I love my wife enought to let her Go, If that is what she truly wants!! And if she comes back I'm gonna admit her to the pshyc ward:rolleyes: :rolleyes: Looks like we are all going to be following the same plan from here on, Look for the Worst, Hope for the best!! You, Me and ILMW have been nothing but avalable for our Wives and basically have still been husbands with out the support or our wives they know we love them and they know we are waiting so they have nothing to worry about!! They can just do as they please with no worries of us moving on even if that is what they want, when it happens they could just change there minds, if of course they are not to wrapped up a OM (which might be the case with mine) From here on out The only time I contact here will be for my Son, When she calls me i'll be kind but happy, but I'm going to start moving forward with me, If she truley wants out than it will make it easy for her if she doesn't she will have to prove it!! I hope I'm strong enough to follow the course......Like Ladyjane says if she truely has her mind made up to leave we are damned if we do and damned if we don't!! We might as stop being doormats take care of ourselves and our priorities.........Our best intersest in not in our Wives hearts, She is only concerned with making her happy and taking care of her and her prioritys!! Lets be friendly not friends I still hope All our Wives Open they're eyes and they're hearts up to Us (AS LONG AS WE ARE TRULY DESIRVING)
Author PWSX3 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 PWS your stich looks a little more promising than ours, but I'm surley no expert (or I wouldn't be on here) I think we are all in the same boat in our minds though "ready, willing and able to move on" I love my wife enought to let her Go, If that is what she truly wants!! And if she comes back I'm gonna admit her to the pshyc ward:rolleyes: :rolleyes: I don't think mine is any better then yours or Ilmw's. The W tells me she wants to work on our relationship but she isn't ready to date. When we went out for her birthday I asked for a hug and a kiss on the cheek and she said; she would like the hug but not the kiss, the next day in an email she tells me sorry she didn't feel like a kiss because she was overwhelmed. I'm not sure what that meant. Someone told me when I first got on here, don't believe anything they say and believe only half of what they do. I have told the W where I stand and now its time for her to show me that she is interested in me. She is the one that wanted the separation so now she will have to show me she wants back together. Its off to the BIG CITY to help my friend celebrate her 60th birthday (and trust me she doesn't look a day over 45):DSome other people from our other branch might be there so it will be a good time!!!
ilmw Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 I don't think mine is any better then yours or Ilmw's. The W tells me she wants to work on our relationship but she isn't ready to date. When we went out for her birthday I asked for a hug and a kiss on the cheek and she said; she would like the hug but not the kiss, the next day in an email she tells me sorry she didn't feel like a kiss because she was overwhelmed. I'm not sure what that meant. Someone told me when I first got on here, don't believe anything they say and believe only half of what they do. I have told the W where I stand and now its time for her to show me that she is interested in me. She is the one that wanted the separation so now she will have to show me she wants back together. Its off to the BIG CITY to help my friend celebrate her 60th birthday (and trust me she doesn't look a day over 45):DSome other people from our other branch might be there so it will be a good time!!! PW... your situation is much more promising than many others... so all I can realy say is keep on doing what you are doing.. From what you have been writing about your W... she is confused.. but is willing to do things with you .. and except signs of effection from you... to a certain extent... just don't push her... to much.. let her come to you.... be a little stand offish... but nice... Give her some more time.... don't lose your patience now... cause things do seem positive... K... ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 PW... your situation is much more promising than many others... so all I can realy say is keep on doing what you are doing.. From what you have been writing about your W... she is confused.. but is willing to do things with you .. and except signs of effection from you... to a certain extent... just don't push her... to much.. let her come to you.... be a little stand offish... but nice... Give her some more time.... don't lose your patience now... cause things do seem positive... K... ilmw I was talking to my friend today (she separated with her hubby for 5 months and got back together) and she told me to "BACK OFF" I need to give the W some space and let her start coming to me, so that is what I'm doing. Meanwhile I'm doing things for fun like going to the Birthday party at a country bar in the BIG CITY. Now remember I don't dance, I've tried it a couple times but that's it. Anyway my friend that had the birthday got me out on the floor 3 times doing the two step. Then I was just standing watching everyone and I started to talk to the girl next to me (I had to she was cute). The next thing I know she is asking "me" to dance. I told her I don't dance and she said she doesn't either but wants to learn and asked again if I wanted to try it? The reason I have been down there before was my friend told me I need to try new things and just going to a country bar is something I wouldn't probably do if she didn't tell me to try new things, so I said; what the heck and we had a good time dancing even though never of us knew what we were doing. I tell you what I was nervous and my hands got all switty, but I had a great time, it was good trying something different and spending time with a complete stranger, and I figure I might not ever see that gal again so what the heck. Time to spend that time that I've been thinking of the W on me & having fun with me. It felt good just to go let my hair down (if I had any):lmao:and have some fun. Ilmw, I hope you get back to playing hocky, it's been a LONG TIME since I have played but I remember how much fun it used to be. They do have those skates with the two runners on them.
