ilmw Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 CC.. great to hear from you... Sounds like you are doing great! Happy xmas...
Gunny376 Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 Hi all, just to give you a quick update on what's been happening in my life. I'm definitely moving on, my X was here two weeks ago, the visit was stressful but I avoided talking to her like the plague and it went off without any major confromtations. She is here starting this weekend also for Christmas to be with the boys and again I will do whatever I can to make it stress free. On another note, I have met a very lovely lady, yeah me, the guy who said that's the last thing he wants. We have been seeing each other for a little while now and we both enjoy each others company so much. The boys have met her and think she's so sweet. Not sure where or if this will go anywhere, I still ahve a lot of baggage to work through but it's so nice to feel important to someone again and it's been well over a yar since the separation so it is time I really work on myself and stop trying to save something that is dead and will never be. Anyway, to all you guys, I sincerely hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, ( those that celebrate) and have a very safe, and happy holiday season. I'm not leaving here, I do come in but not much to say, I will contribute when I feel I can. C.C. Glad to hear to the good news! You deserve it! You've earned it! Merry XMAS
Author CryingCanuck Posted December 20, 2006 Author Posted December 20, 2006 LJ NO NO NO I will not tell my X, not for a long time, after what I've been through with her, I'm not strong enough to not allow her to weasel her way back into my life again, I like this lady not love and it wouldn;t take much to have her somehow slink back. The boys and I have talked and they both have promised that what happens in this house is our business unless it has to do directly with their mom and this doesn't rate. DG Slow is the catch word, man what is slow? lol but to be truthful, things have progressed way too fast and we're both trying to slow it down to enjoy the ride better ( NO PUN ).. DID I SAY THAT ???? The rest, thanks, and danm I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday and all your dreams (ILMY) come true.... Almost like a fairwell speech eh? I got something to say to you guys IT'S NOT...................... CC
Ladyjane14 Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 LJ NO NO NO I will not tell my X, not for a long time, after what I've been through with her, I'm not strong enough to not allow her to weasel her way back into my life again, I like this lady not love and it wouldn;t take much to have her somehow slink back. The boys and I have talked and they both have promised that what happens in this house is our business unless it has to do directly with their mom and this doesn't rate. I never get the opportunity to give you any advice, Canuck. Because you're always two steps ahead. :laugh:
Author CryingCanuck Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 Hey all you great people out there. Here's the update I've been promising.... 1) Moving on, steady as she goes, barely have any contact whatsoever with my EX, maybe talk to her every couple of week if that, and it's only about the kids or house nothing about us. I understand she is not doing at all well with her life, but that is truly no longer my concern, 2) Been dating, seeing other people and just keeping busy with the boys and living my life as well as possible... I really do need a two week vacation South but hate the thought of going alone so I'll hold that one off for the time being. 3) The house is up for sale, STILL but the area I live in and the prices out here for this type of house has a very limited market so it's wait wait wait... 4) As many of you know, Iwas in couselling but that isnow over, been told that I'm well on my way to getting bakc a normal life and unless there is a major setback, no need for it. Generally guys, I'm OK obviously I do have my moments but I seldon even think about myself being married, I don;t think about my EX andI don;t have regrets anymore. I could nowsit here and thank you all and tell you how much you have helped me with your support but you guys know that alread so instead as many know, I'll hang out, jump in with whatever advice I feel I can provide and try to repay for the help by providing what limited advice to someone else. CC ( keep those letters and card coming)
