Summer2000 Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 If you are dating someone for a year and talked to that person everyday and night, and then you get dumped by him because they don't love you and never will, do you think that person still thinks of me? I am in the n/c stage and I feel like I am going crazy right now.. I know it is for the best, I would just like to know if he still thinks of me.. For whatever reason I am really having a hard time today.. I can't get him off my mind for anything! I went to work today, cleaned my house, talked on the phone, everything I could possable do to get him off my mind.. Nothing seems to work.. Ugh.. is this ever going to get better?
EllieBear Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 He def is thinking of you...maybe not all the time like he is on your mind but I'm sure he thinks of you from time to time...unless he is heartless and I don't think that is the case. What you need to do is take this break up one day at a time. If you can get through this day and the next day will get easier and easier. It's normal to think about him. But try to limit it to once or twice a day. He can't keep running around your mind..I think maybe you are still holding on to that maybe you will get back together? It's called a break up because it's broke! One of my fave quotes! Until you relize that it's over you will keep thinking of him. Denial one of the stages to breaking up. I know how you feel my bf just broke up with me and I know excatly where you are coming from. I couldn't get him off my mind no matter what I did...I worked, hung with friends all the things you are suppose to do...and nothing worked..until one day I told myself that I don't think he is thinking of me all the time, like I am...I need to move on.. Since you can't seem to get him off your mind Try reading break up books...Those really help you to relize what happened and to mourn over the break up... Try these:*It's Called Break Up Because It's Broke (The guy that wrote He's just not that into you)*Don't Call That Man*Bittergirls Guide to Breaking up (Really GOOD!!)*Or anyothers you may find at the bookstore. Nothing can heal a brokenheart but time...He will be on your mind all the time until you tell yourself it's over and no matter how much I think about him he isn't coming back..Hope this helps! Good Luck!
ImInPain Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 They have to think of you at some point. There are always little reminders. Like passing somewhere you were together and such. Do they care? Depends on how cold hearted they are. I cannot go any where in 2 counties without thinking about mine and I know she must think of me. She also still has the engagement ring I gave her 3 months ago. That must mean something.
D-Lish Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Some people just have the capability of pushing pain and memories aside- locking them away in a little compartment in their brain. Men are better at this than women. It's a defense mechanism, a means of denying the pain so they don't have to deal with it. The problem with this? It inevitably resurfaces. When you don't deal with pain, it stays with you. Maybe it manifests itself at your job or how you interact with friends, or strangers. That is unhealthy. Do they still care? Maybe. Have they convinced themselves they don't care? Probably, yes. But they will someday. Are we better off without people who are heartless? Most definetely, yes.
D-Lish Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Some people just have the capability of pushing pain and memories aside- locking them away in a little compartment in their brain. Men are better at this than women. It's a defense mechanism, a means of denying the pain so they don't have to deal with it. The problem with this? It inevitably resurfaces. When you don't deal with pain, it stays with you. Maybe it manifests itself at your job or how you interact with friends, or strangers. That is unhealthy. Do they still care? Maybe. Have they convinced themselves they don't care? Probably, yes. But they will someday. Are we better off without people who are heartless? Most definetely, yes. We lament, we post here, we talk to our friends and we deal with the pain...and eventually we get over it. That is healthy- that is what enables us to move forward with open minds and open hearts once again. People that don't deal with pain remain in that stagnant pitt of bitterness and confusion.... remember that. :-) D
Author Summer2000 Posted October 11, 2006 Author Posted October 11, 2006 Today I am having problems again, I can't stop crying and all's I am doing is thinking about him.. I guess I am just venthing here.. Will this pain ever go away??? Ugh
ImInPain Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 The pain will never go away it will just grow less with time. I have been crying for 4 months. I have never hurt so bad. I wish that I could stop but I cannot. Try therapy. It is kinda helping me. The drugs havent started working yet but I hope they will help. I have never been so low in all my life. I miss her with all my heart and I cannot even move on. This has to get easier at some point. Just try and do things to forget. Get out of the house, go for a drive, go to the movies, read a book or just read and post on here. Good luck
Rooster_DAR Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 This will continue off and on for a while. Keep track of the days that are bad and the days that are good. In a month, contrast and compare these moments and you will see that you truly do start to get better. I'm now just over two months into my ended relationship, and I've had steady progress since then. A month and a half ago, I was in really bad shape, now I am going out an enjoying myself. Sure, I still have a sad melancholy drift by here and there, but progression is eminent. Hang in there kiddo, things will get better. Regards,
