Author PWSX3 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 THAT'S IT BUD! YOU'RE OUT OF HERE! NO MORE POSTING IN THE DIVORCE ~ SEPERATION SECTION. Well Gunny, I plan on staying around for a while, I hope I will be able to help others as I have been helped here. Even if it's just to help someone see there situation in a different way, if I can help just one person then I will be happy. When's the 10K walk? You just bought a new pair of shoes? What size? I hope you went up a half size than your normally buy. If not take them back and go a half size larger. If you're not use to it and haven't broken them in, you're going to be sorry! Make sure you get a good pair of extra thick cotton socks, and carry an extra pair with you. You might want to prep a blister kit in advance. Take this from a guy that use to hump twenty-five miles with a seventy pound pack, + flak jacket, helmet and rifle. I have a thread in the Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management but I walked for 4.5 miles before going to try on shoes, then the guy was very good and sized my shoe & yes it's a 1/2 size bigger then what I usually wear. Someone else said to buy something called moleskin in case I get sores on my feet. The race/walk is Memorial Day and they say it's the second biggest 10K in the states. I've been working out since Sept. so I just have to change my workout to walking each day to get my feet used to it and I'll be good to go. You might want to invest in a "camel-back" Its for carrying water on your back. Not very big. You can get them in the sporting goods section (camping section actually) at WalMart for about $12. Then trip on over to housewares, and find your an ice tray for making "tube" ice to go into water bottles and "tha' camel-back" I plan on buying one of these for hiking this summer & snow shoeing next year but for the walk they have water & Gatorade all along the course so you don't need to bring any extra. They also give you a snack at the end that is pretty good I have heard. You end up at the stadium & then you get to watch the pros finish the race so that will be fun as well & I'm taking my cell phone so I can meet up with friends at the end. As far as the financial deal ~ I'd really encourage you (again) to look into Mary Hunt's "Debt Proof Living" program. It takes a long time and a lot of hard work to get to the otherside ~ but once there it'll pay dividends for life. I've mentioned it to you before. I have been reading her book & I have already suggested to the W that we join the sight when we start working on that part. Just the little bit of reading that I have done has been very helpful but I guess on her site she has tools that can help you organize your bills & stuff and that is what I want. I stopped reading that book in order to read the Relationship Rescue book since I need to work at getting back together before the money part, I figured that was something we work on together. Glad to hear that you and the wife are doing so well. Just keep taking it slow ~ this ain't no horserace you know. One of the things that is helping is we are sharing in the decision making & she isn't NEAR as quick at thinking things out as I am so that helps (or makes me) me slow down and take my time. Just like the MC said, I am a IIIII type person & she is a ~~~~~~ type person so we have to make it a I~I~I~I type relationship in order for things to work.
ilmw Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 PW... continuing the good stuff... great to hear. 10k walk.. great idea.... with all that you have been doing ie: working out... and snow shoeing.. etc... you should have no problem.... If you are buy yourself... make sure you have some head phones and some good tunes... or if you are with some one else... make sure you really get along... Ive done some long distance marching before... did 100miles in holland in 4 days... (now that was fun)... got the photos of my bloody feet to show for it... and a Nice little Dutch Medal.. Once did 67km in 11 hrs... that was NOT fun... Anyway...enough about me... BTW...stay around for awhile.... you are a success story... it may give some folks the resolve to stick with it through a rough patch... and not throw away their marriage.. ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 PW... continuing the good stuff... great to hear. 10k walk.. great idea.... with all that you have been doing ie: working out... and snow shoeing.. etc... you should have no problem.... If you are buy yourself... make sure you have some head phones and some good tunes... or if you are with some one else... make sure you really get along... They don't allow head phones, I-pods etc. but I guess people do it anyway. I figure with 40-50 thousand people there I should find someone I can talk to and walk with. I figure by walking by myself I get to go my speed & I'll finish when I want to. Ive done some long distance marching before... did 100miles in holland in 4 days... (now that was fun)... got the photos of my bloody feet to show for it... and a Nice little Dutch Medal.. Once did 67km in 11 hrs... that was NOT fun... Anyway...enough about me... Between you & Gunny this 10K is just a little walk to the store but I'll take it over those long trips you guys have done. BTW...stay around for awhile.... you are a success story... it may give some folks the resolve to stick with it through a rough patch... and not throw away their marriage.. ilmw Ilmw, even though we have both decided to work things out I can tell having those 6 months to myself were very nice. I have learned that I need to compromise that I can't tell the W what to do, or be in control of what she does so hopefully that will give me extra strenght that I can use for the things I do have control over, "ME"!!. Last night I looked in one of our cupboards and there are more chips in there then I had in the last 6 months put together. I noticed the other day that I find myself not eating the foods I was eating before so tonight I got back on track and had a big salad. Now for some TMI, I do have to say the W is enjoying sex a lot more now & I am benefiting from that.. She has learned that feeling good isn't a taboo thing or bad thing but enjoyable. Last night the W did something she hadn't done in a long time & she just said she wanted to do it because she knew I would like it and I thought that was so nice because she did it to make me happy. (I'll let your minds go wild on that one, but it's not what you are thinking. :laugh:) To me that is what we need in our relationship, the feeling that we do things for each other because we want to not because we need to or we have to but because we know it will make our partner happy & that can be anything. I just know I always have some great people that are routing for me & if I have trouble I know I can come here and vent and that is a great feeling!!!