dgiirl Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Glad to see you around CC!! You need to post more often 2) Been dating, seeing other people and just keeping busy with the boys and living my life as well as possible... I really do need a two week vacation South but hate the thought of going alone so I'll hold that one off for the time being. Going alone might be just as much fun if not more than going with someone else When you travel alone, you set the pace! You get to go where you want, stop where you want, stay as much as you want. And you dont have anyone to accomodate! When visiting places alone, you have a lot of time to actually see your surroundings, you dont need to socialize with a partner, so you can actually be present in the present moment and enjoy the atmosphere. I think it would be very exciting to travel alone! 3) The house is up for sale, STILL but the area I live in and the prices out here for this type of house has a very limited market so it's wait wait wait... This was probably the hardest time for me CC! It took us about 10(?) months to sell the house. And almost every second weekend we had an open house, so the house had to be spotless all the time. Very frustrating and tiring, but it eventually got sold! If you have a contract with an agent, try and keep the deadline as short as possible, 2 months max. We made the mistake of having a 6 month contract so she didnt put as much effort into selling the house. Also, make sure they are putting signs up. My agent put only two signs up in the neighbourhood each open house. One at the end of my driveway, and one at the end of the street, which was a few feet away. Meanwhile, other agents had like 5-10 signs for one house throughout the neighbourhood. 4) As many of you know, Iwas in couselling but that isnow over, been told that I'm well on my way to getting bakc a normal life and unless there is a major setback, no need for it. That's awesome news Mine said something similar, she said all I needed now was to grieve, which I didnt need her for that. But I'm glad you went, and I'm glad you now know if you need to, you can go back! I saw your post in ilmw's thread, and you are right in that I am happier now than I ever was with my exh. Most of my grieving was over things I wanted my marriage to be, not what it was. I was grieving the dream not the reality. And that's not really to blame my ex. During my marriage, my own thinking wasnt even straight. I wasnt accepting the current situation. I was focusing on the wrong things and was very unhappy. I didnt realize I had choices and had power over my thinking that would control my happiness. My ex did me a big favour by leaving. I'm growing up. I'm getting a hold of my anxieties. I'm challenging my comfort zone. I'm doing new things. I'm learning to be dependent on myself. And I feel GREAT! My internal dialog is SO much better. And I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. CC, You're doing very well! Dont worry about slipping back from time to time. Realize this moment, that you are doing well, and if/when you slip back, realize that if you could do well in the past, you will do well again in the near future. Remember, the stats say it takes about 2 years to get over a divorce. So statistically speaking, you still have some more things to work through. But you are well on your way!
PWSX3 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Thanks CC & Dgiirl for sharing how things are going. For us that are a few steps behind you guys, it gives us hope and lets us know things can be O.K. if "WE" want them to be. You both show me that if we want to have a good future we can have one and we can do it without anyone else if needed be. Dgiirl, I never thought of going on a trip the way you worded it. I have always wanted someone to go with me to share the experience and maybe I don't need that, I have myself to share what I am doing with. Maybe the reason I have always wanted someone to go with is because I afraid to do things on my own. I have been wanting to go snowshoing and I've been waiting for a friend to go with, but maybe the next nice weekend we have I just need to do it by myself. (Yes I'll make sure to go where there are other people, the mountains aren't a place you want to be alone.) It is very healthy to hear good news & like I said things can get better if "we" want to make them that way, we do have a choice.
dgiirl Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I have been wanting to go snowshoing and I've been waiting for a friend to go with, but maybe the next nice weekend we have I just need to do it by myself. (Yes I'll make sure to go where there are other people, the mountains aren't a place you want to be alone.) I know I'm suggesting to you guys to travel alone, and if it was me, i'd probably chicken out I get scared to do things on my own too. But my brother LOVES to travel alone. He prefers it! He's gone to all these places overseas and has encouraged me to do it myself. When I was in MTL, I was afraid to go to places alone. This is how I got into photography. I took my camera with me and I started to see the world around me. I prefer going some place alone with my camera. This way I can take as many pictures as I want, and I dont have someone waiting for me to hurry up. I can wander around aimlessly as I choose and when I'm tired sit when I want. If you DO go snowshoeing by yourself, remember to take your camera!! If it's digital, take as many pics as you can! You can always delete the ones you dont want afterwards.
