luvstarved Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 I am stuck at home today after a car accident yesterday so thought I might try to start a topic or two. Here's one... Does anyone feel that in their relationship the gender roles are reversed in any ways? If so, how? Maybe it is just one aspect, or maybe the woman feels more like "the man" or vice versa...???
quankanne Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 gender roles are less rigid in today's society, I think due to the fact that both parties in a marriage/relationship have to work to support their joint lifestyle. So each helps out in whatever way they can, based on their likes and their strengths. for example, my husband does most of the cooking, simply because he's the better cook (he's more creative) and because he's got the time to do it (he's retired). He also takes care of the vacuuming because he's better at it and because I hate it. But, I handle other clean-up duties in the house as well as laundry, and it seems to work out pretty well. we don't have kids, but we did inherit a small dog, so it's almost like having a kid in that we've got to take him to the vet for shots or when he's sick and we can't figure out what the problem is, or for regular grooming sessions. And DH is the one to do that because he's less restricted by office hours than I am. But I'm the one who does the bathing and toenail trimming, so it's a fair trade-off with our "dog-baby." I guess modern marriages are more about working together to make the household run more smoothly than back in my parents' day, when my dad was the wage-earner who had little involvement in our day to day lives, while my mother kept house and family under control. While it gave us a definite idea as to who did what, it also created a sense of separateness ... my dad wasn't the one you approached or asked for help from because he was like The Great Oz. Sort of mythical. Which is weird, because I see my nieces and nephews (and now their kids), and they don't have "hands off" relationships with their dads because their dads were involved with raising them from the get-go. ~~~~ sorry to hear about the car accident! Hope you mend quickly ...
Cheshire Cat Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 I am stuck at home today after a car accident yesterday so thought I might try to start a topic or two. Here's one... Does anyone feel that in their relationship the gender roles are reversed in any ways? If so, how? Maybe it is just one aspect, or maybe the woman feels more like "the man" or vice versa...??? I hope you fully recover soon from the car accident! Does women pursuing men count as gender roles being reversed? I see that happen a lot.
Author luvstarved Posted October 13, 2006 Author Posted October 13, 2006 I hope you fully recover soon from the car accident! Does women pursuing men count as gender roles being reversed? I see that happen a lot. Sure that counts! That's classic! My H and I are reversed in some ways but not others. He's a typical sports nut who hates to do housework, etc. But he is also much more emotional than I am, really. I do more house repairs, and he reads more spiritual stuff. He's more vain than I am, but not too vain, luckily. He has multiple orgasms and I don't. Just kidding about that last one. I wasn't actually injured in the accident...or was I? My hood flew open and smashed my windshield while I was driving down the highway!!! But thanks for the good wishes!
Guest Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 She does the laundry while I do more of the after work child care. I still do all the yard work, minor car repair/maintenance, garbage, and heavy lifting. She still does all of the dusting and glass. We split the floor cleaning. I primarily clean the toilets and she does the sink and mirror. I have a little problem with her wanting to put any unpleasant incidental jobs on me, and picking up after herself as she goes along (shoes, mail, coats, and shopping bags get thrown everywhere), but for the most part, it works out well. My jobs tend to be harder and dirtier, but hers take more time. Laundry with a baby can be copious (daily washing).
cutegirl Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I make way more than my bf and I pay all the bills, and I mean just about ALL, so therefore I make all the major decisions. If he wants to buy something and can't afford it he asks me if "we" can get it. We're both slobs so neither of us do housework or anything around the house really. We have a maid service come over and do all that stuff. I actually like to be the breadwinner. I don't think I want to be with a guy who outearns me, I would feel that he would have more power that way. I like to be in control and in charge so I think that's why I chose guys who aren't too successful or make too much money. I feel more in control this way. I also feel like a guy who earns more is more likely to cheat. I feel like a guy who is dependent on me financially is less likely to cheat because he needs me more. I know this is a really unhealthy way of thinking but I can't help but feel this way.
carmaenforcer Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I do all the cooking and laundry most of the time. There's nothing wrong with doing what ever. I love it when a girl takes it upon herself to pick up on the guy too, that's hot.
IpAncA Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Our roles some what mixed together because he does things better than me and I do things better than him.. He cooks more because I stink at it and I do laundry because he just can't. We both do yard work and he mostly does the car work and fixes things. However most of the inside house stuff is me because I like things done a certain way.
Rooster_DAR Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I am stuck at home today after a car accident yesterday so thought I might try to start a topic or two. Here's one... Does anyone feel that in their relationship the gender roles are reversed in any ways? If so, how? Maybe it is just one aspect, or maybe the woman feels more like "the man" or vice versa...??? Yup, count me in on this one. I felt with me and my EX that our roles were quite reversed. I think we both felt the same way, I was doing the Mr. Mom thing while she was taking on the typical guys responsibility. Actually, I also think this was part of the problem with us, I needed to be more of the man around the house. Not sure how this happened, but oh well. Lessons learned. Cheers!
Flyin in Clouds Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 gender roles are less rigid in today's society, I think due to the fact that both parties in a marriage/relationship have to work to support their joint lifestyle. Uh, in my neighborhood there are a lot of stay at home moms that don't work. They play tennis after dropping the kids at school, then off to the charity board meeting... And yeah, I'm the cheif, she's the cook. I do most things better than she does because I'm more the perfectionist. Laundry - she dumps everyting into the machine without much sorting. The machine has different temps/cycles for a reason. I do think stay at home dad's don't get much respect from society as a whole. For instance, at my wife's work functions I get asked "and what do you do", and saying I'm a stay at home dad, take care of the kids, etc. would get a polite "Oh", while saying I'm semi-retired computer consultant after selling my business gets more respect. I don't think I want to be with a guy who outearns me, I would feel that he would have more power that way. I like to be in control and in charge so I think that's why I chose guys who aren't too successful or make too much money. I feel more in control this way.So cutegirl likes doormats... ok,... takes all kinds. and yeah that's a real roll reversa. also feel like a guy who earns more is more likely to cheat. I feel like a guy who is dependent on me financially is less likely to cheat because he needs me more. I know this is a really unhealthy way of thinking but I can't help but feel this way. Hahahahahahaha... so a woman that is a stay at home mom and earns nothing is less likely to cheat on her husband while he's at work??? hahahahahahaha... Those ladies in their short tennis skirts... No I think I guy in your bf's situation would be more likely to cheat, unless he's a total doormat, because he'd want a woman he felt didn't have him under her thumb... good luck to you. (I don't think many guys like being doormats or in the subordnate role or the lower power position, most guys prefer to be dominate to a degree. having to ask to get stuff? Naw that won't go down well for long, particularly if you get married. Then he won't have to ask, he can just spend your money as he pleases.)
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