ilmw Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 :laugh::laugh:.. yeah bud... come on here... and vent... LS is such a great sounding board. ilmw
Gunny376 Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Last night the W did something she hadn't done in a long time & she just said she wanted to do it because she knew I would like it and I thought that was so nice because she did it to make me happy. She gave u a back rub with Ben-Gay and a heating blanket! You lucky "so-in-so'~!
ilmw Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 She gave u a back rub with Ben-Gay and a heating blanket! You lucky "so-in-so'~! :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:.... hey why am I laughing... I would kill to have that done......
Author PWSX3 Posted April 7, 2007 Author Posted April 7, 2007 It's the weekend and it's usually slow in here, but I have to toot my own horn. :laugh: Yesterday I weighed myself & I made it to 200 pounds.....:bunny::bunny: In Sept. I got handed me the separtion diet form & after a couple months I figure what the heck, might as well keep working at this weight thing and see where I end up at. I weighed 255 pounds & I had noticed a double chin appearing but didn't really think much more about it. I did notice my pants were getting a little tight & my shirts went from a XL to a 2XL. After a couple months I thought it would be cool to be 210 at the end of the year and so that was my goal and I made that one. Then I thought it would be nice to hit 200 and it looks like I finally made that one as well. Now my goal is to keep it off, keep learning to eat better, and keep working the old body to keep it in better shape, so it's off to the gym this morning (a little late) to workout for a couple hours. My 10K is just around the corner (Memorial Day) and I want to be ready for that. Things are going well, the W has been staying here at our duplex for the last two weeks, but hasn't moved much of her stuff back except the cloths and things she needs for everyday. I'm still having some strugles with some issues, but I hope I will be able to overcome those because they are things I have no control over, yet they do hurt me & make me sad and the biggest one is my dear W being overweight. Our MC told me to just be patient (haven't I heard that before :laugh:) that the W isn't as quick at changing things as I am & she feels that in time she will start working on that as well. I have noticed the one cupboard has filled with crackers, chips, etc. & to me if they aren't in the house you don't eat them so that is a new tempation I will have to overcome and so far I'm doing well with it. I think I understand I need to keep on the track that I started and that if I eat junk food the only person it will effect is me & I'm the only person I have to answer to so if I eat them I'm just hurting myself. It is good having the w here, I do enjoy out time together. She told me the other day she just feels like a visitor, but I think with time that will go away, specially if she brings some of her stuff over. She does like how clean I have the house and I think that might be part of it is she is afraid to get it dirty. These are things we just need to discuss & work out, and I'm ready to start working together as a team!!!!:love::love: Hope everyone has a great Easter weekend and remember it's not just a day of gathering eggs with the Easter Bunny
Author PWSX3 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 I am thinking that in the last 6 months I have changed in who I am, how I want things, what I want in the future and I'm wondering if how the W is, is doing to be what I am looking for???? We went over to her apartment last night to get her fish & just seeing how she kept up her place shows me how she lived even though she tells me all the time she likes a clean house and likes how I keep my place. We also worked on a budget and I found out she hasn't paid 2,100.00 on a bill in the last 3 months & she also has a credit card that she didn't tell me how much she owes but I have a feeling it's pretty high. Seems like we see a lot of things differently & I know I can't change who she is or what she wants. The last couple of weeks have seemed like we are just room mates..... If what they say in true that opposites attract then we will be just fine because I have a feeling we are like night & day. I am really having doubts on if getting back together is a good thing or not? She told me the other day I think about things to much & I need to just see what will happen in the next few months. Maybe I am just over reacting and I do need to slow down!!!!!