PWSX3 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 If you DO go snowshoeing by yourself, remember to take your camera!! If it's digital, take as many pics as you can! You can always delete the ones you dont want afterwards. I never go to the mountains without my camera. You never know what you will see. With taking a camera at least you will be able to share what you did with others later on if you want.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 It's great to hear that you're doing so well, Canuck. I knew you'd do alright though. You have a knack for finding the right path and making the best choices. It's your ex-wife's loss, I guess. And while that's sad for her... I think you're going to just continue getting better and better.
Author CryingCanuck Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 Dgirl, you're so right about the travelling alone stuff, I would say I'd do it but I guess as much as I'm again learning to be comfortable in my own skin, I still feel the same as PWSX3 does, wanting to share it with someone, but also being able to set my own timetable, do what I want, when I want, sounds good too. LJ guess you were right all along, I did have the inner strenght to get through this, too bad it took as long as it did but I never would have learned about myself had it been easy. We've all grown here, together is some ways and cyber yes, but there is someone breathing behind that screen and as such, I've learned that we are friends and that is another bonus of being here. sooo without being mushy, you know I'll be around, and posting and trying to help where I can. Dgirl, you have to keep me informed dear of what else you've been up to..... Gee you do know Dgirl, that a certain man in blue who lurks here isn't very far from you eh? HEHEHE Am I bad or what? Heck I bet if you take the Yonge subway all the way to the end of the line , and keep going another few miles North, and speed you might just get to meet him and never know it.....Until he asks you your name and you say it's so and so but my good friends call me Dgirl... hint hint hint. CC
Author CryingCanuck Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 Hiya all, LJ, Dgirl, Gunny, ILMW, and the rest.... Well I haven;t posted here in a bit and maybe I should more often but things are so darned busy these days.... This past Easter I finally took the boys to our hometown to visit the family, long LONG overdue..... And what a tonic it was.... It's true what they say that you can really only depend on your own blood ... We missed last Christmas as I didn;t feel like going home with everything that has happened here and found out from one brother that my big sister was so sad we weren;t there and all that stuff... Well she sure made it worth while.... We don't usually get together as a family for Easter, this year however, they whole crew got together, brothers sisters, nieces, nephews, grandparents.. The whole crew...... What a great weekend... My X has been playing her tricks still, she comes around here on the pretense of helping keep the house clean when we have an open house and to see the boys... I make myself as scarse as possible.. It works but I do appreciate the help... She is now moving back to town apparently... She has decided that she misses the boys and the dog and has informed me that she would like me to help her financially to move back since she has nomoney of her own ( as if I DO).. Then speaks to our youngest and says she's moving back but that she wants the dog to live at her place.... LIKE F**k ... Guess her life in hidding hasn't been as grand as she expected, or maybe she got dumped by another of her "friends". I'm really and honestly doing great.... Dating sucks so much though... at this age... I really hate it but hell, it does get me out of the house. LJ, I'm still working on me...... God I've got a long wy to go... I've noticed that when I feel I'm becoming attached to someone I pull back immediately and find reasons to not get together... That I do have to change....or at least work on. I recently re-read my earlier posts beginning from last February 06 and I know I've come a long way but the scars from what had transpired during that period I think, has had a lingering effect that may never totally go away but hopefully over time, will fade to just a bad memory.... That's about it guys..... I'd really doing well... I've been keeping up on your threads and everyone seems to be doing so well.... ILMW, Man you just amaze me.... You have it so together...... So that's it that's all.... Talk to you all later.... CC
dgiirl Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 CC, I missed you!! Although I've been super busy lately too. I'm glad to hear you had a great weekend with your family! Family is important and if you have a good relationship with them, embrace it! With this whole situation, my brother and I have grown closer. I know he will always be there to support me and to kick my butt when I need it! As for dating, I wish I could give you some advice. Unfortunately, I'm experiencing the exact same symptoms. I'm petrified of a relationship. I'm petrified of getting close. And at the same time, seem to get attached too soon and want quick results, which I know would just make me run away from the relationship. Then when I dont see the relationship progress, I keep looking for any reason to end it and then I become uncertain if I'm just overreacting so I stick around, become attached again, and go around in circles. To make it simple, I'm neurotic! But I think and hope the more practice we have in these situations, and the more we experience our feelings in these situations, the more we can process them and get over them. Just like our divorce took a while to process all the emotions, and we still have some left over, it will take some time to process our fears about another relationship. Good luck and keep us posted CC!
