What do you think the longest the average person goes for without having sex, dates

[Ross_K]

ect, when they haven't chose that?

[lovelorcet]

I can get a date with in 1-3 weeks jor so. I would even date girls that I would think at first that I would not be interested in. I have been surprized many times...

[hotgurl]

For me after I stared having sex it was about 6 months.

[Ross_K]

Jesus, how do you people manage to get someone so often?

 

Honestly, it boggles my mind.

[SoCalCatman72]

Five Years =P, but I'm anything but average

[SmoochieFace]

Jesus, how do you people manage to get someone so often?

 

Honestly, it boggles my mind.

 

Good to great social skills and a positive attitude and outlook on life. Being an interesting person with some life experience is definitely a plus.

[Ross_K]

hotgurl and lovewhatever (sorry, I can't remember your name) do you both go out socialising at clubs and bars everynight or something?

[hotgurl]

Jesus, how do you people manage to get someone so often?

 

Honestly, it boggles my mind.

 

I'm a girl, I'm pretty, outgoing and get alone with a lot of different people. I am also laid back and fun to be around. I never had any problem.

[hotgurl]

hotgurl and lovewhatever (sorry, I can't remember your name) do you both go out socialising at clubs and bars everynight or something?

 

No I've been in a relationship for five years. Before that I was in college and meet a lot of people in class. I did go to bars & clubs about 2-3 times a week.

 

After college I meet people at work and in bars & clubs and daces( I salsa dance) , grocery stores. I was even picked up at K-mart.

[Ross_K]

SoCalCatman72, did you do anything in particular to get out of your dry spell? Or did it just happen naturally on it's own?

 

hotgurl, you don't realise how lucky you are.

 

But, I guess it is a lot more easier for girls than guys since they don't have to do much of the work, all they have to do really is to just be 'out there', since most of the time the guys just come to them.

[hotgurl]

Ross it's all about confidence an attitude.

 

First you have to get out of your house.

 

I almost always am in a good mood. I smile a lot and am open & freindly. Body language has a lot to do with it. How you carry yourself. When I was depressed last year I got approached well almost never becuse I carried myself differently. I was closed off and never smiled. I know this is almost equal to telling someone to just be happy. But there is the whole fake it until you make it approach as well.

[kjl933]

Ross-

 

It is a totally different story for women. They have the goods that all men want and they can have sex or a date at any time. No matter if they are fat, ugly, beautiful, sexy, gross or whatever.

 

Test the theory--have any girl walk into a bar or any public place and ask if anyone wants to get laid or a blowjob. Any man that is there without his own SO will raise his hand.

 

Now you, as a male, walk in and ask the ladies if they want to get laid and 100% of the hands will go up--but they will all have an outstretched middle finger pointing skyward at the top.

 

The pu$$y is a very powerful creature. Never underestimate it! NEVER!

[littlekitty]

Ross it's all about confidence an attitude.

 

First you have to get out of your house.

 

I almost always am in a good mood. I smile a lot and am open & freindly. Body language has a lot to do with it. How you carry yourself. When I was depressed last year I got approached well almost never becuse I carried myself differently. I was closed off and never smiled. I know this is almost equal to telling someone to just be happy. But there is the whole fake it until you make it approach as well.

 

Hotgurl makes some good points. Like I said in your other thread, you can confidence until you actually build it up!

 

But the main one is.... get out of the house!

[Ross_K]

I know I need to get out more, and, when I have felt more happier and confident, people seem to be more friendlier towards me and they seem to initiate the conversation with me a lot more.

 

It's still really hard to imagine getting a woman offline though even if I am like this all the time and going out more, I mean, surely some woman offline should've shown interest in me at least once in the whole of my lifetime. Since they haven't, it just really makes me think that there's more to this than just being confident.

 

I'm not throwing your advice back in your face or anything, I mean, I could be wrong. But, I'm just saying that's all.

 

But still, yeah, I am actually working on getting out more and being more confident and happy around people.