sumdude Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I am thinking that in the last 6 months I have changed in who I am, how I want things, what I want in the future and I'm wondering if how the W is, is doing to be what I am looking for???? We went over to her apartment last night to get her fish & just seeing how she kept up her place shows me how she lived even though she tells me all the time she likes a clean house and likes how I keep my place. We also worked on a budget and I found out she hasn't paid 2,100.00 on a bill in the last 3 months & she also has a credit card that she didn't tell me how much she owes but I have a feeling it's pretty high. Seems like we see a lot of things differently & I know I can't change who she is or what she wants. The last couple of weeks have seemed like we are just room mates..... If what they say in true that opposites attract then we will be just fine because I have a feeling we are like night & day. I am really having doubts on if getting back together is a good thing or not? She told me the other day I think about things to much & I need to just see what will happen in the next few months. Maybe I am just over reacting and I do need to slow down!!!!! Well, I would take it easy for sure. You've made it to a place most don't get to after a separation. Maybe you are now seeing with a clearer mind certain things that over time led to the problems in the first place. Irresponsibilty in regards to money has killed more than one marriage. One of those things that need to be resolved in some rational way between the two fo you.
Author PWSX3 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 Well just to add a little more excitement into me life, I went to work this morning and my manager was already there. That was a little strange since he is never there that early. I went inside and he called me into his office and handed me an envelope and said; sorry I have to let you go. I asked; what was the reason and he just said; things aren't working out. I guess that was a nice way of saying I wouldn't kiss his butt so he wanted me out of there. I did get my two weeks vacation & I got two weeks of serverance (?) pay. Like I have always said; things happen for a reason & maybe it was meant to be. I know I was tired of how he acted and I can see that branch won't make it with him being a manager because of his attitude. Oh well, now I get to look for a new job & still work on my marriage.
Ladyjane14 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Wow, I'm sorry to hear that PW. You know there's an old saying.. that 'when God closes a door, He opens up a window'. Maybe this will provide an opportunity for even better prospects to come your way.
a4a Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 P this could be a great opp for you. Start thinking about what you are really good at what can you do that will make you money but you would not care if you got paid because you actually enjoy it so much. Dream job/business. How bout starting a 4x4 tour company? Teach people how to drive a 4x4 ......... something you like...... something you can profit from. Hell just start something you like to do on the weekends for profit and then if you have to get a 8-6er job to pay the bills...... time to bust some ass and now you have an opp to really change your life! Have a super groovy day........
Gunny376 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Sorry to hear about the job lost, but you'll be alright. A good "gear-head" can always land worK, free lancing if nothing else. Trust me, their are enough mechanicially inept ~ (such as myself) that really depend on guys like you! Finding a good mech, is like finding a good job or good woman ~ once you've found one ~ you hang on to them! Mine does work from his house, and on the side from his regular 5 to 3 job. And when Larry fixes it ~ its fixed! Since having retired from the Corps ~ its never ceases to amaze me the number of incompetent people in managerial positions that couldn't manage to lead a bunch of starving Cub Scouts across the freaking street to a McDonald's giving away free hamburgers, after having been lost in the freaking woods for a month! My last job as a production supervisor in a millwork factory ~ the production supervisor was such an azz, the company sent him to a college class on how to deal with, manage, and "talk to people!" ~ TWICE! LOL, the only guy I've ever meet that could PYTFO by just saying "Good Morning!"