ilmw Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Ilmw, I hope you get back to playing hocky, it's been a LONG TIME since I have played but I remember how much fun it used to be. They do have those skates with the two runners on them. Smart arse... :lmao: :lmao: BTW.. you are realy showing a greay attitude.. Question... your friend who was seperated... what were her circumstances.. she she leave or what... was divorce mentioned? Just curious....?? Thx bud ilmw
Dad_of_3 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 Hi Perry, Keep that chin up buddy! New Year ahead ... live it dreams and possibilities This one is for you buddy. Pete Murray - Opportunity And so it goes another lonely day Your savin time but your miles away Your flower is drowning in some bitter tea For seeing lost opportunity Find your mirror go and look inside And see the talent you always hide Don't go kid yourself well not today Satisfaction's not to far away Hold on now your exits here It's waiting just for you Don't pause too long It's fading now It's ending all too soon you'll see Soon you'll see Your coffee's warm but your milk is sour Life is short but your here to flower Dream yourself along another day Never miss opportunity Don't be scared of what you cannot see Your only fear is possibility Never wonder what the hell went wrong Your second chance may never come along Hold on now your exits here It's waiting just for you Don't pause too long It's fading now It's ending all too soon you'll see Soon you'll see Hold on now your exits here It's waiting just for you Don't pause too long It's fading now It's ending all too soon you'll see Soon you'll see [x5]
Author PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 Smart arse... :lmao: :lmao: BTW.. you are realy showing a greay attitude.. Question... your friend who was seperated... what were her circumstances.. she she leave or what... was divorce mentioned? Just curious....?? Thx bud ilmw I'm sorry I just had to say it. :lmao: Don't they say it's like riding a bike, once you know how you don't lose it or something like that. It's just the falling won't be so kind to you as it was when you were young. As for my friend I am not sure, I'll have to find out. Thanks DO3 for the song and I also downloaded "This is your life" and the funny thing is my son already had it on his I-pod. Today I got an email from a longtime friend, she used to live with us over 16 years ago while she got on her feet, but she moved out of town. We had kept in touch for a while, but when my Grandma passed away we didn't go that direction much more and so we lost touch. I emailed her back and we are going to get caught up tonight after I hit the health club. (priorities) DO3 you are so right, this is a new year and it's a new start for me. My boat is starting to move again and we will see where it takes me. I also downloaded another song by the Oak Ridge Boys (Lifes Railway to Heaven) about a train going thru the mountains but I changed it around and instead of a train I am in my 4X4 Explorer!!!!! I do listen to the words to songs a LOT MORE then I ever did before. There are some great songs out there with some really good messages.
