Another trial separation chapter 2

[PWSX3]

some great ideas there.. I'm stealing the cd idea of top 100... ... doing it for DW for her BD in Jan.....

 

Thanks... you should have copywrited it.... :lmao: :lmao:

 

ilmw

If you decide to use it then you are more then welcome, glad I could help.

 

When it comes to ideas for stuff to do for your spouse I'm really good at that, I just wish I could trade a little of that in for the parts that I'm not so good at. :laugh:

[PWSX3]

For all the gals here on LS that have been so helpful to me and my situation for the Holidays I am giving out BIG HUGS (((((((-0-))))))))))

 

And for all the guys here on LS that have so helpful to me and my situations for the Holidays I'm also giving you BIG HUGS (((((((-0-))))))) equal opportunity/hugger kind of guy

 

I am here at work, listening to Christmas music, dancing in my chair, tapping my foot and feeling good about myself.

I have no pressures of the Holiday of where we are going and what we are going to do, etc.

Sure I miss the W and sure I miss being with her, but there is nothing I can do about that so I am making the best out of what I do have control over and that is me being happy.

 

Everyone here on LS has been so much help in helping me on my direction of what I need to do for myself, for sharing what they have done so hopefully I won't have to do the same mistakes (even though I have:D:laugh:)

 

New Years is the W's Birthday but it doesn't look like I will be celebrating it with her, I have asked her a few times to do things with me and she has said; no, so I sent her a nice email telling her I know she isn't ready to work on things and when she is I hope she will ask me to join her in activities.

 

Meanwhile I can't just set and wait on her so I'm planning a day trip to the mountains to go snow-shoeing with a friend so I hope for good weather. I went once last year and it was a lot of fun so I want to try it again.

 

Who knows how I would be handling things without LS and all the great people that have read and replied to my threads, I doubt I would be out having fun, learning who I am, etc. I still have a lot to learn and a long ways to go, but I do see even though I miss the W I can move on without her if that is what happens, but the best part is no matter what happens I will be a kinder person.

 

I just wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and if you don't believe in Christmas then have a great weekend anyways!!!!

 

 

 

On a side note I was talking to the W and she told me how she is having trouble with paying her bills. I bought some laundry soap and it was a bigger box then I needed so I told her I would share mine and she said that was very nice of me to do that.

 

I don't know if I should share of buy things for her but in my heart it feels good and I guess that is what counts.

 

I hope she will be able to start understanding that money was a big part of our situation and that it wasn't just me that made it bad like she has told me. It all comes down to what you feel is more important and what you can do with or without and that is something she will need to learn.

 

I just hope she sees it as being nice and not being controlling as I can see it could be, but that is up to her how she sees it, I know what it means for me to give and help her.

 

Thanks everyone:bunny::bunny::bunny:

[ilmw]

YOUR WELCOME...

 

Thank you yourself... you have come to contribute to others more than I think you know...

 

You to have come far.... and still come out with more insightful.. stuff..

 

So thank you again... and happy festaviss... oh I mean Christmas....

 

ilmw

[PWSX3]

Oh I'm sorry, for my Canadian friends

 

Appy Olidays :lmao: "A"!!!!

 

 

 

It's a joke, I used to get email from a gal that lived up north and she would never type her "H"......

[PWSX3]

Last night I had a dream about the W and me, it was kind of wierd because it was someplace besides my house yet there was stuff of both of ours there.

 

I was trying to help clean up some of my stuff when she started to get mad and then I started to move some of her stuff around and dropped a statue type item and she got really pissed (even though she didn't see what it was) and went into the other room.

 

When I went to talk to her I could tell I was very pissed walking down the hall but when I opened the door she was standing there looking very angery/scared and started screaming at me.

I in turn just calmly explained what had happened that I dropped something trying to clean around it and I was sorry, but it was fine and then I walked away and instead of going out the door I went into like a closet that had a hatch like you would go into the attic and I left that way.

 

Sometime during the dream she had said she was moving out of town because it was to hard for her seeing me so happy and I just asked how we were to get back together if she moved and she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to get back together.

 

Not sure what it all means, but I look at the positive part that I was able to talk to her in the dream in a calm voice that I explained what had happened and I didn't get mad and attack back.

 

Maybe someone else might have an idea why I had such a dream? I have only had one other dream about us since she has moved out.

