howlongtowait Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I recently met a girl at a wedding, we spent the night dancing and talking; we both had a pleasant time. After getting her number I called and left a message saying that I wanted to take her out on Saturday night. The wedding was on Saturday, I called Monday night and am wondering should I expect her to return the call or should I follow up (I'm thinking on wednesday or thursday). Any input would be useful. Thanks.
Adunaphel Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I recently met a girl at a wedding, we spent the night dancing and talking; we both had a pleasant time. After getting her number I called and left a message saying that I wanted to take her out on Saturday night. The wedding was on Saturday, I called Monday night and am wondering should I expect her to return the call or should I follow up (I'm thinking on wednesday or thursday). Any input would be useful. Thanks. I don't see anything wrong or rude in calling her again. Thursday would be a good day in my opinion, unless you hear from her before.
crazy_grl Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 Yes, she should return the call. If you're really interested then you could call once more. It's possible she didn't get the message or something. I'm inclined to say don't call again at all, but one more call really can't hurt. Don't call any more than that unless she calls you back though. You don't want to make yourself a pest if she's not interested.
alphamale Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 I don't see anything wrong or rude in calling her again. Thursday would be a good day in my opinion, bad advice....if he doesn't hear from her he can place a second call a week or two after the first call. If she still doesn't respond then move on.
Buttaflyy Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 bad advice....if he doesn't hear from her he can place a second call a week or two after the first call. If she still doesn't respond then move on. I agree with this. From a female's POV.
gfto Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 You made two mistakes: (1) leaving a message; and (2) asking for a Saturday date. This makes you look overeager. Once you got the number, you should've waited until about Thursday to call her and ask her to meet you for coffee at Starbucks on Sunday. But, what's done is done. I agree with Alpha. Wait a good week. Call her and ask for a date. If it goes to voice mail again, just hang up and flush her number.
crazy_grl Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 You made two mistakes: (1) leaving a message; and (2) asking for a Saturday date. This makes you look overeager. Once you got the number, you should've waited until about Thursday to call her and ask her to meet you for coffee at Starbucks on Sunday. But, what's done is done. I agree with Alpha. Wait a good week. Call her and ask for a date. If it goes to voice mail again, just hang up and flush her number. This advice does apply if you're about 20 and/or looking for girls who are immature and like to play games. Which is fine if that's what you want. If you're older or don't want to play games, then showing your interest when you're interested will actually help you eliminate flakey game players. Of course, the part about leaving a message being a mistake doesn't even apply to the girls who like to play games. I think it's pretty weak when a guy doesn't leave a message. It makes him look cowardly, and the only way to contact her if you don't leave a message is to keep calling back. That makes you look pretty pathetic and weird when she sees the same number show up repeatedly on her caller ID. Also, if she doesn't answer unfamiliar numbers, you'll never get to talk to her.
gfto Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 lol. I knew someone would chime in with the standard lecture about "playing games" on this one.
crazy_grl Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 And I knew someone would chime in with the aweful advice to play games. Glad neither of us are surprised.
alphamale Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 lol. I knew someone would chime in with the standard lecture about "playing games" on this one. life is a game GFTO...
crazy_grl Posted October 10, 2006 Posted October 10, 2006 life is a game GFTO... True in a "all the world is a stage" sense.
Adunaphel Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 bad advice....if he doesn't hear from her he can place a second call a week or two after the first call. If she still doesn't respond then move on. It's just that if I were interested in a guy and he left a message saying that he wanted to take me out on saturday (different from asking "would you like to go out with me on saturday?") I am not 100% sure I'd call back, and surely I'd not call back straight away. I'm not a game player, just shy. And I'd be worried to look like a pest.
Ariadne Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Hi, I called Monday night and am wondering should I expect her to return the call or should I follow up I tell you what. If you feel like calling, then call, when you feel like it. If you don't, then don't. Ariadne
nicki Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Yeah, give her a call. Tell her you are making your weekend plans and ask her out again for Saturday night. If you don't hear back from her after 2 phone calls, then lose her number and move on. If she calls you back on Saturday, be happy to talk to her, but explain that you have already made plans for that night. Ask her out for the NEXT weekend. We wouldn't want her thinking you are sitting around doing nothing but waiting for her call. Remember, even if you first meet someone and hit it off, sometimes they have things going on you don't know about. So if they don't call back, it could be because of things that have nothing to do with you. If you don't get a call back, it's best just to say "oh well, next" and put it out of your mind.) Saying that, give her another call and see what happens.