dgiirl Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 PW, Country dancing huh? I'm pretty impressed right now! I'm really glad to see you trying new things and break out of your comfort zone. There are so many new opportunities out there to experience and I'm glad to see you are taking advantage of it It's something that I struggle myself with, but it's SO rewarding once you realize you've pushed your limits just a little further and enjoyed something you never thought you would Keep up the good work! On a positive note, your wife isnt closing the door completely on you. She is saying she does want to work on the relationship, just not right now. Not sure what's up with that. Perhaps she's preparing her way for a new life, and ease the pain a little for you, until she knocks you on the head, or she really is thinking about the relationship. In any case, as you guys have been saying, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Keep doing what you are doing, but dont push TOO hard, and dont get too disappointed in her declines. Back off some but dont get completely discouraged. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow. Make today the best that you can and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Author PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 The wife called me this evening and I just let her leave a message. She said she has had a busy week and realized she hadn't talked to me this week and just wanted to visit. She said she enjoys talking to me on the phone so I called her back and we talked for about 20 minutes. I mostly just listened to her and then she asked how my week had gone and I just said slow. She asked me if I wanted to meet sometime this weekend to visit and talk about Patrick's school bill? He goes to a private school and he has been eating lunches there and they are extra. I just told her to give me a call later and I would see what I was doing. (Leave it up to her to call me again)
Author PWSX3 Posted January 10, 2007 Author Posted January 10, 2007 I took my son to the bank tonight and opened up his own account (Me being co signer) and I went to the same lady that had opened up my separate account two months ago and she made my day!!! She told me I really looked good, and I looked more confedent and I handled things like I am in control of my life. Sure I knew what was going on since I had just opened up my own account not to long ago, but I do feel better about having to do things I haven't done before. I was telling her we are learning to cook together, not just throwing something in the microwave and she said; Oh do I have some good recipes for you guys and there easy so she is going to email them to us. Her favorite she said is Taco soup so I'm looking forward to that one. Now that I look back the biggest thing I feel that scared me about the W moving out was, "I was afraid to be alone." I cooked a little but not much she did most of it, I did a few loads of laundry once in a while but she did most of it, I vacuumed and dusted once in a while, but now I had to do it all myself and you know what? It's not all that hard. You keep on top of it and do a little each day and it doesn't take much time. If we do get back together or if I find someone else to share my life with it will be so much fun to share all these things not just doing things outside of the house but sharing things inside of the house. Someone told me something very special and I'll remember it for a long time. It's not your partner's job to make your life fulfilling and enjoyable. That's your job, your partner is just there to share those moments with you. I also got this in an email that I would like to share: People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our nee d has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant . Things are looking good in PWS land!!! Sure I have my lows and highs just like everyone else but my lows I am learning to deal with them and my highs are getting higher. I read a draft that I had in my email last night that was meant to be sent in a fax to our counselor. When I read it I just couldn't believe the things I had said in there about my wife and I started to cry. It said I hope we have time to go over some of these things and it started in; The W isn't doing this, the W isn't doing that, the W needs to do this, but not once did I see anyplace that said; hey could you please help me see why I'm doing this, or if I would do this maybe it would help!! Gunny I still wake up every morning and tell myself; "self I don't EVER want to be that old Perry again"!!! Thanks to everyone for showing me "being happy with yourself is A VERY GOOD THING!!";)
Dad_of_3 Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 Neither you, nor ilmw nor myself, or anyone who has taken the steps will ever be the same again. You have travelled up the mountain to reach the peak and realised I aint there quite yet. What you thought was the peak wasnt, you didnt turn around and say " Oh well " You embraced the situation, slapped a smile on your face, rolled up your slevees and started moving forward. That is nothing short of inspirational to anyone. Highs and lows will come to test you, to teach you. Nothing but a lesson. You've learnt ways to deal with it, and even if you dont, it will reveal itself in time. You done good ! LOL I'll leave you with a song again
Dad_of_3 Posted January 10, 2007 Posted January 10, 2007 "Somewhere I Belong" By Linkin Park (When this began) I had nothing to say And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused) And I let it all out to find That I’m not the only person with these things in mind (Inside of me) But all the vacancy the words revealed Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel (Nothing to lose) Just stuck/ hollow and alone And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own [Chorus] I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long (Erase all the pain till it’s gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong And I’ve got nothing to say I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face (I was confused) Looking everywhere only to find That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind (So what am I) What do I have but negativity ’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me (Nothing to lose) Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own [Repeat Chorus] (My Favorite part in the song!) I will never know myself until I do this on my own And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed I will never be anything till I break away from me I will break away, I'll find myself today [Repeat Chorus] I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong Somewhere I belong
Author PWSX3 Posted January 13, 2007 Author Posted January 13, 2007 DO3, thanks for the song, it's funny how many times I have listened to that song but never paid attention to the words. I am getting me a pretty good selection of music from country, gospel, rock, & others that are a great help.