[dgiirl]

Oh I'm sorry, for my Canadian friends

 

Appy Olidays :lmao: "A"!!!!

 

lol

 

 

Not sure what it all means, but I look at the positive part that I was able to talk to her in the dream in a calm voice that I explained what had happened and I didn't get mad and attack back.

 

Maybe someone else might have an idea why I had such a dream? I have only had one other dream about us since she has moved out.

 

Personally, I believe my dreams was simply my mind trying to make sense of the whole situation. Also, whenever there was any progress in my real life, the dreams would change.

 

I think this is what's going on with yours too. Your mind is still trying to understand that you are separated, that you guys are packing, and it's possible you might not get back together. But at the same time, you have changed your old ways and it's apparent in your dream. I think it shows how much you really are working hard to change for the better.

[chadnickole]

I had a dream about a month ago, Now bare with me it is sexual!!

 

I had I dream that I was performing oral sex on my wife and it was going pretty well, real good vivid dream......

Well When I woke up I was licking and sucking on my pillow case:eek:

 

But I know what that dream was about

 

 

Sorry has to get a little shock value going

 

Take care PWSX3

[PWSX3]

I had a dream about a month ago, Now bare with me it is sexual!!

 

I had I dream that I was performing oral sex on my wife and it was going pretty well, real good vivid dream......

Well When I woke up I was licking and sucking on my pillow case:eek:

 

But I know what that dream was about

 

 

Sorry has to get a little shock value going

 

Take care PWSX3

 

Now that is some funny stuff right there....:lmao::D

The other dream I had was the W flashing her chi-chi's and acting like it was no big deal and that is something she would never do, but that was about a month ago and I just figured it was because I was missing them.

[ilmw]

Hmmm ... I see another thread getting racy..

 

I wish I remembered my dreams.... Its like I go to bed.. close my eyes... and then I wake up... hopefully somewhat rested....

 

I don't like going to bed.. (well alone.. )... (thought I'd add to the new atmoshphere of this thread:p .. :lmao: )

 

I remeber being a kid and looking forward to bedtime.. as I would have such cool vived dreams... like watching a movie in my mind... then... grew up... and it is like dying every night.... kinda sucks.. actually....

 

ilmw

[Delarocha]

Hmmm ... I see another thread getting racy..

 

I wish I remembered my dreams.... Its like I go to bed.. close my eyes... and then I wake up... hopefully somewhat rested....

 

I don't like going to bed.. (well alone.. )... (thought I'd add to the new atmoshphere of this thread:p .. :lmao: )

 

I remeber being a kid and looking forward to bedtime.. as I would have such cool vived dreams... like watching a movie in my mind... then... grew up... and it is like dying every night.... kinda sucks.. actually....

 

ilmw

 

Not surprising considering my current situation, but I too dread going to sleep anymore. More than anything though I dread waking up. I can vividly remember dreams when my wife and I were still "ok" that I swear I was seeing into the future. (Maybe my own mind trying to tell me the truth). I remember us in our dream deciding that we needed space even though I didn't want that. Amazing part is that is exactly where I am today. (Again, maybe not so amazing.) Anyway, the thing I do remember is waking up feeling overwhelmed with grief and just rolling over and holding my wife and feeling so in love with her. I remember waking up literally crying because I wanted to hold her so tight and show her I loved her at that moment. I remember being so relieved it was only a dream and she was right there beside me in bed.

 

Now the opposite happens. I wake in my bed in the morning and remember that she is gone. Usually I can instantly feel my stomach fill with acid as my eyes fill with tears. It's been better and better each day, but I hate mornings and I hate evenings. I pray that I won't have dreams where everything is ok, so that I don't wake into my real situation and have real life seem more like a nightmare.

 

On the other hand, I had a self fulfilling prophecy that lead me to separation. Perhaps I can count on my dreams to help me work on myself and have a self fulfilling prophecy of a second chance.

 

Ahhh, live to dream eh? or is is dream to live? Hehehe...

[dgiirl]

I pray that I won't have dreams where everything is ok, so that I don't wake into my real situation and have real life seem more like a nightmare.

 

I had the same type of dreams. Having a dream where i wake up in the dream and very thankful that the divorce was only a nightmare, only to really wake up and realize that no, my life was truely the nightmare. It was torture. And it took a while before that knot of dread in my stomach each morning would go away. It took atleast a year if not more before my first thought in the morning didnt have to do with my divorce.

