Ladyjane14 Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 It's good to hear you're doing so well, CC. Damn Good! .. Last week, my EX called me for money ( hey there's a new one) after her long expalnation and stuff and my suggesting things to help her, she comes out and says, that she's scared to make any kind of decision..... as she's already made the biggest mistake in her life by leaving and ruining a good marriage and doesn't want to make it worse... I didn't ask her to repeat herself, I wasn't interested in hearing. that... Hmmm.... that sounds like a bit of a "feeler" to me. She might end up being a bit more direct when she realizes you aren't taking the bait.
Gunny376 Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 Congrats! You've buffloed everyone ~ to include yourself ~ but me! Sorry CC ~ not that easy! You don't do as many years in tha' s*** as you did, have two sons and walk away that easy! Guys that did less than a year in the "Nam" or Iraq don't get off that easy! What freaking gives you the "right" to crawl out of tha' trainwreck that easy? Are you kidding me? 23 freaking years, and a year later, you're fine? Give me a freaking break? You my friend have gone through a life-alerating event? Damn!
Author CryingCanuck Posted July 21, 2007 Author Posted July 21, 2007 What I'm doing is what I should have done a long time ago, I gave up trying to fix a dead issue. Did I ever love my EX?? yes no doubt, do I still? yes, but not the same way. My two boys I think, are much better off with the situation as it now is, they don't worry from day to day when is she going to go wacko on them or us? When is the next threat, when I walk through the door that I might find her not there or worse, or in the hospital from attempting to hurt herself or being called to a police station due to shoplifting or some other attention grabbing situation. So I guess maybe I did move on finally and when I did I took YOUR advice I cut loose and let it go. I still have very fond memories of my past but I'mlooking forward to my future, either with someone or alone, that is totally up to fate and me I guess. Anyway I dont think I got off that easy my friend, wounds are healing and they will take time but there will always be wounds.... So no I didn;t get off easy I simply moved on and trying as best that I can to cope and hopefully to be happy again. C.C.
Gunny376 Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 That's what I'm talking about! That's my MAN! That's my boy! (Boxing term) You tha" man! You're SO NOT dragging that dead horse around everywhere you go! Just keeping your azz real! I'm seriously thinking of putting your azz up for the "LS Manning-Up" of the year award! Its a toss up between you and ilmw?
Darth Vader Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I thought it was asianpride? LOL! Speaking of asian, you might wanna check out his thread now, looks like the STBX is doing that 180 thingy on him!
dgiirl Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Hey CC!! So glad to see an update on you Well really in all honesty not much has happened. I'm still wishy--washy about the divorce thing, but at least now I have come to the realization that eventually I or my EX will do it, it's just not knowing when... Some days I think I'm ready, then something stops me, again I want to believe it's my vow, you know the one... we make it when we say I DO ! ! ! But maybe it's that I'm still attached to my marriage, not my wife, but being married.... A safety net maybe, who knows but eventually I'll work it out and get it done. File when you are ready to CC. But I have some food for thought. Are you really living a marriage right now? Is this what marriage means to you? When I asked myself that question, my heart broke because I knew right then that I was being a fraud to what I believe marriage is about, and I found the courage to file. If I left it to my ex, I doubt we'd ever be divorced. He was simply content to be out of the house to play with his assistant any time he wanted too. I couldnt stand being in limbo, mostly because it kept me in false hope. Once the papers were signed, I was able to move on. I've been very busy the past 6 weeks, smoking is truly a thing of the past, haven't touched a smoke in over 14 weeks and loving it. Gained a ton of weight but hey, that will leave eventually right ? ?? Oh GOD I hope so ! ! Congratulations!! That's fantastic work I rarely think of my past life, as I mentioned in ILMW's thread I did have flashbacks during my recent vacation but I fully expected to have some feelings and I did and went with those feelings. One thing I did find difficult is that as much as I enjoyed all the time I had with my friend, I had notime for myslef and I've become selfish a bit that way so Iwas glad when I got back home to have a few days to myself, alone or with the boys but not worrying about burping, or other stuff us guys take for granted LOL..... I think this is all very normal and it sounds like you are really in tune with yourself and your thoughts and feelings. It takes time to process everything, and sometimes we just need a break from those thoughts and tend to pick them back up later. As long as you are being productive and enjoying the present moment most of the time, you are doing great!
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