Author PWSX3 Posted January 13, 2007 Author Posted January 13, 2007 Gunny posted this in another thread, but I feel it's so important that I pasted it here so I will be able to look at it and keep me on track and focused on what "I" need to do. I changed it just a little so it sounds like I'm asking the question because that is who should be asking these questions. How did "I" grow from the experience? What did "I" learn? What were "MY" faults? What were "MY" shortcomings? What will "I" do differently, next time? What weaknesses, in myself have "I" identified? And what am "I" doing to overcome them? What strengths have "I" identified, and what am "I" doing to build upon them? You don't have to answer these questions to me, us, ~ but to yourself! __________________ "Leave me alone or I'll find someone else who will" Jim Belushi Thanks Gunny for all the inspirational things you post so we who want to better ourselves have something to work with.
ilmw Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 DO3, thanks for the song, it's funny how many times I have listened to that song but never paid attention to the words. I am getting me a pretty good selection of music from country, gospel, rock, & others that are a great help. Its strange how some songs can raise different emotional responces in different people... also.. some songs... can connect us... to different things... ie: "our song" I think... if we can slow down... and listen to the words of a song... we are taking a moment also for ourselves.... and to slow down... to "smell the roses"... is so important to our sanity... and emotional health.. Keep up the good work...PW.. ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted January 13, 2007 Author Posted January 13, 2007 Keep up the good work...PW.. ilmw Seeing what we (as many of us here at LS are doing) need to do is the first step, [/b]learning to do them is in entire new ball game[/b] and it's going to take time. Last week when me and the W met she said she wasn't able to afford her half of our sons school bill. As the fixer male person I am I again looked at it as her asking me what she should do instead of just saying; I'm sorry to hear that hopefully you will come up with a solution and just leave it at that. Then Monday when we emailed back and forth about it she reminded me that she wasn't asking me for help that she was TELLING ME she couldn't afford it. Why is it I seem to be able to talk to people I work and strangers and everything seems O.K. but when I talk to the W I just fall apart??? I was listening to a show on the radio and Lou Holtz (I think that is his name, a collage football coach) was saying how we can talk to a stranger better then we talk to our spouse and that's so true. We take out our frustrations on our spouse without even noticing we are doing it, we use them to vent our anger and don't realize the damage it can do. It was very good to hear that little half hour show and when it was over I just sat in my car and cried. I keep getting all this help from all kinds of areas and it does give me hope, but then I also get down on myself because of what I have done and if I had learned this 2-5-10-40 years ago how different things could be. Thanks Ilmw for the support and as we all keep posting it does help each other see and learn how we can move forward.
ilmw Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 I was listening to a show on the radio and Lou Holtz (I think that is his name, a collage football coach) was saying how we can talk to a stranger better then we talk to our spouse and that's so true. We take out our frustrations on our spouse without even noticing we are doing it, we use them to vent our anger and don't realize the damage it can do. It was very good to hear that little half hour show and when it was over I just sat in my car and cried. I hear yah buddy... I see myself in my mind doing this... over and over again... Never again... will I do this... to vent to your SO is one thing.. to go on and on and on about the same thing.. you will do nothing about... blah blah blah... To live with regrets.... I don't won't them...anymore... Yeah I screwed up some things... but Damn I have learned from them.... and the longer this goes on.... the more I realise... I am growing ... truly growing.. for the better.... I have come to see life for what it realy is.... seizing the moment... and enjoying each day as it comes.... To have a fond memory for each day I live ... is now a small goal.... I have set.... Hay what happened there.... I started to rant.... I better go out... Take care bud.. ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted January 13, 2007 Author Posted January 13, 2007 well I'm hard at work reading the last pages of my relationship book "Getting the Love You Want." (not busy on Saturday mornings:D) Since I feel the W isn't ready to work on our relationship it's time for PW to move forward on bettering himself. Money has always been an issue with "me" (I don't want to put the wife (we) in that sentence because she has to do her own thing) so my next book will be one about getting a hold of my finances. We have always lived paycheck to paycheck no matter how much we made. I have been one of those people that would rather spend my money on the motorcycle freestyle show (which just happen to be in town this weekend) then pay a bill so it's time to change that thinking. Gunny has suggested some books so I'm going to start reading them. I helped my son open up a checking account and I'm going to start helping him learn how to be responsible with his money and we can work at it together. I know a budget is the first thing you need and I started one 4 months ago when the W moved out, but I feel I need to refine it just a little. She was the one did most of the bills so I need to clean out the drawer of receipts and start my own system that I can understand. Getting outside my box and learning something new!!!!