[PWSX3]

SO ARE WE IN THE NEWS!!!????

 

We are finally getting a good snow storm and I was the last out of 4 people at work to leave at noon. Just gave me time to go out and play and help my dad with his drive at the shop. (I have a nice snow blower) Now he is doing his drive and then it will be my turn.

I just LOVE a white Christmas and I was afraid we weren't going to get one but it looks good now.

 

This morning I called the W just to let her know it wasn't very nice out and to be careful since she drives 20-25 miles to work. She said thank you for calling and I just told her I was worried about her and she said we both still worry about each other.

 

Then around 2:00 this afternoon she called me to let me know she was headed home and was driving through main street (in the town she works in) and there is a big hill and people were getting stuck on it so she took a side street and decided that wasn't a good idea and got back on main

.

I just told her she made a good decission and to be careful because the roads were slick, she said she would call me when she got home.

 

Don't know if she is just being nice and it's just because we still care about each other or what, but it's good talk I guess.

 

Like I told ilmw someplace, just because us guys are learning what we need to do doesn't mean she is reading and learning that I can change and that we need to see how the other person is changing, and to read what types of things we can do to better what we had, etc. etc.

 

I have noticed most people on here that didn't get back together only one partner wanted to work on the relationship and so far I feel that is how mine is going, she may never figure it out until it's to late but we just won't go there just yet.

 

I really feel if she really wants to work on things that she will have to some how hit bottom such as I did. She just sees are separation as a way to get away from me and not to get away from her problems that helped get us where we are today. Is that being to judgemental on my part saying she also needs to learn?????????

[ilmw]

SO ARE WE IN THE NEWS!!!????

 

We are finally getting a good snow storm and I was the last out of 4 people at work to leave at noon. Just gave me time to go out and play and help my dad with his drive at the shop. (I have a nice snow blower) Now he is doing his drive and then it will be my turn.

I just LOVE a white Christmas and I was afraid we weren't going to get one but it looks good now.

 

This morning I called the W just to let her know it wasn't very nice out and to be careful since she drives 20-25 miles to work. She said thank you for calling and I just told her I was worried about her and she said we both still worry about each other.

 

Then around 2:00 this afternoon she called me to let me know she was headed home and was driving through main street (in the town she works in) and there is a big hill and people were getting stuck on it so she took a side street and decided that wasn't a good idea and got back on main

.

I just told her she made a good decission and to be careful because the roads were slick, she said she would call me when she got home.

 

Don't know if she is just being nice and it's just because we still care about each other or what, but it's good talk I guess.

 

Like I told ilmw someplace, just because us guys are learning what we need to do doesn't mean she is reading and learning that I can change and that we need to see how the other person is changing, and to read what types of things we can do to better what we had, etc. etc.

 

I have noticed most people on here that didn't get back together only one partner wanted to work on the relationship and so far I feel that is how mine is going, she may never figure it out until it's to late but we just won't go there just yet.

 

I really feel if she really wants to work on things that she will have to some how hit bottom such as I did. She just sees are separation as a way to get away from me and not to get away from her problems that helped get us where we are today. Is that being to judgemental on my part saying she also needs to learn?????????

 

Well ...hmmm.. has she ever taken any portion of the blame for your seperation...

 

If yes... you could wonder what she is doing about the reasons for her part...

 

We are reading and learning.... discovering what are part of the problem was.... as for me... and I'm sure you for you and many others putting in the time to learn.. we have learned things about ourselves and relationships... we had no clue about before....

 

Kinda weird... a man possibley being more aware and cognizant of a relationship... than a woman... (I guess we have the balls to admit mistakes... and are willing to adapt.. evolve... to be better men.. and/or husbands.... )

 

ilmw

[PWSX3]

Well ...hmmm.. has she ever taken any portion of the blame for your seperation...

 

If yes... you could wonder what she is doing about the reasons for her part...

 

We are reading and learning.... discovering what are part of the problem was.... as for me... and I'm sure you for you and many others putting in the time to learn.. we have learned things about ourselves and relationships... we had no clue about before....

