Guest Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 I'm not sure what forum this belongs in. What do you do when you and your friend meet someone whom you are both interested in? Background: There's this guy, Josh, that I met a few weeks ago. When I met him I felt an instant chemistry, and definitely wanted to get to know him better, "date", etc. I didn't realize it at the time I met him that the Josh I was meeting was the same Josh my friend Kelly had met a few weeks before that. Prior to me meeting him, she talked about him all the time and made it sound as though there was something going on between them. I basically encouraged her based on what she said. "Yay for you!" and that sort of thing. Then I met him and thought, "Uh oh, I like him too...this is a problem." Then it turns out he's not interested in Kelly at all, and is interested in me. I want to pursue this, so does he. Neither one of us want to hurt her feelings. She seems to have an "I met him first" kind of thing going on with any guy. You could literally meet a guy 5 minutes after her at the same mixer/function and it would feel like it's not allowed. Nothing ever happened between Kelly and Josh at all. In fact, in retrospect I see how he treated her like a buddy - talking abou football and beer, etc. So, how do I proceed? Just go with it and let her figure it out? Talk to her about it? What do I say? HELP!!!
Adunaphel Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 If I were your friend and you got together with this guy, our friendship would be over. Only, if you were honest with me and told me about it perhaps you'd still have my respect, and perhaps we could restore the friendship in a distant future. If you let me figure it out by myself, I'd classify you as a very low form of life. Some ladies are much more understanding than me when it comes to this kind of situation, but I still have to meet someone who wouln't feel treated like a fool and get very upset if left to figure out things on her own.
YellowLioness Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 I mean, for all you know he could be saying the same thing to her! Or, does she know that you're now in the picture? I agree w/ Aduna- it's a pretty crappy thing to do to a friend. In her position, I'd wonder if you were my friend all along. From someone's who has been there, men come and go. No friend is worth a man.
memati Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Best thing to do is be honest. Sit down with your friend and talk about it. She may be heart broken at first but she'll get over it. If you go behind her back and she finds out then it will be alot worse.
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