Ladyjane14 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Guess her life in hidding hasn't been as grand as she expected, or maybe she got dumped by another of her "friends". I can't say I'm really surprised by that, CC. Reality isn't what waywards had in mind. Afterall, the impetus that moved them along was the fantasy view of the future they'd conjured up in their heads. Oftentimes, when people aren't hap-hap-happy enough... they look at the people surrounding them rather than to themselves in an effort to find the cause. Spouses seem to be particularly vulnerable in this... because let's face, we do make mistakes with our partners. All of us do. It's just not possible to fulfill every EN for another person without occasionally dropping the ball. The wayward convinces herself that she's not happy because her husband is IMPEDING her happiness. And while that might be true for somebody who's husband is abusive... it's not true when one is married to an otherwise good man whose only sin is that he has occasionally "dropped the ball". She still won't be happy, because all the while... the cause was within her. And probably still is. That's why it's SOOOOO important for people to have a really CLEAR view of their circumstances before they make the decision to leave. I'm really and honestly doing great.... Dating sucks so much though... at this age... I really hate it but hell, it does get me out of the house. LJ, I'm still working on me...... God I've got a long wy to go... I've noticed that when I feel I'm becoming attached to someone I pull back immediately and find reasons to not get together... That I do have to change....or at least work on. You'll get there. You're just not ready yet. Give it time and don't over-think it. Every relationship comes with emotional risk as you well know. You're still not REALLY ready to take the plunge. But.... when someone comes along that impresses you enough, you will. You're not going to end up as some kind of misogynist hater. Don't worry. That's not what you're about. Have a little faith in YOU!!! I think it's GREAT that you and the boys had such a nice family get-together. :bunny: Maybe there's a way where you can visit more frequently??? Continuity of family is soooo important for young people. It's soothing for them to see themselves as a part of something bigger than just the nuclear family... which in the case of divorce is NOT what it once was. But in the larger extended family, they can see how a family's living arrangements don't really change blood and bone. Family is still family.
ilmw Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I can't say I'm really surprised by that, CC. Reality isn't what waywards had in mind. Afterall, the impetus that moved them along was the fantasy view of the future they'd conjured up in their heads. Oftentimes, when people aren't hap-hap-happy enough... they look at the people surrounding them rather than to themselves in an effort to find the cause. Spouses seem to be particularly vulnerable in this... because let's face, we do make mistakes with our partners. All of us do. It's just not possible to fulfill every EN for another person without occasionally dropping the ball. The wayward convinces herself that she's not happy because her husband is IMPEDING her happiness. And while that might be true for somebody who's husband is abusive... it's not true when one is married to an otherwise good man whose only sin is that he has occasionally "dropped the ball". She still won't be happy, because all the while... the cause was within her. And probably still is. That's why it's SOOOOO important for people to have a really CLEAR view of their circumstances before they make the decision to leave. You'll get there. You're just not ready yet. Give it time and don't over-think it. Every relationship comes with emotional risk as you well know. You're still not REALLY ready to take the plunge. But.... when someone comes along that impresses you enough, you will. You're not going to end up as some kind of misogynist hater. Don't worry. That's not what you're about. Have a little faith in YOU!!! I think it's GREAT that you and the boys had such a nice family get-together. :bunny: Maybe there's a way where you can visit more frequently??? Continuity of family is soooo important for young people. It's soothing for them to see themselves as a part of something bigger than just the nuclear family... which in the case of divorce is NOT what it once was. But in the larger extended family, they can see how a family's living arrangements don't really change blood and bone. Family is still family. LJ, That was, simply put... an amazing post!! CC, glad to hear from you again bud... I was wondering just yesterday... where the heck you were...... Keep up the posting bud... it will really give you a boost of moral...:bunny: ilmw