 

Kinda weird... a man possibley being more aware and cognizant of a relationship... than a woman... (I guess we have the balls to admit mistakes... and are willing to adapt.. evolve... to be better men.. and/or husbands.... )

 

ilmw

 

Funny you ask, because I don't remember her saying sorry part of this is my fault or I also have things I could work on to make our relationship better.

 

Dude, I'm glad you said this.

Kinda weird... a man possibley being more aware and cognizant of a relationship... than a woman... (I guess we have the balls to admit mistakes... and are willing to adapt.. evolve... to be better men.. and/or husbands.... )

I'll let the gals gang takle you but I do agree as Gunny has said; we have manned up to our responsibility and you are 100% correct there are things I did that I had NO CLUE that were things I should not be doing in a relationship.

 

For me just learning those things has made it easier for me to understand how I was treating not just the W but other people as well. What I am learning about marriage is also leaking over onto my daily life and that is what is also helping me out.

[ilmw]

I'll let the gals gang takle you but I do agree as Gunny has said; we have manned up to our responsibility and you are 100% correct there are things I did that I had NO CLUE that were things I should not be doing in a relationship.

 

 

Whoooa... that was not a generalized comment... or a blanket statement... ... it was our own relationship specific..

 

So no gang tackling.. please.... well ,,, hmmmm maybe,,, ( )

[dgiirl]

sometimes I really do feel like i was the man and my ex was the woman in our relationship. I can relate to a lot of what you guys are talking about. My relationship IQ was never the best. I believed in being honest and being frank and trusted that other's were telling me the truth when they spoke to me.

[PWSX3]

Well if it's not in the news we are having one heck of a snow storm today, I got to go home early because of it so since I have a snowblower I went to my dad's shop and did his drive for him, then I went over to his house and did his house and while I was over there the W called and said she made it home but got stuck turning into there parking area. (she lives in a 4 plex)

 

I told her I was out snowblowing and she asked if I would bring it by so she could use it? So after eating some chili with my folks I headed over there and by then the neighbors had helped her get her car unstuck and parked out on the street.

 

I did a couple paths with the snowblower then she did a few then I did a few until we got most of it finished. Then I helped her get her car out of the street and into the parking area which wasn't an easy thing to do, she would just set and spin.

 

Anyway after we got the car parked we used the snowblower some more and got half of it done, enough they can park.

 

After we loaded the snowblower up she asked me if I wanted and "hug" and I don't know if you noticed but I like hugs so I'm not going to reuse that. She also said; thank you VERY MUCh and she appreciated me not just coming over and doing it, but I let her help and we did it together.

 

Then we called each other a couple times because I had to get our boy and since he is going to work at the school tomorrow he is spending the evening with me.

 

Then I came home, did my half of the duplex along with the other half, two other duplex neighbors so I'm a tired camper that's for sure, but it felt very good helping the W with her parking area.

 

She also gave me the book The Five Languages that she had bought 5 years ago and said I could read it and hightight anything I wanted.

 

For a snowy cold day it was a lot of fun!!!!!!

[ilmw]

Well if it's not in the news we are having one heck of a snow storm today, I got to go home early because of it so since I have a snowblower I went to my dad's shop and did his drive for him, then I went over to his house and did his house and while I was over there the W called and said she made it home but got stuck turning into there parking area. (she lives in a 4 plex)

 

I told her I was out snowblowing and she asked if I would bring it by so she could use it? So after eating some chili with my folks I headed over there and by then the neighbors had helped her get her car unstuck and parked out on the street.

 

I did a couple paths with the snowblower then she did a few then I did a few until we got most of it finished. Then I helped her get her car out of the street and into the parking area which wasn't an easy thing to do, she would just set and spin.

 

Anyway after we got the car parked we used the snowblower some more and got half of it done, enough they can park.

 

After we loaded the snowblower up she asked me if I wanted and "hug" and I don't know if you noticed but I like hugs so I'm not going to reuse that. She also said; thank you VERY MUCh and she appreciated me not just coming over and doing it, but I let her help and we did it together.

 

Then we called each other a couple times because I had to get our boy and since he is going to work at the school tomorrow he is spending the evening with me.

 

Then I came home, did my half of the duplex along with the other half, two other duplex neighbors so I'm a tired camper that's for sure, but it felt very good helping the W with her parking area.

 

She also gave me the book The Five Languages that she had bought 5 years ago and said I could read it and hightight anything I wanted.