[hotgurl]

Ross-

 

Any man that is there without his own SO will raise his hand.

 

Maybe some with an So would raise thier hands as well.

But word girls have it easy. I could get sex any night of the week! (if I wasn't picky)

[SoCalCatman72]

SoCalCatman72, did you do anything in particular to get out of your dry spell? Or did it just happen naturally on it's own?

 

Actually it's a self imposed dry spell, though due to recent events, I don't know how solid that dry spell is going to be.

[Ross_K]

Hotgurl makes some good points. Like I said in your other thread, you can confidence until you actually build it up!

 

But the main one is.... get out of the house!

 

I don't mean to throw your advice back in your face or trying to annoy you. But I have tried faking confidence and I feel like I'm coming off as an arrogant ass. I guess I've got to try and fake confidence without coming off like that or just feeling like that if that's how it is. But I don't know how.

[hotgurl]

Are you going to therapy? A good therapist can help you learn teniques to cope with your social anxiety. Also they can help you gain confidence and get out of the house more. what about meds?

 

also I would make a list (I'm a list person)

of all the goals you want to achieve.

Than for the bigger goals break them down into steps. That you can achieve one at a time so it's not so overwelming. And realize some goals could take years to acheive. Mine did.

 

A therapist can help you create a list and break it down as well.

[Ross_K]

Are you going to therapy? A good therapist can help you learn teniques to cope with your social anxiety. Also they can help you gain confidence and get out of the house more. what about meds?

 

also I would make a list (I'm a list person)

of all the goals you want to achieve.

Than for the bigger goals break them down into steps. That you can achieve one at a time so it's not so overwelming. And realize some goals could take years to acheive. Mine did.

 

A therapist can help you create a list and break it down as well.

 

I'm on meds, they don't seem to be working that well at the moment though, I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor. Also I'm on a waiting list for a psychologist.

 

The list thing is actually a good idea and I'll do that, breaking things down into steps will make things seem easier and less daunting, thanks.

[kjl933]

Ross--don't fake your confidence. It will come naturally in whatever situation you are in. Some people are confident in some situations and not others. Where do you feel comfortable? In a mall? At a Dungeons and Dragons store? City Park? Amusement Park? Pub? Football game? Library? School? Go to a place where YOU feel comfortable and at "home". There are apt to be ladies there and if you are comfy in your physical surroundings, the confidence you seek, should come out.

[littlekitty]

I don't mean to throw your advice back in your face or trying to annoy you. But I have tried faking confidence and I feel like I'm coming off as an arrogant ass. I guess I've got to try and fake confidence without coming off like that or just feeling like that if that's how it is. But I don't know how.

 

Ok here's how to start:

 

1) Smile more. People will be more drawn to a smiling person.

2) Look at your stance in the mirror. Check out some body language websites. If your stance is closed, people will not be drawn to you.

3) Confidence does not equal arrogance. Check out some websites advising on building confidence.

[Ross_K]

Thanks kjl933.

 

There doesn't seem to be any public places where I feel confident, but maybe there are some where I would feel confident. I'll look into it and see what I find.

[Ross_K]

Ok here's how to start:

 

1) Smile more. People will be more drawn to a smiling person.

2) Look at your stance in the mirror. Check out some body language websites. If your stance is closed, people will not be drawn to you.

3) Confidence does not equal arrogance. Check out some websites advising on building confidence.

 

Thanks, I'll check that stuff out.

[littlekitty]

Thanks, I'll check that stuff out.

 

Definately do it. I used to out and stand in a bar and scowl all night with my arms crossed wondering why no men approached me!!

 

Small wonder really eh?! I soon learnt that smiling and looking open and as though I was happy and having fun worked far more in my favour!!

[Ross_K]

I wonder why we do that without thinking though? You know, the scouling, arms folded, and whatever. I wonder what it says about what is going on inside of us.

 

Is it just a defensive reaction to tell people to stay away because we are feeling nervous? Do we think most people aren't nice? I guess there could be other reasons too.