beckyrenee Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Hello to anyone out there who may be able to help me!! I have recently been dumped by my boyfriend of a year and a half. We moved in together 4 months ago and things started to go down from there. We have been fighting quite a bit and I have tried to be the women that he wanted me to be--with no luck. And now he says I have been 'smothering' him and he needs his freedom and space. However, due to finacial restricitons I was stuck living with him. Today I move out and I just dont know how to handle this. For 2 weeks I have done nothing but cry, I have barely eaten, and have tried in vain to get him to talk about this. Most of the time things are fine, we eat dinner together, laugh and joke. But then BAM!! I say something to upset him and we are back to barely tolerating each other. He wont discuss it--only to say that it is over and that is it. But I just cant understand how 2 people could be in love, talk marriage, and kids, only to have it be over due to a few petty fights. We had no major problems, no one cheated, no one lied, no one is doing drugs or drinking, so I just dont get it. All he will say is it just doesnt work and he is not happy. So anyway, what is NC? And what would be the best way to get him to see that things were not that bad and realize what an important part I play in his life? Thanks to anyone who responds!
agnf666 Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 NC = No contact of any form. Basically this gives you and him both time to heal. Time for you to move on. Sounds like you guys just weren't too compatable together once you guys moved in with each other. There are numerous threads here that will explain NC in better detail for you.
amaysngrace Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I don't think he wants to be with you anymore, from what you've said. But it sounds like you want him to. The best way to make him realize he's made a mistake in losing you, if he has, is to stop calling him. Go away now. He says he needs space. Give him space, gladly. He says he needs time. Give him all the time in the world. This is what NC is all about. It's about getting yourself together after a break-up so that you can pick up the pieces. It's also your very best chance of getting him to realize how much you mean to him. Seriously, how can he miss you if you won't go away?
ImInPain Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 amaysngrace is so right. They cannot miss you if you are in thier face. NC all the way. He may realize what he lost and he may not care but that is the chance you take. It is not easy and I am in it right now just on the other side because she won't call me. It will make you stronger.
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