 

For a snowy cold day it was a lot of fun!!!!!!

 

You had some great opportunites to shin on a otherwise overcast day...

 

Who needs a parka.. when all the warmth you got from your DW

 

Good stuff PW... keep this up.... and how could she resist you...

 

BTW.. I live in a snow belt here.. and we have NONE... yeah baby...

 

Looks like they are calling for a green xmas too.. which is a shame for all the kiddies... (nothing like waking up to a white Christmas.... )

[Gunny376]

Attta Boy, there Perry!

[dgiirl]

BTW.. I live in a snow belt here.. and we have NONE... yeah baby...

 

Looks like they are calling for a green xmas too.. which is a shame for all the kiddies... (nothing like waking up to a white Christmas.... )

 

I'm really really HAPPY we are having a brown xmas lol I could careless if the snow ever shows up.

 

PW, wow, great day indeed! I think it's really important that she opened up to you and told you that she appreciated you coming over to help AND you let her help too. That probably made her feel valued, capable and respected. Good job!

[PWSX3]

Another good update!!!

 

This morning I had to park the Kia Sorento and bring out the Explorer (6" of lift and 35" tires and locked).

I think we got around 16-18" of snow with drifts.

 

I got Patrick to his school so he could work shoveling and then I went over and helped my dad dig out. When I finished I called the W and asked if she wanted help again? She said that would be great and so while I was going over there I called her back and just asked if she wanted to help me with my drive and then my dad's shop? She said she would like to help out so we spent from 8:00-3:00 today helping each other shovel out, helped a few of the neighbors.

 

While we were shoveling out her parking area one of the other gals that live in the same 4 plex came out and the W introduced me as her husband. That really felt good to know she thinks of me that way.

 

I had grabbed the Christmas cards that we have recieved and were going to look at them together at my dad's shop? She had suggested earlier that we look at them together and I thought that was a good idea.

 

We finished and forgot about the cards so she just suggested we go grab a bite to eat so luckily a place that has really good rubiens was open (they only had two cooks & two waiters) so we shared a rubien as we have done in the past. Looked at cards and had a good visit.

 

On the way home she said she thought that our separation has been good for both of us, she said she is also changing but didn't go into detail.

She also said she had a very good time and enjoyed it even though we had to work. I said; I hope you had fun with me and she said yes she did, it was fun eating with me.

 

Oh, while we were going between a couple places we were talking about someone at her work that started cutting his hair as short as I do, I told her I almost shaved my head and she said I look good with the length that I keep it and I told her I had a good barber/hair cutter/whatever you call them to keep it looking good. She said even if she complained all the time when she cut it?

I said I didn't know she didn't like cutting my hair since she never told me, then I said; maybe sometime down the road she would let me know it bothered her so I would know and she said that person is gone, she is a new person now. It was good to hear her say she is changing even if it's just for her to be a stronger person.

 

Anyway another great day and a good time with the WIFE!!!!!:bunny::bunny:

 

She is still sticking to her guns on waiting 6 months before making up her mind, but I look at it as time for us to learn more about ourselves and to be better people so if the time ever comes we will be stronger and better prepaid to work as a team getting our relationship back on track.

 

I also got a christmas card from the W and she wrote; Merry Christmas to my new GREAT friend!!

I can't wait to get to know the new "you"!!!

[Gunny376]

I also got a christmas card from the W and she wrote; Merry Christmas to my new GREAT friend!!

I can't wait to get to know the new "you"!!!

 

As the University of Alabama legend Paul "Bear" Bryant use to say!

 

"BAM! THAT'S A GOODIE"

 

That's your "in" (don't go crazy on me Perry! We're not on the otherside of the mountain ~ we've not even reached the peak on this side ~ yet! As a matter of fact, you're still in the foothills.

 

You've still got a lifetime of learning to do, a lifetime of reading! (You and me both Brother! And both you and I are way, way behind!)

 

This is very personal, and something I've never shared with anyone else, other than my wife.

 

I told her:

 

I love you so much, I'd rather see you happy with someone else, than miserable with me!

 

The toughest job in the Marine Corps is being a Marines wife. I never worked less than 60 hours a week, 70 and 90 hours weeks were the norm. Pretty much, can to can't! I was up to it ~ she wasn't!