ilmw Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 WOW... that is bit of a blow... PW what are your labour laws like in Colorado?? How is it legal to just fire someone... Do they not have to have some kind of record of bad performance..and disciplinary action??? You might have a case for a law suit... (well You do live in the States):laugh: How are yeah doing bud? ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 WOW... that is bit of a blow... PW what are your labour laws like in Colorado?? How is it legal to just fire someone... Do they not have to have some kind of record of bad performance..and disciplinary action??? You might have a case for a law suit... (well You do live in the States):laugh: How are yeah doing bud? ilmw I don't call it getting fired since they gave me a severance pay, I think it all came down to my boss didn't like me because I wouldn't kiss his butt!!!! They don't have to have a reason to let you go, I know it wasn't because of my work because the gals in the office always told me how well I did my paperwork, and we had these things they call debits for when you have to send material back or you are shorted material, etc. and I only had 3 outstanding where most other branches have like 12 and above. I just plan on getting my a$$ out there and see what is available, I've been on line all day looking and there isn't anything I would qualify for.... I'm just trying to soak everything up today & not really doing much. I'm doing O.K. I know it wasn't because of my work or my work ethics, I just feel my boss didn't like me and that is about it. I did call a couple of our reps and they both said that was a very stupid move because I was the only one there with any kind of experiance. Just like everything else in life, you just move on & learn from it. Who knows what will happen, maybe this would be a good time to move or something, I've heard the western slope is a lot nicer then the front range.. Thanks everyone, it will be hard because jobs aren't all that plentiful right now but I will be O.K.
Gunny376 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 ilmw ~ most states have "at will" employment laws. You've the right to quit "at will" and they've got to let you go "at will" Forget the internet, newspapers etc. The way you find a job is through the people you know ~ your contacts, ~ your network. Get on the phone and let any and all know you're looking for a job. Time to call in your "markers" to any and everyone! The job I've got now, you can't get via those means. You've got to know someone. They were desperate to fill it with someone like me. But they would never advertise it, list it with the state employment agency, temp agency etc. They would never fill it with a woman, (because you work by yourself in an isolated area ~ and they do employ ex-cons) nor a minority, (because the ones that can do the work, have the education, the intelligence, etc ~ have moved away to better opportunities in Atlanta ~ Birmingham ~ we're talking rural Alabama here) for the pay they were offering to start out with ~ although they've been very generous with the pay increases since then. A big part of the reason I've got the job I have is because I'm capable and willing to work Wed - Sun. My weekend is Mon and Tue. That works for me at the present. Plus Holidays.
ilmw Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 ilmw ~ most states have "at will" employment laws. You've the right to quit "at will" and they've got to let you go "at will" Forget the internet, newspapers etc. The way you find a job is through the people you know ~ your contacts, ~ your network. Get on the phone and let any and all know you're looking for a job. Time to call in your "markers" to any and everyone! The job I've got now, you can't get via those means. You've got to know someone. They were desperate to fill it with someone like me. But they would never advertise it, list it with the state employment agency, temp agency etc. They would never fill it with a woman, (because you work by yourself in an isolated area ~ and they do employ ex-cons) nor a minority, (because the ones that can do the work, have the education, the intelligence, etc ~ have moved away to better opportunities in Atlanta ~ Birmingham ~ we're talking rural Alabama here) for the pay they were offering to start out with ~ although they've been very generous with the pay increases since then. A big part of the reason I've got the job I have is because I'm capable and willing to work Wed - Sun. My weekend is Mon and Tue. That works for me at the present. Plus Holidays. Wow...up here.. its a little harder to fire someone.. Well in a reputable organisation anway. If you are fired without cause, you have case of wrongful dismissal... Then again its Canada... and were all Socialists.....:laugh::laugh: BTW...my weekend is when ever I am off... it kinda works out... every other month.. I get time off on the traditional weekend. ilmw
Gunny376 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Then again its Canada... and were all Socialists. Damned Commiusts! :p :p (Just to clarify ~ I'm having fun with ilmw!)
Author PWSX3 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 I talked to the W on the phone a little today about what my plans are. She knew I have thought of maybe even moving and she told me; if I want to move I need to look for jobs on the other side of the mountain and she would be welling to move as well. She said she will support me in whatever I decide to do. I then told her about when she moved out that I really thought of getting my CDL and trucking over the road but I wanted to stay and work on my marriage which ended up working on myself. She told me that she has thought of us going on the road as a team truck driving duo, which I didn't know about but she thought it would be fun. I know we couldn't do that for a couple more years because of our boy still being in school, but that was something she has never shared with me. Gunny, I spent most of the morning calling customers that I am close to and letting them know what happened and they all said they would keep there ears open for me. I know word of mouth is very important for finding a job, that is how I got my last one. My old boss works at another supply house just up the street from where I worked and so I called him. He said they are looking for a delivery driver so I'm going to put an application in over there tomorrow.