crazy_grl Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 It's just that if I were interested in a guy and he left a message saying that he wanted to take me out on saturday (different from asking "would you like to go out with me on saturday?") I am not 100% sure I'd call back, and surely I'd not call back straight away. I'm not a game player, just shy. And I'd be worried to look like a pest. Huh? I don't get this at all. Why would a guy ask "would you like to go out with me on saturday?" over voice mail. You can't answer the question, so it makes a lot more sense for him to say that he'd like to take you out and then put it in the form of a question when you call back. In any case, it's pretty much saying the same thing (though to me the latter seems like a less lame way of saying it). Why would that wording make a difference in whether you'd call him back? Or am I misunderstanding what you're saying?
crazy_grl Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 If you don't hear back from her after 2 phone calls, then lose her number and move on. If she calls you back on Saturday, be happy to talk to her, but explain that you have already made plans for that night. Ask her out for the NEXT weekend. We wouldn't want her thinking you are sitting around doing nothing but waiting for her call. Pretty good advice, but I'd add to actually make plans to do something else if she doesn't call back by Friday. Don't just say you've made them.
Adunaphel Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Huh? I don't get this at all. Why would a guy ask "would you like to go out with me on saturday?" over voice mail. You can't answer the question, so it makes a lot more sense for him to say that he'd like to take you out and then put it in the form of a question when you call back. In any case, it's pretty much saying the same thing (though to me the latter seems like a less lame way of saying it). Why would that wording make a difference in whether you'd call him back? Or am I misunderstanding what you're saying? You are probably right. It's just that I'm very shy - I'd find it easier to pick up the phone and call him if he asked me a question that requires an answer. Also, if someone does leave a message saying he wants to take me out (and I'm interested in him) I would not be sure about what the proper etiquette is -calling back or waiting for him to call back. I'd call him after a couple of days if I don't hear from him, but if he just asks me to call him back he'll make my life easier!
crazy_grl Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 You are probably right. It's just that I'm very shy - I'd find it easier to pick up the phone and call him if he asked me a question that requires an answer. Also, if someone does leave a message saying he wants to take me out (and I'm interested in him) I would not be sure about what the proper etiquette is -calling back or waiting for him to call back. I'd call him after a couple of days if I don't hear from him, but if he just asks me to call him back he'll make my life easier! You're so WEIRD! lol. But that's ok. So am I sometimes. No, you raise a good point though. I'd just assumed howlongtowait had asked her to call back, because that's what I always do when I want someone to call. It never occured to me that he wouldn't have. If a guy left me that message but didn't say he wanted me to call back and let him know, I might also wonder if he was just going to call me back later. So whether she even realizes she's supposed to call depends on what he said in the message.
Author howlongtowait Posted October 11, 2006 Author Posted October 11, 2006 for the record I believed I said something along the lines of: "I had a nice time meeting you and I'm calling because I want to take you out on Saturday, please give me a call back"...that's the basic gist of it anyways
Sand&Water Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 Howlongtowait, You called on Monday. It is Wednesday, now. So I say give it til friday for her to return your call. If not, then you have your answer. She doesn't have 1 minute to return your call, what does that say about her? Obviously, she can't be that busy to spare a minute. Hope she accepts the date. Sand&Water
SoleMate Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 It's just that if I were interested in a guy and he left a message saying that he wanted to take me out on saturday (different from asking "would you like to go out with me on saturday?") I am not 100% sure I'd call back, and surely I'd not call back straight away. Good point! Wording makes a big difference. METHOD 1: "I'd like to take you out on Saturday." METHOD 2: "Would you like to go and see a movie with me on Friday at 7, and have dinner afterwards? I was thinking The Departed and pizza. Please give me a call and let me know by Thursday. Looking forward to hearing from you. My number is 555-1234." Method 2 is an invitation and requires a response. Method 1 isn't. Method 1 puts a burden in the recipient's court to call up, learn the terms of the invitation (if any is actually forthcoming), respond, etc. Method 2 just requires Yes or No.
Green Posted October 11, 2006 Posted October 11, 2006 never leave a msg for a girl who you barely know, he should have hung up the phone and tried calling back some other time when he got the voice mail. He should try txting her if its a cell.
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