Gunny376 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Good to hear from you CC! Sounds like your improvising, adapting, and over-coming. This is a good site with some good artilces about divorce and moving forward http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/site_map.html Yet another good post LJ! BTW? Are you married to Bill O'Riley? Because I know there's a zero~no-spin zone at the homestead! :laugh: :laugh: When you and the DH went through the EM (can't even believe he would go there) you must have been on him like a pack of starved dogs on a sick three legged cat! :lmao:
Sup Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 It's apparent CC, that Mr. Reality has waltz in on your wife! As Gunny always puts it. Take care, MAN! We're here for ya! :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny:
Author CryingCanuck Posted April 14, 2007 Author Posted April 14, 2007 Sup........ yeah Mr. Reality may have waltz in on my X WIFE.... But that she is... there is no coming back, no re-run, it's over never to be revived.. Been there done that :-).... Guns, ILMW LJ and of course how could I forget our lovely Ms. Dgirl.... Thanks, I know you;re all there for me and as much as I havne;t been posting I've been reading... and learning from all of you. D, you haven't mentioned much about your new flame.... hope it's still burning brightly.. :-) CC
Author CryingCanuck Posted June 10, 2007 Author Posted June 10, 2007 Hiya all, Dgirl, ILMW, Gunny, Lady Jane, and so many more. Is there life after separation/divorce ? ? ? Well Yup there is. Things here in Canada's banana belt are just moving along on cruise control, just fine thank you. Before I get into much here, I do think I should apologize to ILMW for stealing his thread there a few days ago, I was too lazy to give you all an update on my own, but good OLE Dgirl put me in my place :-) What a sweetie she is hehehe OK here goes, well most of you know I've been involved with a lovely lady who has been divorced a while, and has two kids the exact same age as mine and are therefore on the way OUT ( yipeeeee). We seem to get along very well. I've heard is said that often times we tend to look for the same as we left, I can tell you for me that is the total opposite, she is 100% different than my last, I get to sit back and actually let her make various arrangements, I don't have to take care of her, she's a big girl...And for the time being very low maintanence, which is what I need/require. The family situation is this, the housing market out this way sucks, plain and simple, in the price range that my house is listed at, there was a bad market to start with, and now it's a DEAD market so that means divorce is REALLY put on the back burner but that's OK I'm not in any real rush. My X has come out here a few times and the boys really wish she would stay the heck away but I'm not going to get in the middle of that one... I get blamed for everything by the X and I'm not going to provide any more ammunition. I was out of town a few weeks back, she came here and either slept most of the time or watched TV, and did a bit of garden work for which was the main reason of her visit in the first place. The boys are just now getting themselves back to normal from their mothers visit... Not sure if I should simply not allow her to come to the house but it's a thought. My "friend" is not too happy about it, but in a way she is because I get to sleep at her place when the X is here (separate rooms guys) we do show repect to the kids but it is an inconvenience. The rest of my life is going pretty darned good, no long term plans on the horizon here, just day to day.... I still jump in every so often to see what's happening but really I'm barely on the puter anymore.... One thing that is still very puzzling to me and maybe I'm avoiding something, I still sometime sthink of my X and still have feelings for her, I know I would never act on them (hopefully not) but they do bother me, especially since I'm in a relationship with someone else and hat ethe thought of even thinking nice thoughts of the X. Opinions? Please don't tell me I shouldn't be in a relationship, I've thought this out a lot and it's been very good for both of us.... I still enjoy catching up and seeing how everyone is doing.... Well that's it for the time being all,