Author Summer2000 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Posted October 12, 2006 I just feel almost like I am obsessing for him.. No matter what I do I keep thinking of him... I just feel like he does not care about me what so ever, and I know for a fact he does not care about me, he only cares about what is in my pants.. In so many ways I am upset with myself for allowing him to treat me so bad, in other ways I just keep thinking about how much I love him and how I feel I am no good without him.. I don't know if that statement many any sense to you, but.. I just feel so lost and empty without him. I am trying so hard to be strong and to keep telling myself he was not the ONE for me, but the other half of my heart tells me that he was the ONE.. I miss him so much, I feel like I am dying inside.. I miss looking into his eyes, and just cuddling there with him.. I miss laughing with him.. Ugh, I miss so many things.. I know there was so much more bad in our reationship then there was good, but for whatever reason I am not accepting this break up.. How is it that you make yourself accept it is really over? [FONT=Comic Sans MS][sIZE=2][COLOR=#800080][/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]
Rooster_DAR Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 Most of the time you have no choice in the matter.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Posted October 12, 2006 This sucks! I just feel like crap!!! I can't get a grip on myself
shawn_68 Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 This sucks! I just feel like crap!!! I can't get a grip on myself As hard as it may be at this point, you really have to try to look FORWARD. Realize that looking backward will only cause you pain. The more you do it, the more painful it will become. It's a fact. Figure out what it would take for you to be the happiest person that you can be. Start taking steps in that direction. People often say that finding another love will finally allow you to get over someone. While this does occur at times, it's REALLY the letting go of the past and concentrating on your future happiness that allows healing. In just a little time you will realize that you ARE happy and complete without him. Forward thinking, Summer.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 This sucks! I just feel like crap!!! I can't get a grip on myself Been there, and sometimes I am still there. Take your time, you will be okay and we will help you get there as much as we can. Post back whenever you feel like it! Cheers!
Confuggled_one Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 summer: first i wanted to comment on your avatar. it's really adorable. is that your dog? well on to more important matters. i know it's hard to cheer up in this phase, and see your ex move on perfectly without you.. most of the times they are doing this to get to you and even to piss you off. i know for some other cases, this does not apply.. but just imagine that he IS trying to piss you off. 2nd, it's hard to get it off your mind, that's why you always need to talk to people. ive been in this scenario for 6 months if that makes you feel better.. and plus mine has be on and off.. i finally got fed up with it and i finally realize taht my ex was just tryin to **** with me whenever she had no one there. you gotta put a end to it. tell yourself that you are happy and great without that person. just think about your life before him and how normal and stable things were. plus he sounds kinda mean.. dont you think you were better off with him? he dumped YOU.. one day he'll realize that there are only a very few amount of peeps that would love him the way you do. just keep talkin, reading post here, and try to do a hobby.. most of the time i cant focus.. and hell i even dropped out of skoo for my ex. but you know what? we gotta fix ourselves.. we just gotta talk ourselves outta this and give ourselves some credit and acknowledge our goods.. hope this helps.. cheer up buddy
Author Summer2000 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Posted October 12, 2006 Thank you all for your kindness and your advise.. That is not my dog, but the dog is cute.. I know I need to get on with my life, and I am really trying.. Its just so hard.. I just wish he would love me.. I keep thinking that I did something wrong.. Ya know.. I mean for a man to date me for a year and not have any feelings?? I don't know..
shawn_68 Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 I just wish he would love me.. I keep thinking that I did something wrong.. Ya know.. I mean for a man to date me for a year and not have any feelings?? I don't know.. Honestly, you should be thanking God above that this relationship didn't develop any further, especially with marriage and kids. I know that's what you want. But you were spared!!! Be thankful. There are many men that will appreciate you. He was too consumed with his own desires. Again, be thankful.
Author Summer2000 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Posted October 12, 2006 I know I should be thankful, but right now I am not, Right now I feel like crap and I have been crying all darn day.. I can't help it.. I know things happen for a reason, but this is complete hel_ for me..
shawn_68 Posted October 12, 2006 Posted October 12, 2006 I know I should be thankful, but right now I am not, Right now I feel like crap and I have been crying all darn day.. I can't help it.. I know things happen for a reason, but this is complete hel_ for me.. Which is why you should KEEP posting, letting these things out, and providing help to others. It will be ok.
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