sumdude Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 I talked to the W on the phone a little today about what my plans are. She knew I have thought of maybe even moving and she told me; if I want to move I need to look for jobs on the other side of the mountain and she would be welling to move as well. She said she will support me in whatever I decide to do. I then told her about when she moved out that I really thought of getting my CDL and trucking over the road but I wanted to stay and work on my marriage which ended up working on myself. She told me that she has thought of us going on the road as a team truck driving duo, which I didn't know about but she thought it would be fun. I know we couldn't do that for a couple more years because of our boy still being in school, but that was something she has never shared with me. As long as she really means what she says... that is great to hear. Sounds to me like one of those fresh new starts you hear about once in a blue moon. If you two can really work together on your futures it can be pretty amazing I think. I'm pullin' for ya!
ilmw Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Damned Commiusts! :p :p (Just to clarify ~ I'm having fun with ilmw!) Da Comrade, Hi как вы делая, я отлично. Я хотел был бы возблагодарить вас для всей помощи, котор вы давали меня в течении всех этих месяцев :lmao::lmao::lmao:..the things I do when I have some free time on my hands... ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted April 11, 2007 Author Posted April 11, 2007 Da Comrade, Hi как вы делая, я отлично. Я хотел был бы возблагодарить вас для всей помощи, котор вы давали меня в течении всех этих месяцев :lmao::lmao::lmao:..the things I do when I have some free time on my hands... ilmw That doesn't look like no spanish to me....:lmao::lmao::p:p
Author PWSX3 Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 Yesterday the W was going to meet me at home so we could go to MC together. Our appointment was at 4:00 and at 3:15 (time to leave home) she wasn't home so I just called and left a message saying; it was time for me to leave so I would meet her there. Something I have learned that instead of getting mad because she isn't ready that I'm just going to meet her wherever we are going. I'm glad I did because when I got there the MC listened to her messages and it was my W saying she was running late (1/2 hour) but she was on her way. This gave me time to talk to our MC about some of the same issues I for some reason just can't shake. I am having a hard time between controlling and being concerned/worried. For an example in the morning the W's alarm goes off & she just hits the snooze button. Then it goes off again & she will hit it again, then after the third time she gets up and is mad because she is running late. I have learned that is "NOT MY BUSINESS" but I just don't understand why if she sets her alarm then why she doesn't get up???:confused: Our MC told me there are many people out there that do that & just because she doesn't get up right away doesn't make it wrong or right, that is just how they function. She told me that it isn't my business that I need to let it go so this morning when her alarm went off I just snuggled up behind her and figured I would take advantage of her still being in bed and that worked great for me!!!!:laugh: I can't help it I'm a snuggling kind of guy.... I still have a lot of learning to do, I told the MC that I feel I just need to go back to how it was when I was by myself and she said in a way I do, but then she tried helping me find ways to change my thinking and he I think to myself because I do that often. She said even though I don't say some of the things out loud I'm still saying them to myself so I need to learn to say positive things to myself. When I do my thinking I need to change how I think. Besides that things seem to be getting better, I feel she is getting more comfortable being back in the house & she is slowly bringing some of her stuff back as well. I feel the W is trying her best to change some of the things she does that bugs me, but with the type of no worries personality she has it's hard for her. I still have hopes of being one of those low percentages that do work out, at least now I can tell myself; self you have done everything you can do for your marriage & I'm happy about that.
Gunny376 Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 She said even though I don't say some of the things out loud I'm still saying them to myself so I need to learn to say positive things to myself. When I do my thinking I need to change how I think. I've been giving some long though about your PM, and this post. You might want to check out a book called, "Self Talk" sorry can't remember the author off the top of my head, but it would be a good read for you. I might still have my copy around here somewhere ~ but then again I can't find my "White Trash Cooking" (actual book) cookbook?!
sumdude Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Don't even try to understannd the snooze thing. That definitely falls into the don't sweat the small stuff category. I know I'm a snooze button monster. I even sometimes blindly set my clock a few minutes fast too. Pick your battles man.
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