Gunny376 Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Yea, its time for you guys to move forward in and with your life! The DW's don't want to be a part of the game, take your ball and go start a new game. I'm not saying you've got to become a fireman running around all over town putting out other women's "fires" But, its time to sign on with realization that its very possible that you won't ever get back with the wives! The last thing you want me to do is to sign your azz up for the 2, 4, 6 Medical Plan. I see either of slipping back in "pity party" mode its going to take two doctors, four nurses, six hours to get my foot out of your azz! In setting up a budget, the first thing you need to do is to track where every single penny is going for thirty days. For example if you stop by the local convience store and get a cup of coffee for $1.05 on the way to work that's $10,920 over a forty year work carrer. All of that adds up over the course of a lifetime, and its the little things that will determine how your going to spend the "golden years" The way I did it was I tracked it using Quciken. I used a debit card, for all of my purchases, keep the itemized receipts, and then on Sunday enter it on the computer. If you worry about your pennies, you won't have to worry about your dollars. Again I would recomend Mary Hunts "Debt Proof Living" program, (she's got a website, and monthly newsletter that you can get via the internet {recommended} or through snail mail. I recommend signing up for the electronic newsletter because that will give you access to the fourmns, and all the back issues of the newsletters. They're chalked full of money saving, cost cutting ideas, and experiences of people.) Some of the books you might be interested at her bookstore are: "Once a Month Cooking" by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg. Its a book about shopping one day, cooking one day, and have enough entree's prepared for the family for an entire month. Then its just a matter of popping it out of the frezzer in the morning before you go to work, come home bidda~bing, bidda~bong, nuke some veggies and maybe a salad. If you've got a Food Saver vaccum sealer like I have, the life shelve can be extended literally to years, (2-3). The vacum sealer will also allow you to take advantage of "family packs" of meat and bulk purchases such as at Sams (big money savings), you can then get them home and separtate them into usable portions. The shelf time goes from months to up to 2-3 years. Once-a-Month Cooking A proven system for spending less time in the kitchen and enjoying delicious, homemade meals every day. The beauty of once-a-month cooking is that it provides the convenience of a home meal replacement (the restaurant industry's jargon for the take-out meal) with the aroma, appeal, taste, nutrition, and cost savings of home cooking. For the investment of one large grocery haul and a day of mega-cooking, you have a month's entrees available on time each day with little effort on your part. Trade paperback, 225 pages, 2001 Price: $12.99 "Debt-Proof Living - All New, Revised Ediiton Since it was originally released in January 2000, this highly practical book has led people out of debt and into successful living without dependence on credit cards. Debt-Proof Living has sold nearly 100,000 copies, having enjoyed the #2 spot on Amazon.com. This All-New Edition updates and incorporates changes in the world of consumer finance to keep this book cutting-edge relevant. Getting out of debt is no small feat! It requires courage, commitment and a simple plan that works. Remaining debt-free is remarkable and what debt-proof living is all about. And untold thousands of people have done just that following the plan outlined simply and logically in Debt-Proof Living. Debt-Proof Living. It's like giving yourself a raise. Price: $16.99 Live Your Life For Half The Price You work hard for your money--really hard! And every month you hope to start saving some of it. But things happen, stuff comes up. You dream of having enough money to have the things you really love and to have fun too. But you worry that living below your means will destine you to poverty and never having what you want. In this book, Mary Hunt puts that myth to rest. With the right strategies and commitment you can pay your bills, prepare for the future and live the life you love -- all on your ordinary income. Mary Hunt has a knack for taking the fear out of money matters with her trademark warmth, humor and engaging style. In Live Your Life For Half The Price she hands readers the tools, weapons and motivation they need to slash the cost in every spending area without sacrificing joy and quality of life. Aimed specifically at people who