Guest Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Hi One of my best friends recently moved to Los Angeles. I haven't seen her for so long yet kept in touch, speaking to each other nearly every day since she left. Last week I flew over to see her and was really excited. However for some strange reason I felt like she didnt really want me there. Though I put this down to the copious amounts of alcohol we drunk. The next day I told her how I felt and we had a big argument about it but we managed to put this behind us. When I saw her that evening I apologized for being stupid and questioning our friendship (by that point I realised I was wrong) but she didn't seem to accept my apology. We were still talking but she grew more and more angry every time I apologized. So I left it at that, went home and wrote her an email saying sorry again. This time she exploded saying "get a grip, everything is fine". Now she won't answer my emails, has blocked me on MSN and I feel bad. So today I ring her, just to say hello, but she obviously wasn't all that happy to hear from me. After a bit of small talk (strained on her part I feel) I said goodbye and asked if we are still cool? She didn't answer the question and just said "if you say that one more time I'm going to get really angry". Now I don't know where I stand! If I apologize she gets annoyed, if I talk to her it sounds like she doesn't want to talk to me! How should I play this now? I hadn't spoken to her in 4 days yet and she hasn't tried to contact me. I made the first move but I don't think it helped. Should I leave her alone? Give her some time? I can't seem to fight the issue head on because she doesn't want to know! Some help please!? Thanks Mr Frustrated.
Guest Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I once heard someone say that sometimes people get so wrapped up in whether a relationship is doing ok, that they forget to actually just "live" the relationship. Meaning they spend so much time talking about if they are communicating well enough, or are happy enough, or are getting along well enough, that the relationship stops existing outside of that analysis. I realize this has only been a few days, and you are just trying to mend the fences, but it may be that your constant analysis of the fallout from the argument is actually taking away from the freindship (or whatever remains of it). My advice would be to step back, give your freind some time to cool off, and then make contact in a couple of weeks without mentioning the argument - just drop a line with a funny story or something. Your freind has told you everything is ok, so if she means it she will just respond normally and you can move on. If not, there is probably something else behind her actions and was all along. Good luck!
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