[PWSX3]

That's your "in" (don't go crazy on me Perry! We're not on the otherside of the mountain ~ we've not even reached the peak on this side ~ yet! As a matter of fact, you're still in the foothills.

 

You've still got a lifetime of learning to do, a lifetime of reading! (You and me both Brother! And both you and I are way, way behind!)

 

This is very personal, and something I've never shared with anyone else, other than my wife.

 

I told her:

 

The toughest job in the Marine Corps is being a Marines wife. I never worked less than 60 hours a week, 70 and 90 hours weeks were the norm. Pretty much, can to can't! I was up to it ~ she wasn't!

Gunny that is an awesome way to put it!!!

The one advantage I feel I have is I know I'm still at the base of the mountain but I'm ready to climb the 14er and it is going to take a lot of work, but I have my gear packed and ready to tackle the challenge!!!

 

I look at it this way, you have to learn to cook, you have to read up on fixing your vehicle, so why wouldn't you want to read up on how to be a better husband/wife as well?

It is no different and it's all a learning curve, but when you are thinking about it and it's in the back of your mind you might stop before saying something you wish you hadn't, you might do something you wouldn't have done before.

 

I even told her yesterday when we were eating that I have a lot more to learn and even if we get back together I'm not going to stop ready books, weather it's books for money, relationships, bettering myself, I'm still going to keep reading.

 

As for the working 70-90 hours a week, I'm on salary so they want you to work extra hours all the time, but I only work extra if I want to or I feel I need to. My off work time is to imporant to me because what I lose by working over 40 hours is time I'll never get to make up in my personal life and there are to many things I want to do.

[PWSX3]

Well I got another surprise from the W, she called and asked if I was home and if so could she drop something off for me?

 

I said that would be fine and so when she pulled up I went outside to meet her. She still doesn't want to come into the house nor has she invited me into her place but I can be patient on that part. I would like to see her place sometime because that would show me how she likes having things her way when she doesn't have to share space with anyone.

 

Anyway she bought me a hanging plant, it was one that looked like the one she tried killing that I had a long time ago. The reason I say that is because that is why she bought it, she said; it was to replace the one that is having trouble growing that she tried to kill and the boy knocked it down once with a football. I don't plan on giving up the old plant since I've had it for so long but I told her thank you very much for the new plant and I'll take good care of it.

 

I also got her DVD today in the mail and if any of my neighbors saw me they probably wondered what was going on since I was jumping up and down.

 

Now I'll be able to finish her Christmas prestent and I bought some awesome "PURPLE" wrapping paper to put it in. (Purple is my favorite color)

Two more days, I can't wait!!!!This year for me it's worse then being a kid and the funny thing is I'm not getting the present I'm giving and that feels SO GOOD!:bunny:

[ilmw]

Well I got another surprise from the W, she called and asked if I was home and if so could she drop something off for me?

 

I said that would be fine and so when she pulled up I went outside to meet her. She still doesn't want to come into the house nor has she invited me into her place but I can be patient on that part. I would like to see her place sometime because that would show me how she likes having things her way when she doesn't have to share space with anyone.

 

Anyway she bought me a hanging plant, it was one that looked like the one she tried killing that I had a long time ago. The reason I say that is because that is why she bought it, she said; it was to replace the one that is having trouble growing that she tried to kill and the boy knocked it down once with a football. I don't plan on giving up the old plant since I've had it for so long but I told her thank you very much for the new plant and I'll take good care of it.

 

I also got her DVD today in the mail and if any of my neighbors saw me they probably wondered what was going on since I was jumping up and down.

 

Now I'll be able to finish her Christmas prestent and I bought some awesome "PURPLE" wrapping paper to put it in. (Purple is my favorite color)

Two more days, I can't wait!!!!This year for me it's worse then being a kid and the funny thing is I'm not getting the present I'm giving and that feels SO GOOD!:bunny:

 

Hi PW

 

Sounds like you are realy doing great...

 

Its also nice to see your DW is reaching out by giving gifts to you... ... good sign... but (not for sure right)... to early on your journey up the mountain... to tell (right)

 

From that past several posts you have made... you have shown some amazing progress... and your attitude is becoming infectious...

 

BTW... what colour is your wifes favourite? (wrapping paper..hmmm?) Just a thought...

 

ilmw