are tired of working hard to just get by, this user-friendly guide offers the specific techniques, resources, and motivation you need to keep more of your money every month so you can save, give, and finally start making financial progress! So isn't it about time for you to get off the money roller coaster? This might not be the only money book you'll ever need, but it's the book you need now! Price: $23.99 Debt Proof Your Marriage-Softcover While financial disharmony can blow a marriage apart, financial harmony can bind it together. In this highly practical book, Mary Hunt helps couples bring the principles of intimacy -- the foundation for harmony and debt-free living -- into management of their money. This essential guide will help couples of all ages and stages protect both their marriage and their money. Softcover, 288 pages, 2004 Price: $12.99 Debt-Proof Your Kids, by Mary Hunt What grade would you give your parents for how well they prepared you to manage your finances? What grade will your kids give you someday? At best you have 18 years to teach your kids how to manage money skillfully. If you fail to do that, you're setting your kids up for a lifetime of miserable debt. But if you teach them to be effective money managers now you will send them into the world with the gifts of confidence and self-determination. So how do you accomplish this overwhelming challenge? That's where most parents hit a block wall. They feel about as confident to teach money management to their children as the kids want to sit through boring lessons about how money doesn't grow on trees. Don't panic! Everything you need to get the job done is right here in this book. You're about to learn an amazing and proven method for raising financially confident kids. This is real life teaching. Money is the best tool to teach kids how the real world operates, and it prepares them to live successfully in the real world, too. Think it's too late to debt-proof your kids? It's only too late if you don't start NOW! Price: $14.99 Overload Syndrome Learning to Live Within Your Limits. Do you dread going to work? Are your relationships strained from stress? Do you wish you could check into a hospital just to get some sleep? From the author of the best-selling book, Margin (available in The Cheapskate Bookstore), Dr. Richard Swenson calls it like it is: Busyness. Stress. Overload. Anyone living in today's society knows the struggle of trying to handle the load of life in the new millennium. You're suffering from a virulent new disease that affects millions of people, The Overload Syndrome. Trade paperback, 216 pages, 1999
ilmw Posted January 13, 2007 Posted January 13, 2007 Yea, its time for you guys to move forward in and with your life! The DW's don't want to be a part of the game, take your ball and go start a new game. I'm not saying you've got to become a fireman running around all over town putting out other women's "fires" But, its time to sign on with realization that its very possible that you won't ever get back with the wives! The last thing you want me to do is to sign your azz up for the 2, 4, 6 Medical Plan. I see either of slipping back in "pity party" mode its going to take two doctors, four nurses, six hours to get my foot out of your azz! :lmao: ..Nice one Gunns No worries there bud.. I am actually doing pretty good these days.... Went out to the store.. just got back actually... and enjoyed the drive... just for the drive... took a longer route... just to take longer... it was nice.. As for the cash/savings thing.. thanks for the info.. I am actually doing quite well on that front.. the car is paid for.. I was smart.. and also lucky that I scored my apartment... pay less than what it is worth.... I have already save since.. Aug. $5000.00 I'm looking at buying a house in the fall... and am well on track to have a nice down payment for it.... Also.. with my pension... which I get.. when I retire..(in several years) I'll be set for that.. I have a plan... and no one is going to screw it up... It is my life... and I want it to be a good one.... no more drama... no more... mistakes.. I have learned so much since I have been on LS.... and having a plan... that makes sence.. and is realistic.. is one of them.... No more flying from the seat of my pants... and hoping it turns out ok... Knowing where I want to go... and how to get there.... is also a big one... My take on life is this now... I know where I want to go ... and be... if you want to hop on board and take that ride with me... you better have the same thought pattern... cause if you get in my way... your gonna get run over... See... no pity party... no wussing out.... I am taking a stand... and that is where I am gonna be....
Recommended Posts