dgiirl Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 Before I get into much here, I do think I should apologize to ILMW for stealing his thread there a few days ago, I was too lazy to give you all an update on my own, but good OLE Dgirl put me in my place :-) What a sweetie she is hehehe Oh pleease!!! We all hijack each other's threads around here, and I'm sure ILMW will agree that there's no need to apologize I just wanted to hear a proper update from ya So thanks!! One thing that is still very puzzling to me and maybe I'm avoiding something, I still sometime sthink of my X and still have feelings for her, I know I would never act on them (hopefully not) but they do bother me, especially since I'm in a relationship with someone else and hat ethe thought of even thinking nice thoughts of the X. Opinions? I think you'd be abnormal if you didnt! You are not that far removed from when the bomb was dropped, and you spent a LONG time together that it simply is a habit of thinking of your ex and you still have a lot of memories with your ex floating around in your head. And it's especially hard because you are in constant contact with your ex. It simply takes new memories with your new life to replace the thoughts of the past. I dont think this has any bearing on your readiness of dating, it just means more times needs to pass (with or without being in a relationship). You know yourself better than any one of us and you know if you are ready for a relationship or not. It sounds like you are in a good healthy state, so enjoy the present moment and go with the flow a little.
Gunny376 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Glad to hear your doing well CC, sounds like things really have turned the corner for you. Just take it slow and give it time and you'll find yourself with more happiness than you know what to do with at one time. In so far as getting back into the dating game, it really varies from one person to person. Some people are ready befor the ink is dry on the "D" papers, some aren't ready years and years after the event. Its been seventeen years for me, and I'm not dating ~ but that's because I'm working and focused on other goals. To be honest? I've got serious doubts about ever getting married again ~ and I sure as Hell won't be doing the shacking up deal again. The problem that your going to fine is that there's not any shortage of women, (I know you've already got one). What I discoved is that its way too easy to get into a relationship. Relationships are easy to get into, but can be hard to maintain and sometimes hard to get out of. You've got the maturity and experince to know not to rush things, to keep things on the up and up, and to stay "real" about it all. As far as the X and your sons, well there's really not much that you can do ~ except what your doing. Legally she's still has rights of access to "her" property, unless you're in a position to buy her out and can convince her to sign a quit-claim. And, she still has rights to her children. So really all you can do is to keep "manning-up" and deal with the situation as you have been in a logical, cool, calm, collective manner. I understand the GF isn't happy about it ~ and why ~ I would just give her reassurances that she's the Lady of my life right now. And, that you're looking forward, and not over your shoulder at the past. As for thoughts about the XW. Well the bad news is that you'll have those for the rest of your life ~ short of losing your memory for good. Like or not ~ she's a part of you now, and who you are. From start to finish ~ what you've gone through with her has been and still a life alternating event. Not only is she a part of life alternating event in and of your life ~ fully interwoven with your very exsistence ~ for the last 24 years she was your life. I've been divorced for seventeen years and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the XW, in some form or fashion, if not just her name. Hey! Neither yours nor mine were just some junior high school summer fling. We had children with these women, and spent years and years with them. If a one year tour in Iraq can forever re-define who and what you are ~ you can bet your sweet azz that 23 years with someone such as you've been married to can and will. It will "change you up" but for real! Good God! Forever more, you'll never be the same person you were going into it. And to me, you're not posting as much nor as often is a good sign along the trail. Like MzPixie said ~ the ones that come on here and then quit posting ~ have moved on! Your not posting here as much means that's what you've been doing! BTW, a little mind-game I play with myself when I get to thinking about the X, (it happens less and less, and when it does its shorter in duration) is I say to myself, "Hell No! But, Hell NO! You're azz isn't going to live rent free in my freaking head and life for the rest of my life!" (Say it over and over at least seven times ~ it works). Of course the best solution I've found? Get busy ~ getting busy! Get busy living your life to the