sexy_T-Bear_ny83 Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 I was with my ex for three years. We had many ups and down's. I struggled so hard to make it work. There are so many things i regret. I wish i had left her when she told me about her sexual history before me wich was huge being she was my first. When i say huge your probably wondering how huge so i'll tell you 10! you may disagree with me but to me that's a HUGE number. anyway i cared about her allot and stayed. no matter how hard i tried it did'nt work out. She wanted to go away for her 4 year, when in my opinion there were better options for her here{NY}. I told her that a long distence relation ship to me was unacceptibl. so she said she would stay. this was around febuary {05}. the summer past and all was good so i thought... one week before the semester started she tells me she is going. what hurts the most was she used me over the summer so that she could go to her new school warm, and leave me here cold. she didnt want me to find someone else and try to get over her, over the summer. no she choose to shiit on me so that i could go through all this hurt while the new semester started. worst thing was after all this we didnt speak for two months. than she just started showing up on the weekends! And i was weak i kept taking her everytime she came. Why? cuzz Im fu*^en week. after her semesters was over in that school she decided she could come back and have me as her man. so she came back and im not gonna lie , we were hanging out allot. But she wanted to know were i was going who i was going with and just about everthing i was doing and i didnt want to have anything to do with that. I told her that Im not her boyfriend anymore and that i didnt want a serius relationship with her anymore. how could she think that she could go out there and do whatever she wants and then all of a sudden come back and have it the way it was before? It's beyond me? anyway she couldnt except that and said to me basically it's all or nothing and that we could not be friends.{evan though we promised each other that we allways would be} So I looked her in her eyes and said "nothing"{evan though i knew thats not what i wanted, but she put me in this place and i had to make a stand} I hav'nt seen or herd from her since then {febuary 06}. I wish i could forget her. I wish i could move on, I want to meet someone new and for some reason im so bitter. Ever girl i meet is stuck up. And i have a genuine misstrust and anger toward wemon. yet i so badly want to love agian. i just find it so hard to meet some one new. Im lonly yet i cant let anyone in either? it's wierd but i feel there is this invisible wall around me and it's preventing me from finding happiness. I wish this feeling would go away......
SurvivingHB Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 My guy kinda ruined my life as well. He dated one of my girl friends, slept with a hooker and flirted with my other girl friend. That totally ruined my self-confidence and self-esteem. It is still very hard for me to live my daily life since we brokeup last month. However, you have to remind yourself that there are lots of nice ppl out there. We just met the wrong person at the wrong time. We got hurt and we learned from the mistakes. I should have hated him because he said that he never loved me in our 1 1/2 years of relationship. And guess what, I am pregnant. He said that it is my decision to keep or not. He wants nothing to do with it. I don't resent him for what he did or what he said. I only want to make peace with myself and believe that there are still lots of loving people out there. I will find one eventually. If not, that's ok, too. Life is too short to live in pain and anger. It takes lots of time to heal, but give yourself and other girls a chance. Start as friends. Release your anger and betterness with workout. Enjoy life while you can.
Author sexy_T-Bear_ny83 Posted October 11, 2006 Author Posted October 11, 2006 Thanks for the feed back HB. I apprieciate it. As for the working Out we'll ive been doing it for about three months now and believe me it has been helping out allot. especially with the Sexual frustration lol! I'll try my best to give other girls a chance. i just wish there was a way to start fresh. you see im just havin trouble speaking to new wemon especially the ones im attracted to:lmao: . I think its because of all the deception I've endured. But thanks once agian for the reminder that there are nice people out there like you
andy_whitewater Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Hey man I just wanted to say keep at it. After being badly hurt I thought there would never be anyone else again. On the bad days it still feels like that and I miss her so much I ache, but I'm hopeful that pain will fade with time. I'm not sure if I'll meet anyone like her again, but there will be others and who knows what could happen with them. I never realised how hard it was to let someone back in after you've had the door slammed shut. Its gotta get better though right? good luck
Author sexy_T-Bear_ny83 Posted October 13, 2006 Author Posted October 13, 2006 thanks for the word's of encoragement Andy, Your ma boy! I've actually been feeling allot better in the last couple of day's. I've realized that there are so much more inportant things to do. I've been getting my ****t togather in school. Hanging out with my boy's and also most importantly I've been working out Hardcore and it's really helping me. I dont feel depressed anymore. Don't get me wrong I still get lonely from time to time but, it's getting better everyday. today is actually the first day in a long time, were I went to school and girls were flirting with me all day.{this has not happened since i became single agian..Last febuary!!lol} And Im not gonna lie "it feels Phenominal!"_Vince Voughn_Dodge Ball...lol last night i sat there and said to my self "I dont need anyone! I need to improve myself, I need to get better at everything i do. F*** all this crap! I'm not gonna evan stress girls anymore. Then I wake up this morning, Look at myself in the mirror and said F*^% shaving!lol Went to school rougged like a Boss! all of the sudden all the girl's i've been eyeing are looking at me different. It's allmost like they can sense i dont give a f*^%!lol Mabe it was just a good day but Honestly Im gonna do mine own thing and if any girl is feeling me she is gonna have to come and get me ,{not the other way around any more} And you know what? that sound's Awsome!
andy_whitewater Posted October 13, 2006 Posted October 13, 2006 thats so good to hear! sounds like you're gonna be looking after your needs first and thats totally what you need to do. Weirdly enough I'm doing the whole no shaving rugged look and it really works! Plus theres something about getting in that frame of mind that really helps! Good for you for wanting to get better at everything you do. I'm doing that with playing drums, I've neglected the stuff I really enjoy doing for far too long. Take it easy man, i think things will be ok andy p.s. dodgeball is an awesome movie (second only to the wedding crashers!)
Author sexy_T-Bear_ny83 Posted October 13, 2006 Author Posted October 13, 2006 I totaly agree Wedding Crasher's was awsome "tatoo on the lower back, Might as well be a bull's eye! lol... Yo dude you got to check out The Break up. The scene where he play's madden against some guy his girl is trying to get him jelus with. LoL Halarius:D
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