fullest and to the top! Either get busy living or get busy dying! But damnit ~ get busy! And either way you go ~ give it all you've got! Its funny ~ but you find that you've got so caught up in the s***, and life becomes such a struggle, and the "storms of life" keep rolling over you one after another ~ like a bad hurricane season in Florida. And, you're hunkered down and you keep thinking ~ "Damn! When is this this s*** ever going to come to and end?" Everyday is a chore just to get up and walk out the front door. I got so caught in my divorce and its life-alternating ramifications, combined with my determination, fortitude, and Marine Corps perspective to see it through ~ I didn't recognized that I had "arrived" at my destination that I was fighing and seeking to gain. That is to say, I was so focused to "take the hill" that when I reached it, breached it, had acheived it, had become master of it, I didn't recognize that I had done it. I was so determined to break out of Shawshank, and catch the bus to Mexico ~ that when I'd got to Mexico ~ I didn't realize I was already there ~ I was still fighting to survie and get there. CC? Mentally, emotionaly, spiritually ~ its time to catch the bus to Mexico! Its time to break out and set yourself free from the past! You've gave a warriors effort to the marriage, to the wife, to the family, to your sons ~ you still are! But its time to lighten your load! Go Easy Bro! Go Easy! This is your time! Time to catch tha' bus to Mexico!
Author CryingCanuck Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 That was so nice, enough said.......
Author CryingCanuck Posted July 20, 2007 Author Posted July 20, 2007 Ok it's been since June 12 that I posted so you're all due for an update. Well really in all honesty not much has happened. I'm still wishy--washy about the divorce thing, but at least now I have come to the realization that eventually I or my EX will do it, it's just not knowing when... Some days I think I'm ready, then something stops me, again I want to believe it's my vow, you know the one... we make it when we say I DO ! ! ! But maybe it's that I'm still attached to my marriage, not my wife, but being married.... A safety net maybe, who knows but eventually I'll work it out and get it done. I've been very busy the past 6 weeks, smoking is truly a thing of the past, haven't touched a smoke in over 14 weeks and loving it. Gained a ton of weight but hey, that will leave eventually right ? ?? Oh GOD I hope so ! ! My EX has had a few reasons to come out our way but we try not to have any contact, sometimes it's impossible but I've really lost my anger towards her, GOD I feel sorry for her, for how she lives and what has happened to her ( The trial of the Assault started last month and really did and is still doing a number on her), she at times seems to be only one more bad piece of news away from giving upon her life, she is seeing doctors but sometimes I think she feels totally overwhelmed but I stay away from it as much as possible. I had a lovely week away with my friend, it was romantic, caring and all that jazz and we are so in tune with each other. The boys adore her and she takes so much interest in them that they at times forget she's my friend and not their mother, not that they don;t care for their mom but they both get so antsy when they know she's coming to town. Anyway that too will sort itself out eventually. I rarely think of my past life, as I mentioned in ILMW's thread I did have flashbacks during my recent vacation but I fully expected to have some feelings and I did and went with those feelings. One thing I did find difficult is that as much as I enjoyed all the time I had with my friend, I had notime for myslef and I've become selfish a bit that way so Iwas glad when I got back home to have a few days to myself, alone or with the boys but not worrying about burping, or other stuff us guys take for granted LOL..... Anyway I hope to hear from my friend here to hear how they are making out... Guns, ILME, LJ, Dgirl, etc.... I'll try not to stay away as much but summer, and being busy is good and I just forget to check in.... Ohhh LJ one last thing, a while back you mentioned that someday those Runaway wives regret what they have done... Last week, my EX called me for money ( hey there's a new one) after her long expalnation and stuff and my suggesting things to help her, she comes out and says, that she's scared to make any kind of decision..... as she's already made the biggest mistake in her life by leaving and ruining a good marriage and doesn't want to make it worse... I didn't ask her to repeat herself, I wasn't interested in hearing. that... Talk to you all soon.... C.C.
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